Vita Nova
by carolina-28
Summary: New life or new beginning. Everything changes for Arthur. Features matchmaking Morgana. Modern AU. Slash.
1. Expressing myself

Pairing: Merlin/Arthur

Features Gwen/Arthur but not for long ;)

Modern AU

I've changed the title 'Better than a dram' as it was confusing to those not knowing the meaning of dram (see below) and people thought it was a typo for dreams.

Vita Nova means New life (if I'm incorrect then please tell me :)

p.s. A dram is the name for a traditional Scottish whiskey measure. (I'm Scottish but I really have to be forced into drinking the stuff sorry)

*****

"Love, will you get more bread if you're still heading out?"

Arthur yelled from his precarious perch on a slender wooden stool. Despite his significant reach, he was struggling to do more than brush his fingers over the cool, glass bottles. It had been a daft idea to leave his stash so high up but then the entire point had been to place the bottles out of sight.

It was all down to that idiot Merlin. He was an irritatingly scatty, writer friend of Gwen's.

Gwen had been determined that her _old pal _wouldn't have access to the harder stuff at the small party they had thrown the night before. He had readily agreed, though not for the same selfless reason. He hadn't gotton over last month's celebration of his girlfriend's birthday where Merlin had drunk the last of his pride and joy- a bottle of lovingly distilled whisky. It wasn't his fault that the git had lost his boyfriend the day before and had felt the need to drink himself into oblivion, so why had _his_ stash been filched? It had been in his bedside cabinet for God's sake!

According to Gwen, Merlin was_ particularly sensitive. __"He's a writer you know." _She had admonished many a time, when he had brought up his oh so missed whisky.

Arthur would scream if he heard that one more time. God damn it! Being a sensitive writer didn't make it okay to steal other peoples' liquor!

As far as Arthur had been able to tell Merlin had seemed fine last night when he'd been snogging the face off his, _on..._no sorry_... off again_, lover. His stomach had clenched-with disgust for someone so fickle, he'd told himself-as he watched the ebony head rest on the shoulder of a rather nondescript brunette.

That had been the night before and Arthur was now going after _his_ drink-his thankfully _untouched_ drink. He supposed he should be grateful for nondescript brunettes.

The sound of a door slamming made him wince. Gwen still wasn't talking to him then. It would be another night on the sofa by the looks of things. He tried not to think about just how long it had been since they'd done _anything _on a bed, which didn't involve fighting over the covers, or moaning that the others snoring was too grunty.

"Damn it!" he yelled aloud as the stool wobbled alarmingly and only the relative security of a cupboard handle prevented an untimely descent.

The sound of ringing deepened his scowl and muttering that it had better not be that "thieving_ prick!" _started to ease from the stool. He wasn't scared of heights..._not at all_.  
_  
_"That's a sign of madness you know," a voice murmured from close quarters. With a surprised cry, he lost his footing and just managed to hold off a smacking Glasgow kiss from the unforgiving tiled floor.

The phone was still ringing so he ignored the smirking witch who now sat on his sofa, legs crossed and appearing deceptively prim. _Yeah right.__  
_  
"Arthur here," he stated into the receiver, cradling the handset and trying to ignore the eye-rolling extravaganza that was playing out in front of him.

He forced his attention back to the tinny voice in his ear and then realised who it was with a groan.

"Merlin," he spoke over the other man. "If you want Gwen then you've just missed her." Arthur thrust an impatient hand through his hair, which was frustrating him by flopping into his eyes, but then again it obscured Morgana from view. He let his hand drop by his side. Then turned his back to emphasise his point.

"Erm, actually I just asked you if I left my mobile at the flat the other night..." Merlin tailed off, sounding confused. Nothing new there then.

The soft statement infuriated Arthur as he imagined just _why_ the other man had been distracted enough to forget something so important. Probably involved Will or ...Bill? Then he frowned as he considered that really it wasn't his business. It was just that the other man irritated him in general he decided, for some reason they rubbed each other up the wrong way and there was no point analysing it. Whenever Merlin came round to see Gwen he made a point of asking after Arthur's father, his stepsister Morgana and his work in a twitchy self-conscious way. God the man was always gnawing away at his lip and tugging at that blasted scarf thingy he wore round his neck. How Gwen put up with him Arthur couldn't comprehend. It made Arthur restless just being in the same room.

"Right, whatever, no idea Merlin, but if I find it I'll get Gwen to give you a buzz," he barked, ignoring the delicate cough from behind him, which seemed breathtakingly loud against the sudden silence on the other end of the line.

"Oh, okay." Merlin sounded strange, a little croaky or something Arthur decided. Probably a cold. He frowned as he pondered on just how Merlin could have caught it. He couldn't recall Phil...Bill? coughing or sneezing?

The soft click signalled Merlin had hung up. Arthur frowned as he stared blankly at the receiver. Well maybe he had been a little abrupt but not rude or anything.

"Is that how you talk to your staff sweetie, cos if it is then I'm rather amazed you have any left who are willing to work with you?" Morgana broke the quiet once more, this time with a mocking drawl.

Sinking back into a welcoming armchair was heaven and Arthur closed his eyes to attempt to shut out the reality of his stepsister's presence. Pulling on a lever, he tipped his head back as his lower body rose as he reclined. He sipped from the glass he'd placed on the coffee table central to the living space and decided not to offer any to his guest.

"I'd run myself over with my own limo before employing that..._that artist!_Arthur sniffed his disdain, more for Morgana's benefit than because he actually believed Merlin to be that completely useless. He couldn't see the younger man fitting in at any of his health clubs though. Too skinny.

"You are such a dick sometimes," she snapped.

_No escape then. Not a moment's peace from any of them.__  
_  
"Did you hear me," she commanded.

Arthur blinked and observed the familiar tightening of lips, which was scarily like that of his father when he was pissed off. Yes, Morgana was definitely pissed off; her eyes were doing that squinty evil glare which never failed to make him squirm. What had brought on the death glare though?

Ah, oh he'd forgotten. Damn it!

She was chummy with Merlin.

Gwen, Morgana and Merlin were practically the three musketeers and that meant he'd get grief from his girlfriend too if she heard and Arthur had no doubt, as he faced the look, that she would definitely hear.

Where was_ his _back up? And don't even mention Lance cos there was an AWOL soldier if every there was one, taking off for holidays whenever it suited. Best friend..._my arse_, he couldn't have faced down the gimlet stare which had Arthur pinned to the spot for all the whisky in the world.

_Fuck.__Talking of whisky..._Arthur drained his glass dry and tapped his fingers in agitation against the leather arms of his beloved chair.  
_  
_"Merlin is a sweetheart," she almost growled at him looking like a mother hen getting ready to attack. "He doesn't deserve your crap or frustrated libido being taken out on him!"

_She didn't just say that._

"My what!" he cried, sure his mouth was gaping.

"Your frustrat..."

Raising his hands, as if to ward her off, Arthur got to his feet mumbling about no peace in his own home and went to grab the bottle and what was left of its contents.

Opening it with shaking hands (_furiously_ shaking hands he determined) he poured the gold liquid into a glass tumbler and automatically did the same for the glass Morgana slid before him. She had followed him into the kitchen and was still frowning but seemed concerned now as well. Would wonders never cease?

Arthur was concerned too, he didn't like where this chat was headed. Not one little bit.

"What's wrong Arthur?" she coaxed, raising her glass to clink against his.

He laughed. "What's wrong? You make remarks about my li...lib..." Arthur groaned and slid back into the chair he had recently vacated.

"It's okay if you don't love Gwen anymore you know," Morgana stated.

He stared disbelieving that she had just uttered what she had. She sounded remarkably matter of fact, Arthur felt, for someone who was good friends with the women in question.

"Erm...ah, can we not..." he mumbled. Somehow, she always reduced him to some stuttering idiot, which was very different from his usual demeanour.

"Honestly Arthur you can trust me, I've noticed something hasn't been right for a while and I can't stand seeing you like this."

And just like that, she swung in a different direction and floored him entirely. She also brought home that, _actually yes she did care_. He knew that, but Arthur didn't like to speak about emotions...it was a by-product of being, gold star emotionless bastard, Uther Pendragon's son.

"I know..." he paused to think about just how much to reveal."I think she's been cheating on me."

Now that he'd said it aloud, it seemed more real and he could no longer deny the ring of truth that surrounded his belief. Gwen's behaviour, the constant swing from disinterest to almost sickeningly sweet attention all smacked of guilt. The worst of it was that he didn't care.

No that wasn't entirely true. At one point he had loved, genuinely loved Gwen and he knew that she had felt the same. But now...

"It's true...I don't feel that way about her..." he hung his head and swiftly looked up as a hand descended on his shoulder.

"I'm available if you want to talk." This was a side of Morgana that was rarely shown to anyone other than close friends or family. Morgana cared. She looked out for those she loved and whether that be providing them with an ass kicking when they deserved it or a reassuring hug if needed then she was _there._Arthur was grateful despite knowing that the witch would taunt him later over this when he was once more in control.

For right now he wasn't.

In control of his life or feelings that was.

Then she had to ruin it.

"Merlin is lovely when you get to know him and you know how fussy I am," Morgana murmured. Strangely she was studying some random photo of a friend of Gwen's who Arthur knew for a fact she didn't know.

Well he _supposed..._ but right now, he wanted to talk about something else. Someone other than the long limbed artist who seemed to haunt his life and get on better with Arthur's own girlfriend and step sister than he did himself

He sighed and joined her on the sofa when she patted the empty space to her left. Sinking back to let her wrap him in a one armed hug he missed the reassuring wink turn into a thoughtful frown.


	2. Friends?

To Part 2 :D & thank you to everyone who reviewed much appreciated!

*****

Arthur allowed her a peck on the cheek but then the sneaky madam had him in a hug, squeezing him tight and then she was gone. Morgana didn't do emotion either. The hug had been a rare occurrence. Sighing, he rested against the front door for a bit longer and his fond smile faded away. He knew what he had to do but it wasn't going to be pleasant.

_If you wimp out, I'll know, and you know what will happen?_ Eyebrow practically in her hairline, it was obviously meant to be an extra effective threat. Arthur wasn't about to disagree.

Morgana didn't take sides but it seemed that she hadn't had suspicions about Gwen having a bit on the side. She wasn't the type to keep such a betrayal from her friends never mind her family. Even if it hurt, Morgana would still demand Arthur be told or tell him herself, her strong moral compass wouldn't allow her to behave differently. Sure, she was on occasion a calculating witch, okay on a _lot _of occasions, but she was nothing if not honest. Brutally at times.

He supposed it came from working as an investigative reporter, as she was forever hunting down prey, building cases against them only to deal a decisive final blow which usually resulted in a victorious by-line, Although, if he was honest, she had been much the same gobby cow as a child. She had just developed the ability over the years until she won more arguments than she lost. Grinning he flopped down onto the sofa where he had recently revealed all his doubts to Morgana. It couldn't be that bad if he could smile surely. _Who was he kidding_?

It wasn't proven yet and he _did_ find it difficult to believe that Gwen had managed to outfox his stepsister but... he had this _feeling_, which wouldn't subside that Gwen was hiding something, and that something was an affair.

He put the whisky away and poured a glass of water to attempt to clear his mind in preparation for the upcoming confrontation. It also wouldn't do to be stinking of the stuff so he grabbed some gum from his pocket and began to chew as he mentally ran through what he might say.

He had to find out when Gwen would be back to the flat. No time like the present. Digging his mobile from the back pocket of his denims Arthur flipped it open.

After dialling several times and receiving no reply, he gave up. Swiping fingers through his hair he exhaled sharply, in part relieved. Then he recalled Morgana's words and the awkward silences, arsey moods and the wall of_ something _between him and Gwen.

It had to be soon. It had to be now.

**Hi luv, where r u? nd 2 talk, A x**

He flipped it shut impatiently, fingers drumming a rhythmic beat as his thoughts dwelt on the mess that was his love life.

The doorbell chimed and after a bit, the sound of knocking echoed through the compact flat. Gwen had wanted them to live as normally as possible, which had meant no servants and only three bedrooms. Arthur had insisted on a balcony and leisure facility on site, which after much huffing and puffing had gained her consent. Their apartment was on the top floor and taking the lift down a few floors took you to a basement converted into a fully equipped gym and leisure area for occupants only. His adult life before Gwen had been rather more lavish and in the style of how he'd been brought up as the only son of a billionaire. He liked the fine things but could do without them. The gym was important to keep in shape as running an entire company in the industry meant he had to lead by example. The balcony was essential, as he hated feeling cooped up.

As the person knocked once more the thought occurred that it might be Gwen, she may have lost her key, so he quickly rose and jogged to the front door. He couldn't be bothered with anyone else, especially when he was geared up for _the _chat.

Peering through the hole, he wondered if someone up there had it in for him. He unlocked the door and pulled it open not even attempting a smile.

"Merlin, what can I do for you?"

As he stared at the man in his doorway, Arthur wondered if he knew how much he resembled a rabbit in the headlights. The huge bambi blue eyes, which held fearful apprehension and that damned habit of tentatively nibbling his lower lip. Arthur stepped back to let him inside. He wouldn't be staying long.

"I came round in the off chance that...I mean I know I phoned but...have you found my mobile?" He ended in a rush, staring everywhere but at Arthur.

Was he that scary? Arthur supposed they hadn't spoken much and when they had, it had mainly involved snide remarks about whisky but...

He shut the door, locking it, then turned and walked back down the hall towards the living room.

"Come and have a look," he called over his shoulder.

With any luck, they'd find the blasted thing sharpish and he could get back to..._waiting.__  
_  
He began to pick up cushions and stare under them as if a phone would miraculously appear when he suddenly realised he was the only one searching. Merlin was standing staring at him with an odd expression on his face, almost frozen to the spot.

"Merlin," he prompted impatiently. No answer. "Merlin!" Arthur almost barked at him and in response, the other man snapped to attention and a flush rose in his cheeks. He was so pale, Arthur noted absently, that the slightest colour made the skin stretched taut over cheekbones pinken instantly.

Catching the uncomfortable look on Merlin's face as he continued to stare, Arthur glanced down at the sofa and then gazed blindly around the room.

"So where do you remember having it and I guess I need to know what it looks like?"

"Sure." Merlin buried his hands in his hoodie's pockets and looked at his feet.

Frowning and awaiting a bit more detail than _that _Arthur wondered at the younger man's inability to look anyone in the eye. He had noticed it before, but it hadn't lingered as usually other company had distracted him. Now, however, for the first time it was just them.

"Black and it's a Nokia," Merlin said still seemingly fascinated by the rather nondescript beige carpet. He obviously had a thing for the mundane. God that was _catty_, like something Morgana would say. He was sure the guy who'd been investigating Merlin's tonsils was an alright bloke.

"Well that really narrows it down," Arthur muttered sarcastically. He watched as Merlin's hands escaped their pockets to writhe in some agitated dance at his stomach, twisting and gripping. "Oh calm down Merlin, it'll be recognizable as yours cause it's not ours. No one else seems to have lost a mobile so if you don't find it here now and I do then I'll give you a call."

He thought on that for a moment.

"We have your home number I assume?"

For some reason pink turned to a beaming red and Arthur stared fascinated as a glimpse of blue caught his eyes to dart away once more.

"No, but I can give you it now," Merlin said, smiling shyly at something over Arthur's shoulder.

Arthur wondered at his social ineptitude. Gwen had never mentioned any reason for it. Other than the sensitive writer crap anyway.

"I'm expecting Gwen at any moment so..." the sound of a door slamming cut him off.

He made to turn and walk Merlin to the door to let him out and also greet what must be Gwen (unless it was Morgana - it had been a bad idea to give her a spare key) when something clutched at his sleeve stilling him.

"Please, Arthur..." Merlin appeared terrified but oddly determined. "I'm sorry about the whisky that time..." he stopped abruptly and _yes _stared at his feet. The red had snuck down over his neck and even his ears were beginning to glow.

Arthur felt a wash of something flow through him, which he couldn't pinpoint but may have been compassion. It was rather foreign at any rate in his experience.

"Sure mate," he said gruffly. "We'll forget about it yeah."

Another shy, eager smile. "I...I'd like that," Merlin murmured softly.

They stood in an intense but oddly comfortable silence, eyes locked.

The clatter of keys sounded in the near distance and Merlin's lashes flickered until once more he reverted to staring at his feet. For his part, Arthur felt a momentary sense of disquiet before the sound of Gwen calling his name tore him abruptly back to his surroundings.

"Well, no hard feelings then Merlin." Arthur reached out a hand surprised at how small a gap separated them.

The hand, which reached for his, faltered and then moved to grasp his. As he looked up from their joining, Arthur caught a glimpse of uncertainty, which shadowed the usual brightness of the bright blue orbs.

"My favourite boys," Gwen exclaimed. He forced a smile and pressed his lips to hers as she moved near.

He stepped back and felt Gwen's arm slip around his waist. Arthur thought she looked remarkably cheerful and relaxed.

"I was just going," Merlin mumbled quietly, looking pale and uncomfortable.

Arthur watched with narrowed eyes as she moved to greet Merlin, pecking him on the cheek and begin to chatter about his latest novel. Not with Merlin...surely? _No._ Then there was the fact that Merlin seemed nervous around him. _No_. The man was gay for Pete's sale!

Berating his idiocy Arthur watched as Gwen pecked her friend on the cheek once more in farewell. He felt a sudden urge to do the same but told himself not to be stupid. He was obviously hanging around Lance too much. Arthur secretly believed Lance to be full of shit, but when his friend got on his high horse about his foreign adventures and becoming _cultured_ then there was no shutting him up.

Instead, he settled for reaching out a hand once more and felt satisfaction as he felt the slimmer palm meet his. Merlin's lips curled upward and twin dimples appeared in his cheeks. It was funny, Arthur considered, how they could almost be considered friends and most probably very soon he and Gwen would be at each other's throats. How things changed.

The door closed behind him and Arthur turned to his girlfriend not sure how to begin. Then frowned at her expression.

"You're right," she said determinedly. "We have to talk."


	3. Painful truth

This transformation was..._unexpected. _She had switched, effortlessly it seemed, from attentive friend and girlfriend to _this_... This _being_ that watched him coolly and spoke with a voice, which didn't waver in the slightest.

He recalled the laughing, affectionate Gwen who had pecked his lips and been attentive to their friend (yes Merlin was _their_ friend, Arthur had the suspicion that he would need all the friends he could get). Any doubts over his feeling that something wasn't right vanished, blown away like ash from a snuffed out fire.

"You got my message," he said stating the obvious but not knowing what else to say.

Her raised brow taunted this fact and she turned and walked away obviously expecting him to follow.

Gwen curled up in her favourite chair, red floral and probably Laura Ashley-he couldn't recall. Arthur wondered why his mind was throwing up such random ideas and thoughts. His heart beat fast as he resisted the natural urge to mirror her movements and grab a cushion of his own to hold pressed protectively to his middle. Gwen obviously felt defensive-this didn't surprise Arthur, he was preparing for the worst.

"So talk," he grunted, not wanting to be mature about this or make it easy. He could come straight out and demand to know if she was having an affair but really, despite everything he wasn't quite ready to hear it. He was going to have to but that didn't mean he had to hasten the process.

"Arthur please," she whispered. This surprised him as he had thought her as cool as ice. Looking at her properly and letting his eyes linger on her for the first time since they'd sat down Arthur suddenly realised that he had misread her entirely. What he had read as coldness as she had asked to talk seemed to have been her nerves taking over and causing her to be more formal than usual. How could he forget that when uncertain she had the habit of distancing herself and putting on a cool facade? It was almost as if she was channelling Morgana.

The possibility that she wasn't as unfeeling as he'd suspected did soften the stare he pinned on her slightly. _Slightl_y, mind. It didn't mean she wasn't guilty as hell.

"You know things haven't been right for a while now," she spoke as if stating a fact.

Unfortunately, he agreed and although any other response didn't appeal, he found his head nodding slightly in the affirmative. His eyes never left her but Gwen looked the other way. Arthur was reminded suddenly of another person who had recently occupied this room. They'd stared in fascination at everything but him in much the same way. He wondered in hindsight if it was because Merlin had known something. However, he was being carried away, Gwen was talking, and he really should be listening not speculating on Merlin or on possibilities of _why_ when he had not even heard _it _had happened.

"I'm really sorry Arthur..." she broke into soft sobs and stared at her lap, at the cushion, but not at him.

There was a deathly silence.

"Tell me," he ordered, going against his own desire to avoid the issue but thinking of how much pain he'd already felt and the words Morgana had spoken to him before. She was right and it was better of done and if they were _done_ for real then it was best to end it quickly if not painlessly. It could only get worse unresolved.

"Lance and..."

He didn't let her finish as it all became clear.

"You and Lance," he prompted, aware that hadn't been what she'd said as her head flew up startled to allow their eyes to meet.

"You know," she gasped out, fingers mangling the cushion until it bore little resemblance to what it had been.

Arthur wondered how long this was going to go on for, this edging carefully around the issue not broaching the subject head on. He was as bad as she was, he admitted it, but for different reasons. Oh, they were both afraid no doubt but he wasn't sure if she was looking for forgiveness or wanting to leave him.

"Just tell me Gwen," he commanded. "You've been having an affair haven't you," he prodded. "With my best friend."

His voice hadn't risen, his gaze never wavered and he watched almost dispassionately as she flushed and looked away. Inside his emotions were a swirling mess.

Her silence seemed an answer of sorts and they sat for what felt like hours just...sitting, saying nothing.

"Get out," he muttered.

Oh, she could look at him _now._ Arthur was the one to avoid her gaze and obvious agitation. That wasn't his problem.

"No, we need to talk about this," she mumbled. "We never meant to hurt you but we couldn't help..."

"God Gwen, shut up!" he roared now and stood, beginning to march back and forth across the living room carpet. He wished it had been wood so he could have heard the sound of his anger, just to let it all out to his satisfaction.

"I'm sorry love, but you know things haven't been right and we weren't happy."

He knew she was right but _Gods_ he wouldn't be telling her that. Deep down he knew that he wasn't _in_ love with her even although he still loved her dearly. Well maybe not at this exact minute but his heart would get over this before his ego did. That was the truth and maybe she was right to move on but she could have had the decency to break up with him first or at least talked about their problems. He had a sudden thought.

"How long?" It was probably masochistic but he needed to know.

Now _she _was biting her lip. He recalled Merlin biting his lower lip to an agitated red swollen wreck.

"Does anyone else know?"

The cushion was practically part of her body now as she clenched tight and he observed her white knuckles in suspicion. Was she protecting someone? Had someone...a friend? known? Then again, Lance was meant to be a friend. Arthur felt like an idiot as he recalled the trips away, he wondered if they had been with...

"No, we told no one, didn't want to involve our friends and we were ashamed."

Arthur watched her knowing that she was a decent person, seeing her sorrow at hurting him but not giving a damn. Anger was rushing to the fore. They had made a fool of him.

"How long?" he asked once more in a tightly controlled voice.

Her head hung down, and her wavy, brown hair swept in the same direction, unbound today. He had always liked her hair loose.

"Not long," she said hesitantly. "Since the summer."

_The summer_.

_Six months ago._It sank in slowly and he tried not to picture the pair of them, two of the people closest to him, together...in love?

"Do you want to be with him?" he asked.

Gwen gazed at him sadly, which infuriated him. He didn't want pity for Pete's sake!

"Yes."

One word to signal the end of an eight-year relationship. They'd been together since they were eighteen and in the beginning, the world had been their oyster and now...

Arthur looked at her, really looked at her. He saw the small worry lines, which hadn't been there before, and the nerves, which caused her hands to tremble. Most of all he saw the concern for him and he didn't quite forgive but he felt that one day perhaps he could. If he had been fathoms in love that wouldn't have been a possibility. He had been content with ambling comfortably along but she hadn't, she'd needed more. That was the main difference between them. Gwen always spoke about how she'd wanted to find someone to love, to be with and he'd in the start felt honoured that that was him. Now he wondered if he shouldn't have been feeling similar things at the time. Sure, he'd loved her but it hadn't been as she'd described and he'd never made her look like that. He wondered if she was thinking of Lance. She caught his narrow look and quickly controlled her expression to one of repentance.

Gwen wasn't a bad person, Arthur knew with certainty, but she had gone after what she'd wanted when not content with the status quo. He hadn't been so brave. It was as Morgana was always muttering, he was too noble, always on his white charger and looking out for everyone else. _Arthur always comes last _was what she was wont to say, rolling her eyes and commanding that he _live _his life.

He had always laughed, thinking what else was he doing _but_ living, but now... It seemed he'd had eight wasted years.

A gentle hand touched his jaw and he realised that he'd been sitting in silent contemplation and that the hand belonged to Gwen who appeared very concerned.

Not wasted years he realised with sudden clarity but they could have been better spent. Perhaps he could find someone some day that looked at him the way he'd seen Gwen do when she'd thought of Lance. Maybe he could feel that way about another too.

It had all been rather clinical in the end. She'd left to go to _him _and after a speedy peck to the cheek and fleeting hug; she'd left but not before he'd seen her brush wetness from her eyes. He'd been surprised to see tracks of a similar wetness on his cheeks as he'd walked numbly to the bathroom and stared in the mirror. His blonde hair was limp, and hung over his eyes, desperately needing a cut. At least it partially concealed his eyes which, although the same vivid blue, were barely recognisable as he considered their redness and shine. After splashing his face with cold water he'd gone to sprawl on the bed in one of the spare rooms-he couldn't sleep in theirs. If it could be called that now.

Insistent beeping had frustrated him until he flipped open his phone to see his inbox full of messages from Morgana.

Scanning through them he almost smiled, well his lips curved but his heart wasn't in it.

They went from politely hesitant (he couldn't believe that she had texted _those_) to _bloody Arthur Pendragon would you answer my freaking text now!_He needed her but not yet, he wanted to sleep. He would then need a shower, a fresh start.

Someone was in the flat. He heard movement from somewhere. Maybe Gwen was home. Lifting his head Arthur stared to see where he was. He was lying in the spare room on a Peter Pan quilt, which was usually the pride and joy of Gwen's nephew Jamie.

Then it all came flooding back.

Rising gingerly, he groaned, and then in panic checked his phone. Sunday! Thank God. No work today.

Arthur left the room and padded down the hall to discover the source of the noise. He hoped it was Morgana, he doubted it would be Gwen. The thought occurred it might be burglars. Nah, his flat had amazing security. _Still._He slowly looked around the doorway, which led into the living area and in relief saw Morgana floating about.

Was she _cleaning? Morgana?_She must have heard him for she swivelled around, duster in hand looking for the entire world like a domestic goddess.

"Morning sleeping beauty how goes it this morning?" she asked cheerily.

He watched in bemusement as she poured him a fresh mug of coffee from the percolator and ushered him to sit at the small breakfast bar.

"Am I dreaming, cause I think I'm seeing things?" he muttered, half believing his own weak joke.

Morgana pouted, gave him a reassuringly normal glare, then went to pour her own coffee and joined him.

"So Pendragon, how are you bearing up?"

He was glad at least in this she was being normal. He was just relieved she wasn't wearing an apron.

"Got some sleep, so not too bad thanks," he sighed and swept his hand wearily through his hair.

She watched his movements with narrowed eyes.

"I could kill her for this," she growled.

Arthur appreciated the sentiment but knew he had to put her right.

"I'm not pretending it doesn't hurt or that I agree with how they did this but..."

Morgana prompted him. "But..."

"It's for the best in the long run, we were living more as friends than anything and I wasn' t happy. I think it's rather obvious that she wasn't either." Arthur smiled ironically.

Morgana patted him on the arm absently.

"Today you're coming out with me," she ordered. "I'm meeting up with Merlin for our usual Sunday Muffin meet."

He snickered. "Muffin meet?"

God her elbows were sharp.

"Yes you lout, just cause you're not a sophisticated male doesn't mean others aren't."

"Merlin...sophisticated?" he remembered not to snort just in time. Her glare helped him with that.

"Just cause your idea of fine dining is a big Mac. Some people actually like going to nice cafes with their friends to enjoy each other's company."

Message received loud and clear; don't piss off Morgana by insulting Merlin.

He guessed that Merlin wasn't so bad. He had seemed almost vulnerable when at the flat the other day. It brought out Arthur's protective tendencies. He could see it did the same for Morgana.

Merlin hadn't pissed him off as much as usual. Maybe because he wasn't spending the entire time snogging some bloke called Bill? Whatever. It was just plain rude to do that in someone else's home.

He grabbed the towel she threw at him.

"Shoo, go wash, you stink," she ordered and grabbed his mug before he could protest. "We are meeting him in an hour and I'm not being late so move it!"

Muttering about bossy cows, he regardless obeyed. It was the only sensible thing to do.

Throwing on a pair of jeans and cashmere red sweater he dragged a comb through his hair, watching in exasperation as it curled at his nape. Rolling his eyes at the mirror, he heard Morgana shout yet again to hurry up, and after one more eye roll, he moved sharpish. He had a fine sense of self-preservation.

He found her in the living room, standing in front of the large ornate gold framed mirror, and slicking on a vibrant red lipstick. After giving her long, wavy black hair a few drags of her brush, she announced them ready to go.

Locking the door to the apartment Arthur smiled as he heard her grumble as she made her way gingerly over the late November snow, which had recently begun to transform to hardened ice.

He was lucky to have her he acknowledged. He guessed he was also lucky to have Merlin, what with him being Gwen's friend too.

Arthur hastened to help, wrapping an arm around her waist to steady her. Morgana smiled and told him he was paying for the three of them. For the first time he thought _perhaps everything might turn out all right. _


	4. Muffin meet

Hi. sorry this chapter is a bit shorter but it seemed to end nicely for me. I will try not to leave it hanging for too long :D

Thank you for reviews.

*****

Arthur looked at the location for _muffin meet _then looked down at what he was wearing. He hoped his name would let him stay where anonymity would have most likely had him thrown out on his ear. _She could have told him_, he'd had visions of some local bistro, what with it being Merlin they were meeting. Sure, the man was loaded what with being a successful author but he didn't exactly emit an aura of someone who liked to display or revel in his wealth. In that way they were alike, although in his case Arthur still liked his tailoring to be to perfection and took pride in his appearance. Merlin often resembled someone who'd been dragged through a jumble sale and came out wearing a random assortment of clothes.

He held the door and watched in amusement as she sashayed past and was immediately surrounded by willing males. A slight exaggeration but the two men subtly fighting to lead her to an available table were not a figment of his imagination.

Studying his surroundings, he really doubted this was most people's idea of a cafe. The Dorchester Hotel was one of London's best and though not his usual style (he preferred low key) was an undeniably stylish and elegant place to dine. The promenade was famous and suited Morgana to a 'T' with its green and brown hues, which created a warm, inviting atmosphere. Trust her to choose decor to best display her own appearance. She was wearing a matching two-piece skirt suit in a flattering shade of gold.

Then he recalled that he was paying. _Apparently._

He smirked as he realised Morgana was directing one of the men, whilst the other pouted discarded. Arthur soon saw where she was headed as his view cleared and he saw the back of a familiar ebony head. The hair curled at the back over a lily-white nape and from the looks of it, he was wearing one of his usual checked shirts and a neckerchief thingy. Some things never changed.

Arthur quickened his step as he watched Morgana greet the other man in warm delight, pecking him on both cheeks. He watched as Merlin withdrew from his seat to give her a hug, and grinned as she shooed Merlin away. You didn't do hugs at the Dorchester it seemed. If you were Morgana anyway. Either this wasn't one of their usual haunts or Merlin just kept forgetting not to latch on for a hug. He guessed it was the latter, especially going by the welcome she'd received by the staff.

Merlin had seen him. Oh, he looked surprised. Arthur eyed Morgana narrowly but she was studiously avoiding his stare.

"Merlin," he acknowledged stiffly. Shaking the hand that was offered, he moved to sit beside Morgana and opposite from the other man.

This was awkward. Thank God, for Morgana who started chattering non-stop about how lovely the afternoon tea was and took control by placing their order.

"I was sure you wouldn't mind Arthur coming along today," she told Merlin, who simply smiled nervously in response.

"No it's nice to have someone else here to talk to when you're too busy ogling the waiters to bother," he said and smirked at Arthur.

Arthur ignored the outraged huff beside him and grinned in disbelief. Was this the same person who barely strung two words together?

It seemed though that he'd also shocked himself for Merlin reverted to studying his fingernails. There was the smallest upturn to his lips though. Arthur wondered if there was more to this man, than met the eye.

Merlin waited until Morgana had left to visit the ladies before making his awareness of Arthur's situation known.

"I…I'm sorry about you and Gwen," he said softly, looking uncertain but sympathetic.

Arthur didn't want to talk about it but nodded at him and smiled tightly.

"Thanks." He decided to leave it at that and was glad when the other man seemed to take the hint. Then he wondered. "Did Morgana tell you…" he expected that had been the case but there was a slight doubt.

"Yes, she told me briefly when she first arrived so I wouldn't put my foot in it." Merlin blushed suddenly as if realising he'd given too much information. "I didn't know, you know, before…" Merlin seemed anxious that this be clear as wide blue eyes met Arthur's intent watchful stare.

Deciding to let the other man off and feeling once more strangely protective Arthur nodded and saw Merlin visibly relax. He watched in amusement as the other man devoured the last of a raspberry muffin. How in the hell did he remain so skinny?

Then pale, slender fingers were collecting stray crumbs left on the plate and licked off in obvious pleasure. Arthur was horrified to feel himself growing aroused by the sight of the red tongue darting out to capture the traces of muffin. This wasn't on. He'd broken up with Gwen just the other day, now wasn't the time for his body to remind him he hadn't had sex in a while and that he liked boys too.

"So Merlin, how is your new book developing?" he asked, pushing all inappropriate thoughts from his mind and trying to remember what genre Merlin wrote.

His sudden interest seemed a surprise to Merlin who after initially looking at him doubtfully began to eagerly explain that he was writing a follow up to his fantasy novel '**in somnis veritas'**

Arthur struggled to recall his Latin, he'd not read the book so couldn't guess at its meaning from the content.

"What does it mean?" he asked in honest curiosity.

Merlin seemed to hesitate but he smiled after a moment and mumbled that it meant _In dreams there is truth._ Arthur resolved to buy a copy and try to gain insight into this man from his work. They sat in an easy silence after that and sipped at their drinks.

Morgana rejoined them, looking self-satisfied about something.  
"Not killed each other then," she said mockingly.

He shot her a nasty look but was relieved to see Merlin not appear in the least affected by her outspokenness. He was obviously used to her ways.

Arthur enjoyed himself, surprisingly. Morgana he was used to and expected to appreciate her acerbic wit but in Merlin's case…well that had been a surprise. He'd opened up more, obviously was very fond of Morgana, and relaxed enough around her to be able to banter with ease. In turn, she gave him the same treatment she dealt out to everyone else but with softness to her expression, which Arthur had not often seen. They had distracted him from his woes admirably, and apart from a few moments of doom and gloom like when he'd observed a woman who looked like his ex from the rear it had been fine. Arthur was glad she'd dragged him out.

After they'd talked themselves out and said their goodbyes, Arthur helped Morgana with her coat and watched Merlin's retreating form thoughtfully.

"Watch it before your eyes pop out," she cackled, brushing imaginary crumbs from the expensive material.

He frowned at her. "Don't be idiotic love, I'm just pleasantly surprised. It's nice to see that he's capable of something other than timid looks and thieving behaviour."

For a moment she looked unsure and then seemed to decide against something. He watched her lips tighten as if fighting to remain quiet. Very unlike her.

"Was there something you wanted to share?" he asked. "I don't want you to hurt yourself."

He had no doubt she'd have whacked him on the head if not for their location. She settled for a first class eye roll, one of her best.

"Come back to mine," she stated in a serious tone. "I want to tell you something important."

Intrigued and welcoming the idea of avoiding his lonely flat, Arthur nodded.


	5. Enlightenment

Hi here's another part for you guys, just wrote it. It's for Merthurtilidie (hope u like) in particular in response to her last review but thanks to everyone who has bothered to read x

*****

"Go get comfy whilst I get us a drink," Morgana told him and left him alone in her beautifully decorated living room.

He looked around and went for the least girly looking chair, which although bright pink at least wasn't covered in a floral pattern like the sofa. Her flat always surprised him with its modern flair and vivid colours. He would have expected her to go for tasteful shades and classic pieces but as she often said_, it wasn't good to be too obvious._ Morgana liked to keep people on their toes.

She came back through balancing a tray, which held a bottle of claret and two long stemmed glasses. Arthur got to his feet to assist, smiling as she impatiently brushed his hands away. Morgana loved playing host even if that only meant getting Arthur a drink.

"What's this all about?" he asked.

She glanced up in the middle of uncorking the bottle, hair falling over her face. Arthur tried to analyse her mood but she was remaining frustratingly difficult to read.

She filled each glass then reached in her handbag and withdrew an elastic band with which to fasten up her hair.

"That's better, it was bugging the heck out of me," she announced with a grin.

"Don't change the subject," he protested. "You asked me to come here and you obviously have something on your mind…or you did?" he prodded, more curious than ever.

She sighed loudly and took a large gulp of wine.

"Okay, okay, I'll tell you," she grumbled. "It's not something you can share with anyone else and you can't tell Merlin I told you," she said sternly.

Morgana looked deadly serious and he had seen how much she valued Merlin's friendship.

"Promise," she ordered.

Arthur wondered what the blazes it was that was so important.

"Of course, I won't say a word," he answered beginning to feel a bit apprehensive.

"I'm only telling you so that you understand him a bit better and don't inadvertently do or say anything that'll hurt him," she warned. "You may end up hanging around more with him than previously," she explained.

He hadn't planned it for definite but he also couldn't deny that the other man had surprised him and together the three of them had had a great time. Arthur felt a little hurt by the insinuation that he would hurt Merlin, but fair play he wasn't always the most sensitive person or so Gwen and Morgana had always complained. Huh. Pot. Kettle.

She curled up in a corner of the floral monstrosity and cradled her glass, lost in thought.

"Gwen and I have known Merlin for three years now, did you know that?" she began looking at him expectantly.

Sure, of course he knew, he remembered clearly Gwen introducing him to the lanky, too thin writer at a Christmas party her work was holding. His ex worked for the publishing company, which had published Merlin's novel. At least Arthur thought there had only been one book. She had clicked with Merlin and introduced him to Morgana and Arthur. It had been Morgana who had taken to him. To be honest he had made excuses at first to avoid socialising with them as a group and before long wasn't included. He had told Gwen he felt uncomfortable as they all worked in similar industries and had a lot in common whereas he ran a leisure company. She had accepted his reason with a disbelieving look but had dropped the issue. In truth, he had felt jealous of the ease with which Merlin mixed with the two women in his life. It was ironic really; he should have been watching Lance the whole time. The person who he'd gone and moaned to and whom had been sympathetic to his plight. What a joke!

"Yes I knew," he replied when she continued to watch him awaiting an answer.

"What you don't know was that Merlin was in a serious accident mere months before he met us. He was in a collision with a lorry and lay in a coma while the doctors had no clue if he'd wake up," she said quietly.

Arthur felt alarm at the thought of Merlin, who seemed so fragile, crumpled up and lifeless.

"Physically, in terms of broken bones, he was unharmed but his coma really worried the doctors as they had no idea if he…" Her voice broke a little but she continued clearly determined to finish. "Well you can guess at what they worried over."

Arthur understood. The brain was a tricky thing and there was always uncertainty over what condition a person could wake up. Although obviously Merlin was now fine so he wondered what else Morgana had to say. Not that the crash wasn't important but somehow he felt there was more.

She swallowed visibly which strengthened his belief.

"Merlin was upset when he was driving his car. Oh don't get me wrong," she said as she saw his questioning look, "the accident wasn't his fault."

"What then?" he prodded.

"He had been escaping something…someone." Morgana gulped down more wine.

Arthur felt a tinge of unease. This didn't sound like it would be pleasant or easy to hear.

"For a couple of years he'd been in an abusive relationship and that day he'd cut all ties and made the move to leave," she whispered as if that made it easier to say.

Fury at the thought of someone hurting Merlin hit like a bolt from the blue. Never mind that hundreds of times he'd cursed the man's name. That was different, he no longer felt that way and regardless would never have actually hurt the guy. This _person_, by the sounds of it, had broken Merlin's spirit and hurt him dreadfully. He wasn't sure if he wanted to hear more and if her expression was any judge then Morgana didn't particularly want to tell it.

"I won't tell you details, I'm breaking Merlin's trust to a degree as it is but I have his best interests at heart," she explained.

He knew all too well how she believed she could organise everyone else's lives to her satisfaction. Her intentions were pure but he also agreed that Merlin would probably be furious if he knew what he was hearing. If he _did_ furious.

"He doesn't always react well around men, they can still make him jumpy and it takes a while for him to trust. He needs to be around someone a lot before at ease."

Morgana raised an eyebrow and he took her point. Merlin would obviously be nervous and tense around him if he never took the time to get to know him and barked at him when in his company.

"Why didn't you tell me before," he asked. If he'd known, he would have done what she wanted from him now-make Merlin feel more at ease.

"Like I say it's not my secret but we may be spending more time together so…"

Of course, he would try to be more patient although judging by today Merlin was perhaps beginning to feel more relaxed around him. That could have been due to Morgana's presence though. Arthur suddenly realised that he wanted to be there for Merlin as a support in much the same way as Morgana.

Then before he knew it, he was saying the sentiment aloud.

Morgana was beaming approvingly and Arthur did the only thing he could-gulped down more wine.

She steered the conversation away from Merlin and thankfully didn't press for details about his split from Gwen although he could see she was bursting to hear it all.

He was considering getting ready to head home when a thought occurred.

"What about Bill…Phil? The boyfriend," he finally muttered.

Morgana frowned.

"Will's a nice guy but he's not doing Merlin any favours. He won't talk to him about what happened and Merlin keeps it all inside around him." She grumbled. "Merlin won't admit it," Her pout suggested she'd tried to change that. "But he is playing it safe with the guy and with his feelings."

Arthur considered this.

"You think Merlin doesn't love him?"

"Love!" she hooted. "No chance, playing it safe all the way but to be honest I can understand why after all he's been through and I don't want to push too hard."

Arthur nodded seriously concerning her comments but rolled his eyes at her belief that she knew it all. Maybe Merlin did love this guy, maybe he didn't, one thing was clear he needed support but not someone trying to fix him.

He would help as much as he could. Gods knew he had to occupy his thoughts and time somehow. It would be good to focus on something…someone else.


	6. New beginnings

Standing at Merlin's front door, he wondered if he should retrace his steps and forget the decision to pursue a friendship with the man. Arthur had never needed to be the pursuer in the past as generally having a father who could buy most other parents at least a hundred times over was enough of an icebreaker. It did bear considering though the genuine nature of those relationships. Merlin was many things but he didn't strike Arthur as a user.

Held in his left hand was the excuse he was going with for being here and hopefully he would get past the door. Morgana had warned against being pushy. Arthur had almost perspired with laughter, even her attacking him with a newspaper (a bloody broadsheet the bitch) hadn't stopped his breathless gasps. He thought his point had been made as she'd obviously cottoned on to his meaning instantly. Pushy indeed.

She had offered to join him but he felt that it was important to go alone if Merlin was to believe he was genuine. Arthur didn't want to unsettle or frighten him and he would base his actions on the other man's reactions to his presence.

He heard the sound of approaching footsteps and took several deep breaths. He wasn't _nervous _was he? If honest, he could admit he was in part but what made him remain where he stood was more akin to eagerness. He wanted to be there for Merlin, that protective urge came naturally now when he thought of the other man. He just wished he'd known before and not been quite such an arse.

Arthur didn't like...no, he _hated_ bullies, those who picked on others weaker than themselves when in fact they were the weaker party. It had been a hard lesson he'd learnt at school where he'd discovered just how much harm it could do. On that occasion, _he_ had been the bully. It had taken some tough talking from his godfather to realise the error of his ways. His father had done nothing, he'd always promoted that his son be a carbon copy of himself. I.e. a bully. Gaius was different, he valued people and took advantage of his respected reputation in the area of medicine to help others. When he'd heard of how his godson had picked on a youngster, barely eleven, at his boarding school with a group of sycophants egging him on. Well, hitting the roof didn't adequately describe his reaction.

He didn't have long to ponder as the door swung open to reveal the man he'd come to see. Arthur at first registered bare toes, which wriggled over a soft mocha carpet, and then his observation took in that Merlin was wearing pyjamas and had wicked bed hair. He really hoped he hadn't interrupted anything, it was bloody 3 o'clock in the afternoon. The thought made him feel a bit nauseous.

"Arthur."

One word could tell a lot by its intonation. Arthur read mostly shock, a little embarrassment and looking up forgot all that as he registered the man had been sobbing his heart out.

His nerves flew out the window. Arthur felt a surge of something, which he found it difficult to put a name to, but could easily describe its effects. Racing pulse, tightened muscles and a basic need to comfort. That rather summed it up.

Arthur forgot about the mobile in his grip, and remembering that he shouldn't startle Merlin, gently asked if he was okay. Clearly, he wasn't at all okay but more elaborate words failed to come and as long as the meaning was clear.

"No, not really," Merlin husked. Arthur frowned at further tangible evidence that he'd been crying or perhaps shouting at someone.

_Proceed with caution_. It seemed apt despite his hearing it in relation to an injured dog on _TV Pets_. It had been Gwen's favourite show.

"What's happened," he probed carefully. "I can try to help." Using the word _try_ went against his nature but Arthur was aware he'd always behaved like an arrogant twat around Merlin.

Merlin looked like he was preparing to shut the door so he quickly held up a hand.

"Please Merlin, I just want to help and I'll not say anything unless you want me to," he promised, hoping he could keep his word.

"You'll not give your tuppence worth?" Merlin squawked and stared at Arthur in disbelief.

He was pleased to see the slightest hint of humour in Merlin's expression and tried not to take offence at his comment. Good thing Morgana wasn't here to add her tuppence worth. Wait... _tuppence?__  
_  
"What century are you from using words like _tuppence_, you idiot!" he exclaimed, then could have cut out his tongue and thrown himself into boiling lava for an encore. Arthur was sure he looked horrified. He was feeling it. _God above! _he just couldn't play nice.

For some reason this seemed to amuse Merlin no end and it was only after five minutes Arthur realised the laughter was becoming borderline hysterical. Taking charge, ignoring earlier plans not to, Arthur slowly captured a slim hand and led Merlin from the doorway and shut the door. With him inside.

"What do you...you think," Merlin stuttered, trying to pull away.

Arthur instantly let go and stepped back with his hands aloft. "I'm sorry but you need someone and I only want to help." He tried to convey his sincerity as he met wary blue eyes.

"Fine," Merlin huffed, and turned to walk down a long corridor before turning to the left and disappearing from view. Not once had he looked back.

Arthur smirked. He was impressed with the snotty look that had been darted his way before the final flounce. Morgana couldn't have done better. Sure he was jittery but it seemed Arthur wasn't ultimately someone Merlin feared. Unfortunately it also didn't mean he was someone the man _liked. _He approached the room which Merlin had entered and walked right in.

Until now Arthur hadn't taken in any of the flat at all, his attention having been on Merlin. Now he let his eyes sweep the room as he gave the other man time to adjust to his presence. He was pleasantly surprised, especially considering how dodgy the man's dress sense was. His surprise must have shown and his glances couldn't have been as sly as he hoped.

"Morgana helped but I am actually capable of using a roller and slapping on some paint," Merlin grumbled in a voice which cracked slightly. Arthur's mouth tightened as he wondered why.

He stood, hovering in the doorway, and gazed at the man cosied up in a blue leather armchair with a humungous cushion covering the bulk of his body. Merlin looked about six years old with his mussed hair and dishevelled appearance. The way he clutched at the cushion tore at Arthur's heart.

He slipped off his trainers and sat down on a chair which sat angled toward Merlin's seat.

Arthur finally recalled the mobile phone as he adjusted his body to find a comfortable position.

"Here," he said and handed it over towards the other man.

Merlin stared at his outreached hand, making no move to take it. Arthur frowned, it may not be Merlin's actual phone but he'd bought the best black, Nokia mobile he could find.

"_Please_, I want you to have it," he pleaded.

"That's the second time you've said that," Merlin murmured, looking at him as if he were some curious being to study.

Arthur was baffled. "What?"

Merlin smiled but shook his head. Arthur noticed though that his expression had softened slightly.

The man was like a girl in his ways, continually confusing him!

They sat in silence, neither willing to initiate conversation.

Until.

"Why are you here?" Merlin asked.

Arthur thought he sounded exhausted.

"To give you this," he said and got to his feet. Arthur placed the phone on top of the cushion before making his way back to his seat.

"What else?" Merlin asked.

What else? Arthur wasn't sure himself. What else?

"I enjoyed spending time with you and Morgana the other day and hoped you might be willing to..." he paused.

Merlin snorted. "Be friends," he derided.

Arthur froze, mortified.

Merlin seemed to realise his mistake. "God you actually meant...I mean sorry...I mean..._ why?"_Did he not think he was _worthwhile _enough to be someone's friend? Did he _really_ get surprised or not expect others to want to be with him?

God if he could get hold of the utter _bastard _who'd...

"Really," he said and smiled.

For the first time he saw a genuinely warm and delighted smile light up Merlin's face. Arthur felt warmer than he had in a long time.

Arthur got up and made excuses that he needed the bathroom. He waited a bit longer than usual before re-entering the room and sitting down. He waited.

"Will," Merlin whispered.

Arthur had to strain to hear but hear he did. Will! The boyfriend. What had he done to get Merlin in such a state?

Still he had to at least try to stay calm. Thank the Lord Morgana wasn't here for she wasn't exactly known for her calm objectivity. Well where family members and bastards who hurt them were concerned.

"We broke up."

Arthur heard that fine but was a bit confused. According to Morgana it hadn't been a deep meaningful relationship. It was possible that she didn't know everything. Ssh whisper it.

"Is that what's upset you?" he asked in concern. He was determined to be a good friend.

"Well no, it was my idea," Merlin said in the same low voice.

Well now he was past confused and heading into not a fucking clue land. Usually he'd have lost patience by this point, however Arthur only had to look at the vulnerability which radiated off the man to curb this inclination.

"We had an argument about..." Merlin blushed scarlet. "...about sex."

"It wasn't good?" Arthur really didn't want to know or picture the two...he felt a tightening in his chest at the thought.

"No!" Merlin exclaimed.

Arthur frowned, a little disgruntled by this fervent response.

"Well yes."

Arthur stared and in response Merlin blushed.

"It just didn't happen," he said. "I couldn't relax enough after..." Here he paused and Arthur wondered if perhaps he knew what Merlin was trying to explain but couldn't fully say.

Merlin didn't trust Will enough to put himself in the vulnerable position which sex required. Arthur almost growled as he wondered if it was because of the way he had been treated in the past. It seemed likely.

"Last night he tried, we tried, but..." Merlin sighed. "It was never going to happen. He was more like a friend and even then he didn't make me feel safe."

As he suspected. Arthur tried to smile reassuringly.

"Why am I telling you all this," Merlin wondered aloud.

"Cause I made you and because _we are friends_," he spoke matter of fact, allowing the other man no room for denial.

"Okay."

That was it, that was all it took? Arthur grinned in response.

"Okay," he parroted back.

Merlin rose from the chair and stretched his back which produced a loud crack.

"I'm going to take a shower," he said. " I must look a fright."

"You do," Arthur agreed. Then burst out laughing as the other man tossed his head and swept from the room. He could see why Merlin and Morgana were friends.

He reached down the side of his chair and grinned as his fingers fluttered over a familiar knob. His legs rose abruptly and with a contented sigh Arthur lounged back on the recliner.

"Make yourself comfy and I'll put on something to eat!" Merlin called from somewhere in the flat.

Arthur reached for a T.V. control and flicked through the channels until he found highlights of a football game he'd missed.


	7. Getting to know you

Thanks guys for the reviews! Love to you all. I hope you like this chapter. M/A is drawing slightly nearer. Sorry I've not replied to everyone but I appreciate your comments very much.

*****

"Arthur!"

He got to his feet when he heard Merlin call. Arthur walked over to an antique wooden shelving unit and slotted a hardback book back into place. He stared at it with a contemplative frown. Wandering back out into the hallway, he looked around at various doors and wondered where the other man was. He'd been gone for about fifteen minutes, presumably to shower, then get food.

"Where are you," he shouted. Shaking his head when there was no reply he tried the door immediately in front of him. A bathroom. Nice but no Merlin. The window had steamed up and there was a warm dampness lingering in the air.

Leaving the bathroom, he was preparing to shout once more, when unexpectedly a sleek, wet, ebony head popped round a doorway.

"Bloody hell you gave me a fright!" Arthur exclaimed. Then he looked more closely, lips twitching. "You look like a baby seal with your hair all slicked back."

Arthur laughed as Merlin put every effort into appearing highly offended. He failed miserably, looking even more of a child, all freshly scrubbed and innocent. He wanted to wrap him up in a big hug.

He noticed that Merlin seemed to be wearing some sort of towelling robe; he could see the top edges wrapped fluffily around the other man's neck. Arthur almost snickered as he considered that he was seeing Merlin without a neckerchief. He wouldn't have bet against the man wearing one whilst he showered.

"You called," he reminded.

"Oh right, I tried to call again but it hurt too..." Merlin swallowed and Arthur followed the movement all the while trying to control his temper.

"I could strangle that man!" he muttered. He glanced up and was horrified to see that all the pinkness of his shower had leeched from Merlin's face to leave it an even more pasty white than usual.

"What's wrong?" he asked, worried. It could be that Merlin was thinking of Will and it had upset him... Somehow, Arthur felt it was more than that.

Merlin was fidgeting with his collar, tugging the neckline upward with unsteady fingers. He visibly collected himself before muttering that he'd better go dress.

"Sure," Arthur said, "Was there something you wanted though?"

Merlin produced a travesty of a smile. "Um...yeah. If you could put on some fresh coffee and get ingredients out for a Spanish omelette."

He laughed in genuine amusement this time when Arthur's response was an arched brow. "Okay get out some cutlery and I'll do the rest in a sec."

Arthur stood there for minutes after the other man had gone; wondering what had brought that look to Merlin's face. It was frustrating to know that something was wrong but not be able to help. He felt so impotent!

He stopped glaring at the door and then realised he had no idea where the kitchen was. Ah well, better get looking or Merlin would think he was completely useless.

After a successful search, where Arthur had not only found the kitchen but also set the cosy pine table, he sat down and waited for Merlin. He thought of 'in somnis veritas',which he hadn't flicked through completely as he would need more time. Merlin was the author; the thought amazed Arthur, especially as _he _didn't possess that type of creative talent. His abilities were of a more practical nature. Merlin had told him about his book at the Dorchester but it was more tangible seeing it in person.

In fact he'd only read a brief summary on the page but it was enough to understand that the novel was telling the story of a man who lived in present times who dreamt of a past life. The main character struggled to make a life that he was content with, that lived up to his life from his dreams. Arthur thought it sounded sad but had decided to pick up a copy from a local bookshop when he got the chance. He could have asked Morgana but he liked to keep some parts of his life secret if possible.

Whistling sounded from the near distance and presently Merlin appeared, wearing navy tight jeans, and a striped red and blue hooded top. He was bare footed. Arthur was amused to see a vivid red scarf tied nonchalantly around his neck. Not exactly the height of fashion but comfort casual seemed an accurate description. Mind you, he could talk with his ancient combats and Rugby shirt. Yes but _he _could rise to the occasion when it was required. He laughed when he recalled a party where he and Merlin had been guests of a mutual acquaintance. The other man had worn a velvet black dinner jacket over a pair of black jeans. Individual? Yes. However, when you considered it was a black tie event and everyone else was wearing suits... Arthur had overheard him mutter to Gwen "but I'm wearing a black tie!"

Her answer had been along the lines of "yes dear but that's a neckerchief not a tie."

He had pouted and been subdued after that although Arthur had noticed later that Morgana had cornered him and seemed in the process of cheering him up. Then again, _she_ was _also_ highly individual. That was one way of putting it. Arthur smirked, laughing aloud this time.

"Something funny?"

Arthur looked up from an analysis of pinkish toes to find Merlin staring at him curiously.

"Oh, no...sorry" his lips twitched. "Just remembering something," he added rather vaguely.

Merlin rolled his eyes.

Ah hah! One day he would enter a room and find Merlin and Morgana having an eye rolling contest or her saying something like, "No, not like _that _Merlin, roll them like _this _for maximum effect!" or "_This_ really annoys Arthur!"

"You hungry?" Merlin was asking but it seemed to be rhetorical for he was removing at least five eggs from their shells and breaking them into a bowl. Arthur wasn't complaining he was starved but he should probably help.

"Sit back down," Merlin ordered. He stared pointedly until Arthur found himself obeying. It wasn't much of a protestation for he found he enjoyed watching the other man work. Oh, he was definitely all fingers and thumbs just like Arthur but somehow he had this enthusiasm which was catching.

Merlin opened a tin of peas, which he added to the mix and then took some plump, ripe tomatoes from a well-stocked fridge, which he began to chop. Arthur was fascinated. Sure Gwen had sometimes cooked and she was great at it but it had been infrequent due to their conflicting schedules. Of late, they had seen less of each other than ever although of course the reason for that now was clear in all its painful detail. Arthur bit his lip and fidgeted on his stool.

"Put on some music if you're bored," Merlin advised, beginning to fry potatoes, and pointed at a small portable, radio on a counter top by the window.

Arthur noticed with appreciation that it was digital, the man had some taste then. Not that his clothes or judgement in men indicated that in any way.

"No, I'm just thinking," he mumbled.

Merlin flashed him a wicked grin. "You do that."

It was said in such an ambiguous manner that Arthur wasn't sure if he was giving permission or asking if it was manageable. Cheeky sod.

This time Arthur rolled his eyes.

"So your book, I noticed it in the lounge," Arthur began.

Merlin in the midst of poking at the frying omelette stilled. "Yeah?"

He sounded a little nervous.

"Don't be embarrassed, it looks good, but don't get too cocky I'm impressed by anyone who can get published," Arthur said, grinning as he noticed the other man's apprehension turn to exasperation.

He watched as Merlin dished up and placed a plateful of steaming omelette in front of him. It smelled delicious.

"Yum thanks," he complimented and smiled, as the other man's blush intensified.

They ate in silence for a time before Arthur's curiosity got the better of him.

"So your book," he began. "I remember what you said at the hotel about how the title meant _in dreams there is truth _but can you tell me more. Not the ending though," he said. "I plan to buy a copy."

Merlin looked resigned, which surprised Arthur for he had eagerly spoken of his new novel previously at the hotel. Arthur wondered why and then if it was perhaps merely modesty which prevented the man talking overly of his first novel, which after all had sold millions of copies worldwide. It would be just like the man. In his position, Arthur would have been proud but perhaps the other man was proud but in a quieter way. Gods that was mature thinking. Sometimes he surprised himself.

Merlin sighed. "Did you read the synopsis?" he asked.

Arthur grinned, pleased the other man was opening up. "I did."

"That's about the sum of it," he muttered. "Man dreams. Man mourns. Man finds it hard to move on with life."

Arthur stared, incredulous. "I hope you don't say that to your fans!" he exclaimed. "You must have been a bit more eloquent with your publishers."

Surely, the man had more shrewdness than that.

"Of course I did," Merlin mumbled. "I just don't really like talking about it."

Arthur thought it might be time to change the subject, as his aim had been to cheer the man up not bring him down.

"Sorry didn't mean to pry," he commented, reassured slightly by the other man's weak smile.

"It's not you, honestly," Merlin apologised. "I get defensive I know."

"So! Arthur announced. "Let's find something else to discuss."

Laughter echoed round the kitchen, bouncing off the high ceiling.

"Subtle Pendragon, really subtle." Merlin pointed out.

Arthur shrugged. "I try."

"I'm glad you are," the other man mumbled.

It hadn't been what he meant but Arthur understood.

"You may regret it," he warned.

Arthur went to the sink and filled the basin with warm soapy water.

"Do my eyes deceive me?" Merlin cried. He took his plate over to sit at the edge of the sink.

"Shut it and get a towel for drying," Arthur ordered.

"A slave in my own home!" Merlin wailed and laughed as he was swatted over the head.

"Idiot!" Arthur sneered but his lips curved betraying his amusement.


	8. Time with friends

Arthur supposed he'd better get back to work at some point. It was Monday, almost 6 o'clock and he'd spent his afternoon hanging out with Merlin. It was one of the benefits of being boss; he could take time off without fear of the sack. It was a good thing too, considering the time.

He currently sat flicking through the channels of Merlin's old style analogue TV. Thankfully he had a free view box attached, otherwise Arthur would have had to reconsider the being friends idea. Maybe he could go shopping with the dinosaur for an H.D. screen.

Merlin was lounging in a chair, munching cornflakes and occasionally muttering about control freaks and indecisive pains in his arse.

He would rise about it and ignore such immaturity, Arthur decided, loftily.

He was more relaxed than he could remember, so much so that the vibrating in his pocket resulted in his dropping the remote. Arthur swallowed all insults and made do with giving the other man the finger as Merlin grabbed the remote with a cry of victory. He tugged out his mobile and flipped it open with an impatient sigh. Well it had better be bloody important Morgana! He didn't know what could be worth being forced to watch...oh hell! Fucking Teletubbies.

He shot daggers at Merlin who merely pretended not to see and promptly sat on the remote.

Bastard.

"What is it," he snapped.

He soon was told off for his sins.

"Don't give me any of your cheek Arthur Pendragon," she warned. "I'm phoning as your emergency contact that everyone at your office is hunting for you and for some reason you aren't available on your work phone."

"What? Oh damn it I forgot," he groaned.

Merlin tore his gaze from watching La La cavort to stare in bewilderment.

"Morgana," he mouthed and Merlin nodded as if that explained everything. Tinky Winky swinging his handbag soon distracted him.

"Where are you," she questioned sharply. "Don't tell me you're at the bar getting slewed out of your tiny mind again."

Flaming nerve.

"Actually that was only the once, _and_ if you remember you were with me at the time _just_ as rat arsed!" he protested.

That had been a memorable occasion, when the pair of them had got together, and bemoaned their horrific upbringing. Having Uther, as your lone parent was a tragedy they had in common. It had not been new to their experience. At the time, it had seemed to warrant the binge session. Perhaps because Uther had that weekend chosen to take off to a tropical Island and leave them alone on the anniversary of Arthur's mother's death. Morgana cared but she also didn't need an excuse to drink...or moan about Uther who'd divorced her mother when she'd been eleven. The rejection had sent her rather vapid mother into a tailspin of drugs and eventually led to her suicide.

She snorted but didn't say anything further on the matter. Because she had no defence, that was why!

"Anyway, you're needed at the office pronto," she stated.

"Which one?" he asked, hoping it would be one of the northern offices. If it was, then Leon could deal with it. He was his right hand man in that region.

Morgana scoffed in his ear as he watched a sun with a baby's face cackle in delight.

"Fulham, apparently," she said. "I think one of your machines went on the blink and someone was injured. You're probably going to be sued darling."

Well she didn't have to sound so delighted.

He hung up and stared at his phone. He then noticed that everything was quiet. Merlin had switched off the T.V.

"What's up?" he asked, looking concerned. "Is she okay?"

Arthur was confused until he recalled telling Merlin who'd been on the other end of the call.

"Oh, no, she's sprightly as per usual," he grumbled. "It's work, I have to be going."

He didn't want to, this had been the most enjoyable skive he'd had in a while. Actually, the only skive. It had taken his mind off...well...it had been relaxing.

"Of course you do," Merlin mumbled and appeared a bit downcast before he seemed to get a grip of himself.  
"Sorry, I've just had a nice time and it's a shame you can't stay for a Chinese and DVD."

Arthur grinned; glad he wasn't alone in having found their time fun.

"For your information, no one has every used the word nice to describe me and two if we ever get a takeaway then its going to be sushi," he declared then grinned mischievously.

"Ponce!" the other man exclaimed but he was also smirking.

Grabbing his coat, he reached out a hand for Merlin to shake.

"Thanks for, you know..." Merlin mumbled.

Arthur shook his head. "No bother it wasn't too much of a chore."

Rolling his eyes, Merlin walked him to the door.

"Hope you sort out whatever..." Merlin said, smiling shyly.

Arthur zipped up his coat and stuck his gloved hands into deep, fur-lined pockets. "Sure, and I'll be in touch okay."

"I've programmed my number into the phone I gave you as well as Morgana's, so you just have to look up the contact list," he advised.

Merlin protested that he couldn't take it and that he'd forgotten all about the mobile.

"No arguments, it's yours," Arthur commanded.

"Wait a sec," Merlin cried, before tearing down the hall.

He came back with something held tightly in his grip.

"Here," he said, pushing it into Arthur's hands.

Looking down he saw it was a copy of 'in somnis veritas', and lifting the cover he read on the inside a brief note stating _to the biggest git I know (Arthur), from Merlin. ___

"How sweet," he muttered, but he knew he was smiling. "At least it might be worth something down the line if you've signed it."

Merlin started to laugh. "Typical."

*****

It was a cold December morning, a week until Christmas, and Arthur was shopping for his presents. It should have been a joyous occasion but his shopping partner was Morgana.

"Why in the hell did you wait until now to buy presents you prat!" she'd yelled down the phone. Actually, for him this was early but he didn't think that would be acceptable as an excuse.

She'd insisted that she would accompany him into the centre to assist him choose proper presents. Arthur hadn't been sufficiently certain of his own skills to fob her off.

So here, they were traipsing down Oxford Street, faces practically blue from the icy air and shivering in their winter coats and ensemble. So far, he'd bought nothing but Morgana was laden with bags from practically every store they'd visited. Arthur was a gentleman, at times, so he was _also_ laden, with _her bags_.

"I thought the point was that you help me buy my presents," he moaned, wincing as a sharp corner dug into his leg.

"God damn it Morgana!" he shouted. Everyone in their immediate vicinity looked their way.

"Oh stop your whinging you baby!" she scolded and snapped her fingers. As if by magic, a car drove up and a man exited the driver's seat to approach them.

"Giles take these to my flat and see that no one gains access," she ordered. Arthur watched in disbelief as the serf snapped to attention and carted the packages away to put in the back of the car.

"Was he following us the entire time," Arthur grumbled. "You made us carry these when..."

She smiled sweetly. "Tantrum over? Okay lets shop," she declared.

Grabbing his arm, she led him into a shop, he had no idea which, and led him to the escalators.

Five hours later, they both stood surrounded by bags, boxes, and a terrified looking shop assistant.

"Oh thank God!" he sighed and stretched his arms above his head in exaggerated relief.

"You're not human, you know that," he told Morgana.

"I'll give Giles a call to pick these up and then I've got a surprise," she said. Morgana was smiling innocently, that didn't bode well.

After the car had taken away the remainder of their bags, Arthur looked at Morgana with some trepidation.

"Thanks for the help," he said. "No really," he added when she looked at him, eyebrow raised in disbelief.

"I just hope the presents are well received," he murmured.

Morgana smirked. "I'm sure Merlin will like his," she stated slyly, peering at him from under her lashes.

"I've no idea what you're staring at me like a loon," he grumbled. "It was a nice gift for a friend, that's all."

Morgana assumed an injured air. "Of course, what did you think I meant if not a friend?"

Oh enough.

"What's your surprise?" he wondered. "Or should I ask?"

Morgana smirked, oh fuck, wickedly.

"When was the last time you went ice skating sweetie?"

He hoped that was her idea of a joke. Oh wait she wasn't laughing. Smirking usually pre-empted a moment of great pain...for him!

"What!" he barked.

"We're meeting Merlin at the outdoor rink at Somerset House and then heading out tonight," she announced. "You both need cheering up and I don't hang out with kill joys."

"You're so thoughtful love," he muttered. Inside he felt a blossoming of pleasure at the thought of spending the rest of the day with Merlin.

"Well you've had a tough week with the papers hearing about that poor man who fell on the tread wheel,"

She smirked, the cow!

"So enjoy my weekend, is that it?" he asked.

"Well you'll have Merlin, you'll have me and you'll have a bruised arse by the end of the night. What more could you ask?" She laughed.

"Indeed," he mumbled.

Arthur felt a shiver run through him though and he wondered what the evening would bring.

The woman beside him observed him with a gentle smile, which transformed swiftly to a cheeky grin as she grabbed his hand and hauled him to the subway.


	9. Fun for a while

Thanks everyone for reviews *much love* I appreciate them all X

*****

Arthur dragged her from the carriage and glanced back in relief as the train hurtled away to its next stop.

"You'll be the death of me, you know that!" he exclaimed and glared at the smirking witch beside him.

"Oh, don't be a spoil sport," Morgana protested. "I thought he was rather charming."

Arthur huffed loudly and stared at her in disbelief. Were they thinking of the same person?

The man sitting opposite them in the carriage had been built to massive proportions, with a string of tattoos and even Arthur who fancied himself a bit handy at self defence had thought twice about taking him on. He didn't think that his fencing skills would be helpful especially as he had no sword and frankly, he would have looked ridiculous.

Morgana had spent the entire journey asking the man what his plans were for Christmas and did he have a family to share it with. Arthur had been all set to move to a different seat, just encase she was about to invite the stranger to spend the seasonal day with them! It had been rather obvious he had no family by the leering looks he had been giving his stepsister. Either that or he was a complete louse. Arthur had eventually snapped and warned the guy off. Thankfully, their stop was announced just as the man appeared prepared to make his move.

Thank ye Gods! He didn't need another lecture from his father about losing his temper in public. Arthur had seen the covert glances cast their way and knew they'd been recognised. He should have put his foot down when she'd wanted to travel by tube. Then she could always wrap him round her little finger. He knew it...unfortunately so did she.

"Charming...uh huh, right." he shook his head in exasperation.

Morgana led him across a busy street, past hectic shoppers and round a corner only to stop abruptly and gasp. He was also overwhelmed. Situated on the edge of the Thames, Somerset House was a marvel of neo-classical design. A magnificent Christmas tree, lit up by fairy lights was the background to a glistening ice rink. It was quiet with only a handful of children skating merrily over the surface, cutting figures in the ice.

"There he is." Morgana pointed to a lone figure, sitting by a sign, which proclaimed the area to be the _Skate Bar._He swallowed, rolled his eyes at his uncharacteristic nerves, and allowed her to lead him by the arm. Not that he would have had the option.

As they narrowed the gap, Arthur took in the other man's attire and bit his tongue to remain silent. Merlin looked like an overgrown kid let out to play with a fluffy woollen hat pulled over his ears, pom poms hanging down. A huge puffy jacket wrapped up his slim frame and a hand knitted scarf wrapped snugly around his neck. The scarf was bright blue and clashed to an outstanding degree with everything else he wore.

Arthur thought he looked sweetly idiotic.

He was going soft. It certainly wasn't Morgana's influence.

He watched thoughtfully though as she exclaimed over his hat and stroked it down more tightly over the poor man's ears. The one thing she was squishy over was Merlin. It was time to intervene.

"Put him down woman!" he grumbled. "Hi Merlin, welcome to my own personal hell." Arthur glanced at Morgana then smirked as the other man snorted in amusement.

Morgana sniffed her disgust at their childish antics.

"I'm going to the bar for a drink!" she announced then strode off, head held high.

Arthur smiled at the other man who shuffled from side to side with hands buried in his pockets.

"Did you bring gloves you twat?" he asked and raised his eyes heavenward as Merlin revealed that he hadn't by pulling his pink tinged fingers from their hiding place.

"Here, give me your hands," he ordered.

Merlin looked unsure but he held them out. He gasped softly as Arthur began to massage them gently in an effort to warm them up.

"There seems to be a shop over there, why don't we try to get you some gloves," he suggested and began to walk over and heard the sound of Merlin following him with satisfaction.

He scanned the selection and went to pick a pair of red, thick gloves, which would compliment Merlin's jacket. Turning to look for the counter to pay, he spotted Merlin handing over a twenty-pound note to pay for a blue and gold spotted pair. It seemed the unfortunate man was colour blind. If not then Arthur had serious worries over Merlin's sanity.

He smiled though as he watched Merlin pull the gloves on with transparent delight. He saw Arthur looking and smiled shyly, lifting his hands for inspection. Arthur found himself smiling back like a sappy fool.

"Come on Romeo, let's skate," Morgana murmured in his ear. He frowned at her comment but couldn't remain disgruntled for long as he revelled in Merlin's enthusiasm. Arthur laughed uncontrollably over Morgana's annoyance whenever she fell. It was always the ice's fault as she glared at it with an intensity, which threatened to melt the stuff.

Arthur enjoyed the rare freedom of no responsibilities; he could just be himself and have a laugh with his friends. He fell frequently at first until he was used to manoeuvring his blades but Merlin he observed was finding the exercise a little more difficult. He skated over to where Merlin lay on the ice, giggling softly at his own clumsiness.

"Don't get hysterical on me now," Arthur muttered but laughed as he helped the slighter man to stand.

"Thanks," Merlin offered and suddenly grabbed onto Arthur's waist as his feet slid forward.

It felt nice, Arthur thought. He grinned, helped Merlin to regain his balance, and then caught Morgana standing nearby with a smirk on her face.

"Off you go," he muttered and pushed Merlin to initiate his glide over the ice. Arthur caught the look of hurt bewilderment on the other man's face just before he took off.

"Ow!" Arthur yelled as something pinched him in the side. Should have fucking guessed. Morgana was glaring at him as if she wanted to dig up some ice and bury him beneath it.

"What did you say to Merlin?" she demanded.

"What...nothing," he denied, but remembering with a pang the expression on Merlin's face.

She seemed about to say more, which didn't surprise him, when a pained shout caught their attention. Following the sound Arthur turned only for his heart to leap in his chest. A figure lay in a crumpled heap, unmoving on the ice. That in itself wasn't reason to worry. It wasn't unusual. What was though was the unnatural angle with which Merlin's foot rested on the ice.

The next few minutes were a blur as he skated over and gently cradled Merlin's head. Morgana studied the awkward looking foot and declared she thought his ankle was broken. Merlin was moaning softly, mumbling into Arthur's stomach but at least he was awake and seemed to have no other injuries.

"Arthur give the man space to breathe," Morgana complained.

"Oh," he gasped, realising that he had been smothering Merlin as he held him tight. "Sorry," he muttered.

"I've phoned for an ambulance but you'll be fine Merlin," she informed the ghostly pale face which had managed to break free to look at her as she spoke to him.

He nodded his thanks but still looked to be in a lot of pain.

"We'd better get you off this ice," she decided and looked at Arthur pointedly.

"Oh, right," he said. Arthur removed his coat and rested Merlin's head carefully onto it. He got to his knees gingerly then leant down to collect Merlin into his arms.

The sound of an alarm signalled the ambulance's arrival and Arthur skated carefully to the edge with Morgana hovering beside him, comforting Merlin by telling him he'd be fine.

The paramedics told them off for moving Merlin but otherwise seemed untroubled by the man's condition as they gave him the once over. Arthur jumped in once they'd loaded Merlin, preparing to fight if they tried to get him out. No one tried to remove him but Morgana told him she'd meet them at the hospital as soon as she could.

*

Arthur sat impatiently, sipping at revolting coffee and anxiously awaiting someone who would come say that Merlin was fine and could go home. He knew that Merlin would be fine. One didn't die from a broken ankle. He still needed to see Merlin though, just to reassure his jittery fears.  
A door swung open and a nurse approached with a reassuring smile. They probably taught it at nursing college he thought uncharitably. Then sighed. It wasn't his fault that Arthur felt coiled as tensely as a spring.

"Is he okay?" he asked impatiently but with a concentrated effort not to be rude.

"Mr?" the nurse asked.

"Pendragon," Arthur barked. Damn it. He just wanted to know if he could see Merlin.

"Well you'll be pleased to know that the young man is fine," the nurse said calmly. He was no doubt used to snarling friends and relatives. "We've done an x-ray and his only injury apart from several rather colourful bruises is a broken ankle, but he'll be fine to leave soon."

Arthur thrust a hand through his hair and rubbed at his temple.

"I'm sorry, it's just I got a fright seeing him like that and I'm not particularly great around hospitals at the best of times."

He didn't remember his first visit to one but his mother had died that day. More vivid in his memory was the day he'd accompanied Morgana to say goodbye to her mother whose heart had failed from taking an overdose.

"No problem at all," the man said. "He's having it splinted and in a few days he'll need to come back to have it cast."

Arthur nodded. "When can I see him?"

"It shouldn't take long, I'll let you know as soon as he's ready to leave."

The nurse left again, as his beeper sounded, leaving Arthur to sip absently at his coffee, not tasting a drop.

"Arthur!" Morgana called. "How is he?" she asked looking concerned.

"He'll be fine, a broken ankle like you suspected," he said wryly.

For once she didn't crow over being right, just as worried over Merlin as he was.

After waiting for what felt like days they were allowed to see Merlin. He lay in bed, stripped of his scarf, hat and gloves. He had his eyes closed and the hospital radio was playing quietly in the background.

Arthur approached merely wanting to get a closer look and be reassured with his own eyes that the man was fine. He would come back after Merlin had had a nap or when the hospital staff threw them out. The latter wasn't likely since he had paid for a private room.

He smiled and was about to walk away when something caught his eye and bending closer he felt confusion then fury boil up inside. There were old scars scattered all over Merlin's neck and they continued down under his shirt. They looked like they had been painful, especially one specific scar which sliced across his neck. Arthur clenched his hands. Just where Merlin wore his scarf.


	10. Partners?

Hi, I know, I know, I'm sorry! Real life has been a ***** with work taking up my life. Really, who needs money to live? I think I'll just go live in a cave. So begins the updating. Hopefully without extended wait. X

*****

He paced the living room carpet in agitation, wondering about Merlin and if Morgana was taking adequate care of him. Arthur had wanted to be there when the other man woke up but Morgana had forbidden it.

"You're raging, which will only upset Merlin," she'd argued. "You need to go home and deal with this." Morgana had pointed a shaking hand at the criss cross of lines, which weaved across Merlin's chest.

"But...I" he'd begun to protest.

"No fucking buts," she'd warned, keeping her voice low but emphatic for all that. "I understand, but you have to think of _Merlin_," she'd emphasized.

Arthur had felt fury build up inside. "That's what I'm doing, why do you think I'm so _angry_!" he had tried to keep his voice low but couldn't quite control the burst of emotion at the end.

There had been sudden movement on the bed, a low moan of pain and then the sound of soft snoring as Merlin settled.

"Come outside a minute!" Morgana had urged, but not before giving him a reproving look.

With a sigh he'd followed, only to receive a lecture on how this wasn't the time to be selfish. "You can't get on your high horse and save everyone," She'd warned, referring no doubt to what she usually _fondly _called his saviour complex. His hurt at her words must have shown, despite his attempt to disguise his reaction, for she softened slightly.

"What I mean is that to Merlin this is a trip to have his ankle treated," she'd murmured quietly. "He doesn't know you've seen his scars and will tell you when the time is right."

It made sense but _fuck it; _he didn't want to go down the sensible route. Arthur wanted desperately to find the culprit and...Well, he didn't know yet but his shaking hands suggested it might be out of his control.

Then he realised what she'd said. "Tell me _what_ when the time is right?" he demanded. "When did _you _find out?" he asked. At the time it hadn't registered, his anger had been too overwhelming to note much else, but he hadn't heard any shocked exclamations from Morgana as he'd revealed the extent of the marring of Merlin's chest. She was far too calm. Morgana despite her cool exterior was fiercely protective of those she cared for. Just like Arthur in fact.

"That doesn't matter," she'd said, and fobbed him off. "What does though is that you try to act as normally as possible when you speak to him next."

"As opposed to what," he had posed the question with an arched brow.

"Stop being so childish, you know perfectly well what I mean," Morgana had grumbled.

So he had been banished, for the good of everyone. _Huh_. Arthur sighed heavily and reached a hand to rub at his temples, which had begun to throb incessantly. The thought of his stepsister in the nursing profession sent shivers down his spine and with an explosive sound of impatience strode to the front door. He hadn't taken his coat off since coming home over two hours ago. They should be back at Merlin's flat by now and he would be so tactful that even Morgana couldn't complain.

*

Arthur banged on the door until his knuckles ached. What was taking so long?

"I'm coming, for Gods sake that had better not be...Arthur!" She exclaimed as she flung open the door with a disapproving glare.

"Guilty as charged," he acknowledged, going on the charm offensive with a smile. "I'm calm, I'm calm," he protested as Morgana huffed her disgust and continued to act as a barrier.

"Hmm," she muttered, but she stepped aside with a flourish. Then proceeded to wag a finger in his face. "Behave," she ordered.

Yeah as if he was scared of...

"I mean it Arthur!" She insisted, still scowling.

Well, she was a _bit _scary.

"Message received, heard and going to be obeyed Ma-am!" he shouted.

"Shut it you clown," Morgana replied sounding a bit more relaxed. "He's having a nap."

Arthur wondered how Merlin was coping with having a shrew for a carer. _Rather him than me_.

He fell into one of the blue leather chairs and reached automatically for the lever. He closed his eyes and exhaled a little as he reclined. A loud cough ruined the moment.

Reluctantly he opened his eyes to see Morgana watching him suspiciously.

"What?" he asked abruptly.

"How often are you around here?" she studied him closely. Arthur decided this must be how a mouse feels just before a snake strikes the killing blow.

"You seem to be very comfortable here," she added. "That's all."

He shrugged. "No, only been here the once."

_Put that in your pipe and smoke it.__  
_  
She didn't look like she believed him but he shrugged and closed his eyes to hide. He opened them at the sound of her skirt swishing as she walked.

"How's he been?" he asked, watching Morgana stroll across to the sofa and slide over the leather much like the snake he'd compared her to.

For several seconds she didn't answer, as she moved into a comfortable position.

"As you'd expect," she replied. "He's in a bit of pain, but as long as he doesn't put any weight on it and continues to take painkillers..." She trailed off and focused on something behind him.

Arthur didn't look but he thought he could guess what had caught her attention.

"Hi, I thought I heard voices," Merlin said with a strained smile. Obviously even standing as crutches supported him was an effort. Arthur got to his feet and bore the other man's weight as he led Merlin to sit in a chair, the nearest, and the one he'd just vacated.

"Thanks," Merlin murmured and Arthur carefully adjusted the recliner to support the man's legs in a comfortable manner.

He turned to join Morgana on the sofa when she caught his eye. There was a soft, knowing twinkle, which baffled him. He coloured slightly and supposed she was merely mocking his simulation of a nurse. He'd ignore her stupid twinkling. With a grunt, Arthur sat at an angle, which hid her face from view. Pity he couldn't do the same to his hearing by the turn of his ears.

"Did you manage to fix the problem at the office?" Merlin asked with a shy smile.

He was extremely confused until the man expanded by mentioning a treadmill and potential lawsuit.

Morgana! He'd known she was trouble ever since he'd met her at his father's wedding to her mother. Even at a young age, she'd been able to twist everyone around her little finger.

"Oh _that _problem," he stated calmly. "It was a mountain out of a molehill really and completely sorted now thanks."

Arthur kept quiet about it having occurred over a week ago. Morgana must have decided that a story was needed to explain his departure at the hospital. Arthur wasn't sure why, as he didn't think Merlin valued his friendship enough to be upset by his absence. At the same time, for some reason, he didn't want Merlin to think that he wouldn't have been there for him when needed. His feelings were causing him a lot of confusion. He felt torn between looking after the idiot and demanding to know whom or what had hurt him.

"I would have stayed..." Arthur decided on the former.

"Oh." Merlin appeared startled. "I wouldn't expect you to stay if you were needed at work," he protested, looking shocked at the thought.

"Sure I would," Arthur mumbled, not overly struck on this overly touchy feely conversation. It didn't help that he could practically feel Morgana's amusement.

A delicate pink rose in Merlin's cheeks and he muttered something about his foot.

"Do you need more painkillers love?" Morgana asked, and then proceeded to leave the room.

Arthur followed her with his eyes unsure if he had really just seen her smirk...again. What did she find so funny about the current situation.

"You...ah, look better," he observed.

This seemed to have been the wrong thing to say, (though God knew how as Arthur thought it had been foolproof), for Merlin chose to duck his head and say not another word. It looked as if his cheeks were glowing steadily pinker.

"Erm, I mean...better than you did with that dumb woolly thing on your head."

Fuck. Even I know that's crap.

Shining blue eyes met his and Merlin's shoulders were shaking as he laughed and laughed.

Arthur suspected if it had been Morgana in front of him she'd have muttered something like _now I know why she left you_. No, he was being unfair but, he scraped a hand through his hair, at least he was beginning to joke about it.

"You're a git," Merlin stated, matter of fact but still with that shit-eating grin. Arthur noticed how it made his lips curl at the corners and the gleam of a nice set of teeth. Arthur was very particular about teeth.

"Uh huh." he nodded absently transfixed by the teeth.

Morgana came in at that point and handed Merlin a couple of pills and a glass of water. She waited until he'd swallowed them before withdrawing once more in complete silence.

"It's like you have a butler or something," Arthur pointed out in a hushed voice. He was amused by Morgana's attentiveness but not suicidal.

"She's been great," Merlin agreed. "I'm glad you came round," he added.

Arthur felt his heart swell. He didn't have many friends but the ones he did have he valued more than any object he owned, regardless of the price.

"Me too," he revealed.

They both sat grinning at each other and only Morgana's reappearance distracted Arthur's attention away from the other man. He was amazed by the development in their relationship. Initially they had barely held a conversation but now here they were as close as he and Morgana. It felt that way.

"So boys," Morgana interjected. "You'll both be going to my Christmas party."

Typically, it hadn't been a question.

"I would be there if I could, but..." Merlin stopped, gesturing to his foot. "I'll be in cast by then and won't be able to dance or drink."

He looked rather forlorn about it all and Arthur recalled with a grin the parties of years gone by when Merlin had had a couple of drinks and soon been three sheets to the wind. He couldn't remember any dancing but then he'd soon been in much the same state by the time any dancing began.

"Nonsense Merlin, of course you can come," Morgana dictated. "I'll get you a special chair and everything."

Arthur smirked at the defeatist look on Merlin's face. It happened to the best of them. When up against Whirlwind Morgana it usually resulted in her having her way.

"I don't know what you're looking so cock a hoop about brother dear," she pointed out. "You will be dancing to whatever tune Merlin wants. I want you to be his companion for the evening."

"I'm not a helpless baby!" Merlin protested, looking upset. He turned to Arthur. "I don't want to ruin your night and it's ridiculous that you should have to look after me."

Arthur was actually coming round to the idea, he had no substitute partner for Gwen and he _liked_ looking after Merlin. Then he realised what the other man had said.

"You wouldn't ruin my night," he reassured. "And I would love to escort you to the party." Arthur said this in an affected drawl to show it wasn't a situation he was upset about and that Merlin needn't get agitated on his behalf.

"We'll have a laugh, and I'm sure you can manage a few drinks," he added, ignoring Morgana's grumbling protest about mixing painkillers and alcohol.

Merlin beamed. "Okay, let's do it."

Arthur felt pleased at this development and was determined that he would get a chance to uncover the truth about Merlin and his past.


	11. Closure

Hya, last update for the night…I think :D

*****

Arthur walked along Park Lane, enjoying his picturesque surroundings. A few women had passed, whispering beneath silk linen, and giggling softly. Even a couple of men had stared disapprovingly before striding past. He had disregarded these moments as just one of those things. His family was well known to the public and it seemed today would be one which brought more attention than most.

He was nearing the Dorchester Hotel, where he observed several smartly dressed door attendants scurrying around, assisting new arrivals. Arthur ignored them and wandered in, shaking flakes of snow from his trousers and feet, as the door was held open. He headed straight for the Promenade

He was meeting Morgana and Merlin for their weekly muffin meet and although he had seen them the night before he was looking forward to it with some anticipation. He would be able to hear Morgana's plans for her Christmas party, which was in a few nights time, and poke fun at her completely anal behaviour over the small details. She was pernickety to a fault. He was positive that he would have a partner in crime in Merlin to enjoy such baiting.

Arthur entered the room, which stretched as long in length as Nelson's column. He scanned its occupants only to fix his stare on one table in complete shock.

His eyes met Morgana's and was about to turn on his heel when she gave him the look. The pleading one, which was so rare as to be almost non-existent. It must be important.

Arthur approached, stopped inches from the table and stared at the person in Merlin's seat.

"Hello Gwen," he muttered.

The entire situation was a joke and there had better be a damn good reason for this. Why wasn't Merlin here?

"Arthur," she responded with a hesitant smile. "You look well."

Well at least she hadn't asked how he was.

"Is Lance not with you?" he asked, knowing he was being provoking but not being able to resist.

Morgana, the spoilsport, coughed delicately.

"Sit down beside me," she commanded. "I've ordered you a fruit scone and a fresh pot of tea."

Yeah, because _that_ would help him cope. He eyed the bar covertly and covetingly.

Morgana may have noticed this for her eyes did that twinkly thing he hated. At least she seemed to be on his side. As much as she would allow herself to do so.

"Gwen called me this morning, she has tried to call you several times but you haven't answered." She paused as he interrupted.

"I wonder why that was," he sneered and ignored her reproving stare.

"As I was saying," she related. "I think it would be for the benefit of everyone if you both could at least talk. No one is saying you have to be friends."

She had a damn nerve. Only Morgana could have done this to him without his lashing out at the interference. He knew in her mind it was all for his own good...but for Pete's sake she wasn't his keeper.

"The benefit of _everyone_?" he stated, aware that Gwen had been watching him intently since he had sat down. He refused to look at her at this point. It was childish but she wasn't wanted here or part of the new life he was building. Gwen brought the empty life he had lived previously back to the fore. He had lived for work and gone home to a girlfriend who may as well have been a stranger for the interaction they had.

"We were all friends before and now the entire group has broken apart," she explained. Morgana looked about to say more when Gwen spoke over her.

"I think I should say something here," she said hesitatingly. "I'm aware it's my fault that things are awkward now between us all and that I should never have..."

"Lied?" Arthur suggested with a bitter smile.

She nodded and Morgana said nothing. She couldn't deny it after all.

"Yes," she admitted. "Merlin and Morgana are the ones who have been drawn involuntarily into this mess and I know I hurt you but..."

Arthur had heard enough. "First, you may have hurt me a little, but I am happy with the way my life is going now."

Gwen blinked.

"It was a betrayal to find out it was Lance who you...anyway, I think we can agree that we were over a long time before I found out," he announced.

She nodded her agreement, looking a little apprehensive now that he was admitting to his inner thoughts and feelings.

"I'm going to go over to the bar," Morgana stated. "I think you can both be trusted not to cause a scene in the Dorchester." Her face warned of the consequences of such behaviour.

Arthur cracked a tiny smile as he watched her leave. He could kill the witch but as he turned to see Gwen chewing on her lip he was certain that this needed to happen for him to move on properly.

It was a short meeting; neither was comfortable with it being more prolonged than necessary. They came to a resolution of sorts which went along the lines of_ I'll be polite to you if you are polite to me._

A shared smile as they'd discussed Morgana's indomitability and her refusal to let things lie.

"I suppose in time we might thank her," Gwen stated.

"_If _we are friends again at some point," he muttered, aware that she'd flinched at his qualification. He patted her on the shoulder. It was all he could manage right now and as she smiled softly in return he knew that she was aware of the fact and accepted it as the best she would get now.

"Lance?" she asked, slowly and nervously. Oh, she was pushing her luck. Arthur frowned and his hand tensed on her shoulder.

"I know," she said sadly, as she observed his tense frame. "I'm sorry."

Arthur knew it took two to tango as the old saying went, but Lance had been his best friend for years, and had listened to him moan about his relationship with Gwen many a time. He missed the man, but it was too soon and things would never be the same again.

"Okay," she murmured. "Will we leave it here for now whilst we are still in one piece and Morgana is watching approvingly?"

Arthur glanced over at his stepsister who had turned back to speak to a handsome waiter who was eyeing her with great interest. Arthur smirked. Somehow, he didn't think that the Dorchester trained its staff to flirt with customers.

He turned back to Gwen. "I agree," he replied.

She slid from her seat, shrugged into her coat and after pecking him on the cheek, went to say her goodbyes to Morgana.

Arthur stared into his cup and waited until Gwen had gone before dumping it with the intention of ordering something stronger. Morgana forced him to meet her gaze as he neared the bar and when he nodded once smiled her relief and patted the stool beside her.

"I'm sorry but at the same time not," she stated.

He rolled his eyes but knew exactly what she meant to convey with the baffling statement.

"Closure is a fine thing," she advised and hiccupped elegantly before clasping a hand over her mouth.

Arthur grinned. She was a riot.

"Come on old girl, let's go," he told her fondly. "First things first though," he began.

Morgana's lips curved slyly. "You're wondering where Merlin is, aren't you," she observed.

She didn't have to look so amused.

"Well, where is he," he demanded impatiently. "It's Muffin meet after all and the guy loves Muffins."

For some reason she found this hilarious and Arthur scowled at her inability to take him seriously. He was worried about the git, he could admit it. If Morgana was here and so was he, who was with Merlin?

"What!" he exclaimed and rolled his eyes when she snorted slightly and looked immediately horrified.

They fled into the open air and strolled along the parkland, crunching through the snow like children.

"So Merlin..." he prompted. "I assume..."

She broke in with a giggle, which was very uncharacteristic. "You assume what? That I've left him with a qualified nanny?"

Arthur swatted her over the head, laughing as she protested when her hat fell off to give the wind free reign with her long, loose hair.

"You know what I mean," he growled. "I thought he'd be here today."

Morgana tugged her hat over her ears and looked at him sharply and far too searchingly.

"The man has a broken ankle, he's not on his death bed," she protested. Arthur watched as she immediately pressed her hand to a nearby tree trunk to ward off bad luck. She was surprisingly superstitious sometimes.

"You were concerned enough to stay the other night," he pointed out. "Why couldn't he make it today?"

"Gods you're a pain in the arse," she muttered. "Give the poor guy a break," she snorted at her own ill-timed comment.

Arthur groaned.

"Why would anyone with any sense go out in the snow with crutches?" she asked. "Why Arthur..._why_?"

Well when she put it like that.

"I think a certain someone missed a certain someone," the witch murmured in a singsong style.

For the love of all that was...Arthur wondered how he put up with her sometimes.

When they'd been walking in silence for about ten minutes Morgana heaved out a great sigh.

"Fine, if you're going to sulk," she grumbled. "We'll go see him now but he mentioned something about working on his novel."

Why would she assume that he wasn't talking to her because of Merlin? Bloody hell the thing she'd pulled with Gwen was enough to send her into the bad books. Okay, so he'd only gone quiet when she'd teased him but...

Arthur snapped.

"I'm sorry okay but yes, let's go to his flat...good idea."

Sometimes her smiles scared him.

*

Morgana rang the bell.

There was a bell? Arthur looked at his knuckles, which were bruised from knocking so insistently the previous night. It was hidden under so much twiggy growth it was a wonder anyone used it at all.

She rang it three times and then opened the door with a key from her bag.

"I ring three times when I come visit to let him know I'm coming in," she explained. "Otherwise he's going to be interrupted mid wank or something and I'd rather not make him walk all the way to the door if I can let myself in."

She seemed to be expecting his approval on the matter but Arthur was still spinning over the use of the word mid and wank in the same sentence as Merlin.

They entered the flat, shook snow from their feet and called Merlin's name.

"In here love!" A voice called from down the hall.

"That's helpful," Arthur snarked quietly.

"What," he grunted, as she pinched his side.

He shrugged at her look. "Old habits die hard," he muttered.

"I'm joking. I do like the idiot you know," he huffed.

Morgana grinned a Cheshire smile. "I know."

A familiar ebony head peeked out. "What's keeping you, you have to see this, and I don't think that Arthur is going to be..._Oh_...Hi... _Arthur_!"

Merlin looked panicked and immediately disappeared from view. They heard a loud yelp and immediately ran down to see what had happened.

Arthur entered the living room to find Merlin sprawled sideways over his recliner, mouth twisted in pain.

"You daft..." he began."Well words fail me."

Supporting him to sit in the correct position was a breeze. Merlin felt weightless in his arms as he manoeuvred him around the chair.

"So you were saying..." he prompted. "Arthur is going to be?"

"Erm...nothing?" Merlin's weak smile was hopeful.

It wasn't working.

Morgana came into the room and handed over more tablets. It was like freaking de ja vu all over again apart from the lack of ice in the living room and...God stop me I'm rambling in my head.

Arthur moved as far away as possible and then what Morgana had said at the door entered his head. Merlin. _Wank_, Mid-wank, _Merlin. __  
__Fuck off brain! _

Merlin sighed and handed a newspaper to Morgana. Her eyes grew wide, her lips parted and then a chuckle rose in a crescendo.

Arthur felt a sense of foreboding, not the first and as he watched the pair across the room, somehow he didn't think it would be the last.


	12. Front page news

"Erm," Merlin mumbled once more.

If he said that one more time!

Arthur got to his feet and strode over to the pair whose expressions contrasted greatly. Merlin appeared anxious, sinking back deeper into his chair. Morgana seemed both concerned for Merlin, as she rubbed his back, but also slightly amused. She took charge as a small whimper escaped Merlin.

"Come and sit down dear," she ordered, and led Arthur back to the sofa, away from the other man.

She had called him dear, it couldn't be good.

"Now remember this isn't anyone's fault, apart from the hacks who wrote it," she warned. Then she thrust the paper onto his lap.

Arthur had been about to point out that she was one such hack when the picture blazoned across the front page came into startling relief. Then he noticed the caption.

Oh my Lord.

_**A boy in Pendragon's lair **_

He took several deep breaths and blinked rapidly but the image remained, as did the words.

"What the _fuck_ is this!" he demanded.

"Arthur, stop it, get a grip," Morgana dictated. He tore his eyes from the coloured spread to meet now serious eyes. She wasn't amused anymore. Her back was to Merlin as she mouthed _you're upsetting him._He rolled his eyes but found himself attempting to follow her orders. His eyes kept flitting back to the page, which held two images he noticed now. The main one was of Merlin leaving Arthur's flat and the second was an image of two men laughing at some joke or other as they skated over an open-air ice rink, with a grand Christmas tree as a backdrop. He studied their faces, observed the content look on the blonde-haired man's face and wondered if he had ever seen himself so relaxed. He didn't think so, not in a while. There was no sign of Morgana in the picture, but then that wouldn't be any use to the twats, if they wanted to tell a story of two men in secluded bliss.

"I'm sorry Arthur," Merlin mumbled from across the room. He sounded upset and Arthur knew that despite what his father would think the other man had had nothing to do with this tosh.

As Arthur studied the darker haired man in the frame, who also beamed his delight, he wondered why he felt a pang when he considered the caption was a lie. He had his arm in a protective hold around Merlin's shoulders and as he looked at the thickly knitted scarf around the other man's neck his eyes flickered then burned.

"Not your fault," he grunted.

Morgana's expression softened.

_That's better, _she mouthed.

"It's done, and there's not much point demanding a retraction as it's all gossipy speculation. It'll blow over in time," Morgana stated.

Arthur agreed. "I can't believe the brass neck of some people but yeah as long as those who matter know the truth then I'll just deny it whenever asked."

Merlin nodded in agreement, looking at his feet and rather subdued. Arthur felt awful that the other man had been dragged into something so tacky. Certainly, he had experienced far more sordid exposés but the other man wasn't used to that life. As a semi reclusive author he tended to avoid the press and hadn't courted attention from the media. Arthur and Morgana on the contrary had had to learn to cope from an early age.

"I won't bite Merlin," he promised. "It's the prat who wrote this I want to tear limb from limb."

Merlin lifted his head and nodded slightly. "I was worried that you would think..." he trailed off.

Morgana snorted. "We both know you had nothing to do with this Merlin."

Arthur smiled to show his agreement with her statement and a wave of relief passed over the other man's face.

"Still it must be embarrassing for you, especially as you're not even interested in men," Merlin pointed out.

Arthur glared, blushing furiously as Morgana coughed loudly.

"Well actually..." he stopped. Merlin's eyes were huge.

"What he's trying to say is..." Morgana began.

"Thank you _dear_," Arthur growled. "I'm bi-sexual, I swing both ways, whatever you call it," he explained. His face felt as if it had turned beetroot.

Merlin wasn't helping by staring at him like a stranded fish. "Oh..."

He shouldn't feel bad, it wasn't as if he'd lied or anything and they hadn't exactly been close. Arthur found himself explaining despite knowing this to be true.

"I had a few boyfriends (he ignored Morgana's snort at his use of the term boyfriend to describe the one night stands of his youth), in my teens but then I met Gwen and settled down to domestic bliss," he finished sarcastically.

"Oh," the other man mumbled, still looking gob smacked.

"I always thought one of the reasons you didn't like me was because..." he paused and flushed.

Arthur was livid. "What? Because you are gay?" he demanded. "I would never be such a hypocrite!"

"Cool it," Morgana murmured.

Merlin was staring at him curiously now. "Whenever Will...Will and I, well... well you know," he stammered, his neck was now a rosy red colour. "You were always looking at us with such disgust or disapproval," he finished.

Arthur was flummoxed. It wasn't true was it? Well he supposed he had found the snogging sessions a little distasteful but that had been because they had been so wet not because it had been two male sets of lips involved.

Morgana was grinning. The cow.

"I'm sorry if I made you feel that way but I can promise I am not homophobic," he reassured. "Like I said I'm not a hypocrite."

"How did you get this paper anyway?" Arthur wondered suspiciously. "You weren't out walking were you? You could have come met us at the hotel."

There was a distinct sense that messages were being passed silently between the other two occupants in the room.

"Merlin?" he prodded. Arthur chose the weaker target.

It didn't get a reaction from the other man but it did prompt Morgana into jumping to his defence.

"Oh leave him alone you brute," she ordered. "I told him what I'd planned with Gwen and he didn't approve alright."

Arthur frowned. He supposed her excuse about the weather had been weak, Merlin could have always have booked a taxi or one of their drivers could have collected him.

"Is that true?" he asked and watched Merlin closely. He could smell a lie a mile away.

The other man acknowledged, "I wasn't happy with you seeing Gwen."

Then he seemed to realise how that sounded for he flushed crimson. "I mean I didn't want you to get hurt."

It was actually rather sweet he decided. Arthur smiled at the other man and then looked pointedly at Morgana. "You see, person not interfering and who still cares!" he exclaimed.

Part of his was still mad about that but Morgana was Morgana and she never changed. You took the bad with the good.

She looked heavenward in response and gestured to the paper. "So we're cool," she stated.

Arthur looked from her to Merlin. "Sure, it isn't anyone's fault, just one of those things."

What? Why was she smirking?

"I just had a thought," she explained. "Who is going to explain this to Uther? He's bound to hear about it."

Arthur groaned.

"If you think it would help, I'll not bother going to the party or I can manage if the odd person gives me a hand to get drinks and the like," Merlin offered.

What was he talking about?

"I don't want to add to your problems with your father if he doesn't approve," the man explained.

_Ah._"No Merlin, I'll still partner you, I refuse to let those gits win and I said I would so..." he trailed away.

"Don't worry about Uther," Morgana reassured. "He won't even be there and it is a strictly invite only party,"

Merlin seemed comforted by this news and smiled shakily. "Well if you're sure."

"Positive!" Both he and Morgana said in tandem.

Arthur looked again at the image on the cover and realisation struck. "That's why people were so interested in me earlier," he cried.

At their baffled stares Arthur explained," On the way to the Dorchester I passed several giggly dames and disapproving gentlemen." He laughed, "Probably old school and not overly keen on _our sort _Merlin."

Merlin still seemed amazed by the fact that he sometimes liked men. Arthur wondered why. Maybe because he wasn't your stereotypical homosexual male. Then again, he wouldn't expect that to be something to bewilder Merlin who must have known many people of the same persuasion. That reminded him of Merlin's ex and those scars and suddenly he was frowning alarmingly.

"What are you scowling at Pendragon?" Morgana asked. She was sitting across from him on the sofa and now lifted her feet up to rest on his lap, atop the paper.

He rolled his eyes. "Mind your own beeswax," he scolded, using a saying from their childhood.

Morgana pouted and kicked him none too gently in the gut.

Merlin was watching their antics in amusement he noticed. Arthur winked and watched in interest as the other man's ears began to bloom a soft, subtle pink.

Hmm.

Morgana slid to her feet and announced she was going to get some drink and snacks. "I'm starving!" she proclaimed.

"I don't see how considering the amount of cake she scoffed at the Dorchester," Arthur whispered to Merlin. After she'd left the room of course.

The other man grinned. "I don't know where she puts it."

"God, don't flatter her Merlin," Arthur scolded. "She's uppity enough without our adding to it."

He smirked to lighten the snark and watched as Merlin shared his amusement. Arthur studied the man, seeing him for the gentle person he was, but also aware of the layers which existed beneath the obvious shyness. Merlin was intriguing.

"So what are your plans for Christmas?" Merlin asked, looking interested.

Arthur wasn't sure yet, he expected he'd end up seeing Morgana. The plan of course had been to spend it with Gwen.

_Oh_,"What about you Merlin?" he asked. "If you want you're welcome to join Morgana and me."

Merlin seemed surprised but pleased. "I wouldn't want to impose," he insisted looking uncertain now.

"Don't be ridiculous you prat!" Arthur stressed.

"Ditto," Morgana added from the doorway, balancing a tray, which held a bottle of Cava and chocolates.

"Make yourself at home Morgana," Arthur muttered.

"Oh, she left them here last time," Merlin said with a smile. "She is forever bringing round stuff."

Arthur observed the warmth in her eyes as she looked at Merlin and then the reciprocated look in the other man's eyes. That wasn't jealousy he felt? Surely?

"So are you spending Christmas with us or what?" Arthur pressed, trying to distract his thoughts from where they had been headed.

"If you'll have me," Merlin answered. He was curling a lock of ebony hair around his middle finger and scrunching up his nose without apparently being aware of the fact.

"Oh, for Gods sake, you're going to Arthur's with me and that's final!" Morgana had the final word. Well nearly.

"What do you mean it's at mine, it was at mine last year you witch?" Arthur moaned in exasperation.

They glared at each other and then tuned to stare at Merlin who was holding his side and snorting his amusement.

"This promises to be an entertaining Christmas that's for sure," he choked out, moaning a little as he jarred his ankle as he laughed.

For once, it was Arthur and Morgana who united to glare at Merlin.


	13. The party: part One

It was Tuesday, the night of the party.

"Get off me woman," Arthur grunted and shooed Morgana away. "I don't get why you had to come round and bug me whilst I get ready. I believe my fashion sense is to be trusted unlike a certain skinny author."

Morgana swatted him over the head. "You know I've already been there to give the poor soul a hand to dress," she said, and approached again to fiddle with his hair.

"Stop it! What..._God!"_ he roared.

She merely shot him the look. "Stop your whinging; I have my own reasons for you looking your best tonight."

_Huh_. Probably some toff nosed friend she wanted to set him up with. Well that _wouldn't_ be happening.

"You did say I was to stick like glue to Merlin," he reminded her. Ah hah, off the hook.

If anything, she seemed happy by his words and her hands became significantly gentler in their touch and fixing of his tie.

_Bloody witch._

"Thank you for the compliments by the way," she murmured but with enough edge to make him hasten to respond.

"You look _fab-u-lous_ darling," he copied the tone of a famous T.V. dancing judge with a smirk.

Morgana merely rolled her eyes but looked gratified all the same.

In fact, she did look ravishing. Her long, black hair swept up in an elegant chignon with delicate strands curling loosely to frame her face. The dress she wore to perfection was a matching ebony shade with a demure front but plunging back to reveal tanned, toned skin. Slight touches of glittering diamond finished her outfit. There was just one thing missing he noted which she always applied last.

Perhaps once she'd put him down she would go ahead and slick on the vibrant shade of lipstick she was famed for. Crimson red.

"All done," She announced, sounding satisfied.

Arthur sighed extra loudly to emphasise his relief. He turned to study his reflection in the full-length mirror, which sat in his bedroom in a well-lit corner. Actually, it pained him to admit, she'd done a better job of his hair than he could usually manage. A small amount of gel had been applied to give it a definite style but not the wet look Arthur despised. His fringe fell over his forehead as usual but in a controlled way. Morgana had sprayed something, which had actually smelled quite nice all over it to _allow it to set_.

He wasn't a bloody jelly!

However, as he took in his appearance he couldn't help but give her brownie points in his head.

She had helped pick out his outfit when they had gone shopping on Saturday and although more expensive than usual he couldn't deny it was fit to perfection. He wore a black classic tuxedo with crisp white shirt and tiny gold cufflinks, which glowed under the light. His shoes shone and although not overly vain, Arthur couldn't resist flashing a grin.

"Give us a twirl," Morgana whistled and grinned as he looked up to meet her eyes in the mirror with significant surprise.

"What, forgotten I was here?" she asked.

He had, but Arthur brazened it out by giving her the twirl she had asked for. Her laughter as he swayed a little at the end was wicked.

"That's before you get hold of the alcohol," she taunted.

Arthur had already decided he wasn't planning to drink much if he was accompanying Merlin. He would need his wits about him to ensure no one barged into the man.

"I'm limiting myself to a few glasses of wine," he declared.

She merely smiled at him and raised a brow.

"Let's go," he stated. He wanted to get to the hotel and be on the spot to help Merlin. Morgana had sent him ahead with Giles to ensure he was settled and comfortable before the hoards arrived. His cast had been fitted the other day and Morgana hadn't wanted him to be fighting his way though crowds of people. Neither had Arthur.

"Wait, wait!" she cried and tottered over to the mirror, pushing him out the way to apply gloss to her lips. Once she seemed satisfied with her pout, she grabbed his arm and sang _lead the way._Typical Morgana had gone for a venue, which the majority of people wouldn't have expected. Arthur was sure there must have been many a raised eyebrow when the name River Terrace, Somerset House was read on the invitation. There had obviously been fond memories of the day they'd gone ice-skating for Morgana as well as the nightmare, which had been Merlin's broken ankle.

She had shown him images of how it would look _glammed up _as she put it. Well he hoped so for he doubted much of their acquaintance would appreciate having to browse through touristy shops or the necessity of woolly accessories.

He stopped Giles from exiting the car. "I'll help her ladyship don't you worry," he'd grinned.

The faithful driver merely nodded gravely and with a sigh Arthur half aided, half pushed her in.

"Hey, watch the dress!" she cried.

Total drama queen of course.

"So," he asked casually. "What's Merlin wearing?"

She smirked. "A monkey suit, what do you think he's wearing."

"Very funny," Arthur grumbled, frustrated by her need to evade his every question about their friend. He'd been asking her sporadically since she'd arrived at his flat.

"I helped him dress," she pointed out.

That was true. Arthur may have almost believed her earlier comment about the monkey suit, or at least some ridiculous choice of outfit if Merlin had been responsible for his own ensemble. As it was Morgana had, dare he admit it again, great taste.

*

Giles pulled up at the venue and Arthur couldn't restrain his small gasp of wonderment. Somerset House was lit up with lights, which highlighted its beauty. He had to admit she had made a fabulous choice.

The River Terrace was a contemporary structure, which would be modern for the younger guests and set as it was in Somerset House of interest to the older generation. More importantly, Arthur decided it looked _warm_. It overlooked the Thames and the close proximity to the rink meant that the guests who wished could have a go at ice-skating. Arthur didn't think he'd be offering _that_ as a possibility to Merlin.

"It looks amazing Morgana," he acknowledged. "I'm impressed."

She smiled slightly her thanks. "Let's go find Merlin," she advised.

There was a strange feeling of de ja vu again.

They entered the area, which had been booked especially for their party. It held 200 people but only one person sat at a table, a lonely looking figure.

"Merlin," Arthur shouted, and then quickly shut up as his ribs were bashed.

"Really Arthur, you'd think you were brought up by wolves the way you carry on at times," Morgana admonished.

He couldn't give a stuff. Merlin was grinning and waving at them from where he sat at a central table, but near one of the exits. Arthur smirked as he observed Morgana practically skip over to him. She could barely restrain her own excitement at seeing the man. Then again, she had the added buzz of being host at an extremely lavish Christmas party in a sumptuous setting. She was probably practically peeing herself with glee. Arthur grinned at the thought and followed on behind.

As they got closer, Arthur took in the other man's appearance, and his eyes widened. He listened as Morgana chattered on, asking how Merlin was and if the waiters were approaching him enough. It went in one ear and out the other as Arthur gaped at the suave man who sat at the elaborately set table in amazement.

He hadn't expected that. Monkey suit it wasn't. Arthur felt a small amount of lust creeping up on him as he looked his fill. Horrified by the direction of his thoughts he reverted to teasing the man to conceal his reaction.

"So you forgot something," he said to Merlin with a forced smile. "Did you realise?"

"Oh?" Merlin looked at him enquiringly. His cheeks flushed slightly, probably by the cool breeze, which was entering by an open window. His eyes were bright as he watched Arthur intently.

"Yep," Arthur assured. "I think you're missing a toggled woolly hat."

They grinned at each other.

Merlin played along. "It would set this suit off to perfection," he exclaimed lifting his hands aloft palms raised.

"Cherry on top darling," Arthur drawled.

My Lord I'm sharing private jokes and acting the goat with Merlin.

"For God's sake have you both been drugged?" Morgana spluttered. "This is my party and..."

"You'll cry if you want to?" Merlin finished helpfully.

Arthur choked back a laugh for all of five seconds before it tore loose from his throat. It wasn't long before he and Merlin were crying with laughter.

"Obviously hysteria is spreading like wildfire," she hissed. "I'm going to make sure everything is set for the arrivals. Don't get Merlin anymore drinks, I think he's had enough." Morgana paused and looked closely at Merlin's eyes. "Hmm, either that or you've been popping painkillers and downed one for luck?"

She strode off, informing Arthur to _sober him up!_

"So are you actually drunk then or just pleasantly tipsy?" Arthur asked with a grin. The other man's goofy grin suggested he was well on the way to getting sozzled.

"Oops," Merlin mumbled.

Rolling his eyes Arthur took the empty glass from the table. "Oops is right."

"Think..." Merlin hiccupped then burped quietly before holding a hand over his mouth with a horrified look on his face. Arthur tried not to laugh. "Think I shou...shouldn't 'ave took pills with..." he waved a bit at the table where the glass had stood."...with wisky."

Wisky? Oh..._whisky. _Arthur pressed a finger under Merlin's chin and tipped it up so that the other man met his eyes.

"Let's get you sobered up so that we can both enjoy this party," he declared.

Merlin looked sheepish enough to reassure Arthur that he wasn't _that _much under the influence.

He caught a waiter's eye and ordered an entire extra jug of cool water for Merlin's sole use. He would get the man sober if it killed him.

*

The party was in full swing.

Well it hadn't killed him but the elderly man chewing his ear off was trying his best to ease him toward a death of boredom by carrots. A keen gardener, the man whom Arthur had never met, had cornered him by the bar area as Arthur had gone to fetch another drink. He could have waited for a waiter but it was so busy and he had needed a bit of fresh air so had thought to kill two birds with one stone. He nodded politely in the man's general direction, all the time scanning over his head and around for Merlin. The man had moved damn it!

"Excuse me, can I interrupt," a familiar voice intruded politely.

Arthur could have kissed him, although that actually would be rather weird and extremely icky.

"Gaius!" he cried. "I'm so glad you could come."

Arthur watched the other man leave in relief and turned to Gaius with a grateful smile.

"You had no idea who that was, did you," his Godfather scolded, but with a tolerant smile.

Arthur shrugged. "Should I have?"

"It was between me and Lord Conray to be chosen as your Godfather," Gaius explained. "Your mother wanted me so when she passed away it was Uther's way of...well you get my meaning."

Arthur didn't mind this plain speaking, in fact he was grateful for it, so used he was to sycophants in all areas of his life.

"I guess I should stop complaining about you then," he teased.

The elderly physician allowed his amusement to show in the twinkling of his eyes but appeared sternly reproving in every other way.

"Of course, young Arthur," he approved.

Arthur started laughing and reached out to give the old man a hug. It was returned in kind.

"So have you seen Morgana?" he asked. "I take it you are unexpected as she didn't mention you were coming and as far as I knew you were still abroad."

The other man nodded. "She doesn't know, yes, but don't tell her I want to surprise her."

No problem he liked knowing things before the witch, it rarely worked that way.

"Can I leave you to find her on your own," Arthur begged. "I'm sort of babysitting a friend and it looks like he's got lost."

"There are children here?" Gaius looked concerned (ever the doctor) as he scanned the room which offered flowing wine and sophisticated conversation.

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Not quite."

He gasped abruptly as he caught sight of Merlin stumbling past a waiter, who carried aloft a tray carrying a variety of tall glasses. He swayed on his crutches and Arthur gasped again as he nearly fell.

"Excuse me," he muttered and raced over to Merlin who seemed determined to self-destruct tonight.

Gaius watched in amusement as he saw the person whom Arthur claimed to be babysitting. Then stared. Wasn't that Hunith's boy, the one who'd been in that dreadful accident?


	14. The party: part two

"Merlin," he snapped. "Will you just stay where you are..._please?" _

Arthur attempted to maintain his hard exterior but something about those pleading, big blue eyes melted him every time.

"Sorry, but I wanted the loo," Merlin explained. "Need to go do a..."

Arthur hastened to reply. "Yes, well...I think we should go there now," he announced, getting between Merlin and the rather haughty madam who had begun to appear affronted by Merlin's words.

"Aww, thank you Arthur," Merlin sighed and reached out a hand to stroke over Arthur's brow.

"You need to stop that grr look," he explained.

Arthur despaired. "Come on."

My Lord! At least _this_ time, his private stash had been left untouched. He could smell the whisky as if it oozed from every pore.

Arthur came to a sudden standstill, halted by a hand clenched on his sleeve.

"Gaius?" Merlin was staring as if he'd seen a ghost. "What's _he_ doing here?" he gasped.

Arthur followed his gaze to pinpoint his Godfather's location. "What? You _know _him?" he demanded.

The world wasn't that small...surely.

Merlin appeared subdued and he was nibbling on his lip again. "He saved my life," he mumbled.

_What? _

Arthur could see his Godfather chatting with an overly excited Morgana. That wasn't unusual, for she tended to squeal and act in strange ways (well odder than the norm) around Gaius. Apparently, he'd been her first crush, when he had babysat years before. Gaius had chased away her nightmares. She had admitted it one evening, rather sheepishly; obviously aware the man was old enough to be her grandfather. Arthur loved to tease her on the issue but for now, he was more interested in Merlin.

For Merlin to be acquainted with Gaius was odd. Arthur was determined to find out all. Especially regarding the comment, _he saved my life_. Too intriguing to ignore.

First things first though. Merlin was too old to have an accident. Thankfully, the toilet facilities were not far and on route, Arthur collected a jug and glass from a passing waiter. The man had begun to protest but then Arthur had seen recognition in his eyes as he backed off. He would need to 'water' Merlin before Morgana caught wind of his failure to sober him up. In his defence, Arthur hadn't allowed Merlin another drink; he must have inhaled a few whilst _he'd_ been at the bar. Now they were both doomed unless he managed to recover Merlin's faculties. Such as they were.

As Merlin grinned at him with a beaming smile, he rolled his eyes but despite himself formed an answering smile.

Arthur led the way to the men's room, to clear a path for _man with crutches_. He couldn't believe how many people were just plain rude! He was exasperated with the lot of them, friend or not. He'd already snarled a little too blatantly at a man he'd recognised as an old friend of Uther's. Lord Geraint or something, he'd barged into Merlin, causing him to screech in pain. Arthur's hands had curled tight as he'd forced a feeling of calm. Somehow, Merlin had made him his personal bodyguard.

_Finally! No one else to navigate past!_ Arthur supported Merlin into a cubicle and closed the door. "Don't lock it...okay!" he warned.

A grunt was the only reply. Hmm...Good enough. He hoped.

"Are you growling?" Merlin asked from inside the cubicle. He sounded concerned, despite the lilting tone, which indicated the man's nearness to a drunken haze. Not that Arthur had a close association with such feelings or behaviour.

"I can always hit someone with a wooden stick," Merlin offered.

Gods preserve us! "It's a crutch Merlin...a crutch!" Arthur insisted, hearing clattering and grunts of pain. Soon he could take no more and went to pull open the door, preparing for the worst. It wouldn't budge.

"Merlin, open this door!" he cried. There was no answer, apart from a soft giggle, which was no answer at all. It just made Arthur feel the urgency of the situation to a greater degree. He had images of dragging out Merlin's lifeless body as the other man wore a fixed grin. That was so not happening.

"Huh," a voice sighed.

Now the idiot was off in some dreamland or something. Ah well, nothing else for it. Arthur entered the cubicle adjacent to Merlin's and stood on the toilet to try to gain a view at least of Merlin's situation.

"I'm going to kill you," he muttered, as he observed the slumped body over ivory porcelain. The idiot even slumped well.

Arthur eased one leg over the wall, grabbed hold of the ledge, then swung his body until he landed cat like on his feet. _Easy!__  
_  
His groin ached slightly. Perhaps _not_.

Ignoring the pain, he carefully lifted Merlin and hoisted him to balance over a shoulder. Arthur was grateful it wasn't the other way about as he studied the man's slender frame.

"My hero," Merlin sighed sleepily.

Uh huh. He could imagine Morgana muttering about his saviour complex. It was true though that he felt a natural instinct to protect this man. Arthur had observed how the navy tie wrapped the slender throat where he knew the scar to be. He bristled unbidden and forced himself to take deep breaths.

"You need fresh air, but _first _water," Arthur decreed, then placed the other man gently on the ground, holding him until he'd regained his balance. He wanted to carry him outside but didn't think in the cold light of day that Merlin would appreciate it. They would draw a crowd and probably a few ribald comments.

Merlin pouted. "Whisky," he mumbled. "Much better."

It was hard to disagree, but in his condition, Merlin really didn't need to be increasing his level of intoxication.

"You definitely love your whisky," Arthur agreed, thinking of the day he had scanned his personal collection with disbelief, swiftly followed by fury.

"Oops, sorry 'thur," the other man mumbled. Merlin looked penitent but his mischievous gaze ruined the sincerity implied.

Arthur ran cold water from the tap and began to fill the jug he'd swiped. "Drink!" he ordered, after filling the glass.

Merlin appeared aghast at the thought.

"Can't drink that, could be con...pam...yam... _contaminated!"_ Merlin declared triumphantly.

Arthur raised a brow until the look slid and faded to wary uncertainty. He observed the other man sternly, which caused a fetching blush to rise in pale cheeks.

"Fine," Merlin pouted.

A few splashes may help sober the idiot. Arthur held his hands under the tap, leant Merlin over the sink, and began splashing a little cool water onto his face.

"Ruin the hair," Merlin moaned. He was sifting pale, slender fingers through ebony locks. "Morgana said _pretty."___

It was hard to disagree_._

"If you don't, I'll have to take you home." Arthur warned. "Then I'll have to tell Morgana," he warned and smiled grimly, as the man whitened once more.

"No." Merlin begged, looking rather forlorn.

The threat of Morgana's wrath, it worked every time.

"Just drink this," he ordered, and handed over the glass.

He watched in satisfaction as Merlin drank the lot. It wouldn't have an immediate effect but if he kept the man away from alcohol then it would eventually help.

Arthur decided that it would be a good time to ask some questions.

"So...Merlin, how do you know Gaius?" he asked, with an innocent smile.

He waited patiently. Okay maybe not that patiently for Merlin to finish wiping the drool from his chin and sort his hair in the gleaming mirror.

Of course, mirrors at Somerset House would be flattering, Arthur supposed.

"Gaius?" Merlin furrowed his brow as if they hadn't just been discussing the man. "My Godfather Gaius?" he asked once more.

This was becoming too confusing for even Arthur's brain. Moreover, he wasn't the type to get confused. Considerable brainpower let me tell you.

"No," Arthur explained patiently. "He's _my_ Godfather. I was wondering how you knew him."

"Nuh huh," Merlin grumbled. "Gaius mine."

Arthur considered Merlin carefully; he couldn't think why he would lie about something like that?  
He resolved to speak with Gaius as soon as he had the opportunity.

"Let's go outside and get some fresh air," he advised gently. "Maybe we can find Gaius once you're better?"

They had just left the room and entered the main dining area.

Merlin beamed. "Yeah!" he cried.

Several heads turned.

Arthur forced a smile.

"_Okay_," he murmured. "Let's go. Same story, I'll clear a path."

Merlin had grabbed hold of his arm, ignoring his crutches, as they dropped on the floor. "These crap, want you," he exclaimed with a beatific smile.

Arthur was aware that it was likely a certain substance, namely whisky, which was culpable for Merlin's actions, so hastily he picked the crutches up and pushed them forward.

"Want you to carry me," Merlin grumbled. He had stuck his lower lip out until it jutted forward petulantly.

Oh, he'd be so embarrassed tomorrow!

"Come on Merlin," Arthur stated. "Let's go before Morgana releases the hounds."

For some reason, Merlin found that hilarious. "Release the hounds!" he giggled.

"You must have taken a lot of pills," Arthur muttered, but thankfully Merlin didn't hear or his answer may have been reported to the room at large.

"Like Mr. Burns in the Simpsons," Merlin explained, looking scandalised when Arthur stared in bewilderment.

"Don't tell me you don't know..." he began.

"I know Mr. Burns," Arthur muttered, before he had World War three on his hands.

Bloody hell.

Thankfully, Merlin had taken his crutches and was making his way towards the exit. Arthur kept a close eye for stray feet or other obstacles.

"So Gaius." he changed the subject swiftly. "He's your Godfather?"

Merlin nodded eagerly.

"He saved your life?" Arthur asked, desperate to hear more about this man who had so many secrets.

Merlin studied him in amazement. "How did you know that?" he wondered, mouth agape.

Arthur could see this becoming the conversation time forgot.

"You told me Merlin," he murmured. "But going back to my question..."

"Was my Godfather_ way _before he did _that_," Merlin stressed.

They were approaching the ice rink and Arthur eyed a bench which would be ideal. Isolated from prying eyes with a cool, refreshing breeze which would help revive Merlin.

Arthur helped him to sit, and recalled the last occasion when he had been here with this man.

"Way before he did _what!" _he prompted.

"Saved my life of course," Merlin said, looking at him pityingly. "Are you okay 'thur? Think you might have had too much."

Close to the end of his tether, Arthur felt a hand close over his shoulder.

"_There _you are," Morgana exclaimed. "I see things haven't improved."

She didn't appear too upset by this, surprisingly, considering her earlier warnings.

"As long as he doesn't hurt his ankle and you don't let him have anymore," she advised with a stern look.

She must have become aware of his puzzled look for she drew nearer to his ear," Keep him here Arthur," she whispered. There was an urgency now which hadn't been there a moment before.

"No whispering," Merlin grumbled. His head had lolled forward but he seemed healthier in colour than before.

Morgana shook her head at his questioning look. _Later_, she mouthed, _I'll be back soon_. She then announced rather louder that she'd better get back to the party.

"Yes, you don't want people to complain you're a bad host," Arthur teased, all the while watching Morgana's relieved smile as he played along with increasing bafflement.

He followed her retreat, keen to pursue but stuck by the need to stay with Merlin.

The man was still sitting, head forward and fingers rubbing at his temples.

Arthur took pity. "Come 'ere," he sighed. The man's head flopped onto his shoulder and Arthur felt something tug at his shirt. Staring down, he observed Merlin's fingers wrapped around the silk material covering his stomach. Then a face was pressing into his neck, cold nose rubbing against the sensitive skin there and warm puffs of air tickling his senses.

A feeling of tenderness swept over and through him.

Good grief. If he hadn't gone and fallen for the idiot.


	15. Party over

Hi, sorry about the long wait, r.l. issues came up. Thank you guys who messaged kind words of support. :D

I appreciate them and this chapter is for you. I'm on two weeks holiday now so should be back on track with my posting speed. X

Warnings: as per usual: slash pairing. Don't like, don't read!

*

Arthur stared straight ahead, stunned by his abrupt awakening to the truth. He had an arm around Merlin's shoulder and felt the man burrow even closer as if Arthur was his personal pillow. When had this happened? Why now? When Merlin was practically comatose.

His life the past few weeks had transformed gradually into something he didn't recognise. No Gwen or Lance at his side but instead a developing of his relationship with Merlin, the man he'd have crossed the road to avoid. It had altered so much in such a short space of time but somehow, amazingly, felt as natural as breathing. He relaxed in Merlin's company, could banter, mock and yet feel incredibly protective at the same time. It was as if it was his job to watch out for the man and finding out about his less than sheltered past had only pushed him faster toward the realisation. His jaw clenched as he considered the mysterious ex who'd hurt Merlin so badly. In part, he didn't want to know the extent of the abuse but the more dominant feeling was a desire to understand, to be there for Merlin. The scars disturbed him, made his heart clench in his chest. In addition, Gaius was his Godfather too. So many secrets, so many barriers between understanding this man who lay so trustingly, tucked into his side.

Now Morgana was adding to his confusion, what had she meant by making them remain here?

Hearing footsteps, he lifted his head and observed Gaius approach. He looked worried,_ it must be serious_. His Godfather wasn't the type to panic or show concern.

"Is he alright?" Gaius murmured, staring down at the slender man.

"Self inflicted. The prat had too much to drink but he's sleeping it off," Arthur replied. "He broke his ankle at the weekend so this wasn't one of his brighter ideas."

"No," the older man agreed. "Poor soul, his life doesn't run smoothly it seems."

Well he wasn't letting that pass. "It seems everyone knows Merlin better than me!" Arthur exclaimed.

Despite knowing that their friendship was a fledgling thing, it still hurt to be kept in the dark. Arthur knew he was being ridiculously immature about it all but was helpless to prevent his bottom lip from jutting out and a scowl of alarming proportions. At least it felt that way as his forehead creased tightly into a mass of tense wrinkles with his frown.

"You're still here!" Morgana called. "Good."

Gaius looked relieved as she moved alongside him.

"_Would someone..._" Arthur lowered his voice as disgruntled murmurs were lost in his shirt and inhaled deeply as Merlin's mouth pressed against the sensitive skin at his throat. He drew in a deep breath as Merlin sighed and stilled. "Would someone _please _tell me what the hell's going on," he begged.

The other two glanced at each other, prolonging his wait and increasing his annoyance.

"Well?" he demanded fiercely but in a hushed voice.

"Is he asleep?" Morgana asked shakily. Arthur studied her face for the first time since she'd rejoined them by the rink. He could see now that her lips were trembling slightly and began to wonder if he should be looking after her too.

"That bastard," she hissed quietly at his nod. "He was here."

Arthur was confused but realising that this was something to pay attention to as she was literally shaking with temper. Never a good sign with his stepsister.

Gaius placed a hand on her shoulder. He had always soothed Morgana in the past, which was why Arthur felt apprehension grow at her continued loss of control. God, if she'd been any madder steam would have been erupting from her ears.

Who was here? _What bastard? _"Who?" he wondered aloud.

"Has _it _been dealt with?" Gaius interrupted.

Arthur shifted as he felt the beginnings of a 'dead' leg. Then fumed at yet another cryptic comment.

"Right, that's it! _I'm_ leaving and I'm taking _Merlin_ with me," Arthur exclaimed. He began to shift on the bench and Merlin moaned softly in his sleep, "No, no."

His head snuck into Arthur's armpit, butting the arm upward to make room. Arthur's arm flopped down to rest protectively over the other man, stroking his back, and suddenly there was an audible hush. Arthur wished for an available crook too in which to hide. Reluctantly he looked up to confront the stares he could feel. Morgana was studying him narrowly, like a cat who'd clocked a bowl of cream and, more embarrassingly, an amused Gaius was quirking a brow.

At least they no longer looked quite as agitated. There was a worrying hint of sappy appreciation in their eyes though. The last thing he needed was Morgana discovering he had feelings...no _loved,_ Merlin. God, the repercussions would be horrific. Arthur imagined she'd either fly into a fit of rage, threaten him for not being good enough for her _ittle Merlin _or perhaps, even worse, welcome it with open arms and plan a wedding regardless of Merlin's feelings on the matter.

Good grief.

Morgana was now helping him to his feet as he attempted to maintain his balance with a six-foot plus load in his arms. Calming hands supported his back and Arthur smiled his thanks to his Godfather.

"Good idea," she agreed. "I'll get Giles to drive you to your apartment."

"I take it the way is clear?" Gaius asked once more. His gaze flitted from Morgana whom he was addressing to the burden in Arthur's arms. The man was transparently concerned.

Morgana was nodding and Gaius seemed comforted. Good for them. To be honest he couldn't give a bloody damn anymore, they could keep their secrets as long as they were planning on aiding and abetting his escape with Merlin to the safety and quiet of Arthur's apartment. Well safe from available alcohol or stray legs, which seemed drawn to men on crutches. Clumsy men on crutches.

Morgana led the way from the courtyard to the side road where Giles had the car waiting. Arthur stepped back as Gaius pulled open the door and Morgana murmured instructions to her driver through the lowered window. Once Merlin was buckled in, he sorted himself out, and then smiled fondly as the other man slumped sideways to rest a cheek on his shoulder. He watched the dark lashes flutter for a brief second before coming to rest over prominent cheekbones. Arthur jumped at a sudden hand on his other shoulder.

"I'll meet you at the flat a bit later, okay," Morgana insisted. "I have to remain here a bit longer to see the guests off."

He nodded impatiently then watched as his Godfather entered the vehicle by the other door.

"You'll need Gaius to look over Merlin," she explained. "You have your uses but first aid isn't one of them."

Arthur stared at her. "The fact that he's Merlin's Godfather might also be relevant," he added. Surely, that was a more pressing reason for the man wanting to come along too.

"Excuse me...what?" Morgana was gaping as her gaze darted from one man to the next.

Hah, he knew before her. That actually surprised him and he wondered what the exchanged looks had been about and what knowledge they _did_ share. Arthur was determined to hear it all. He was especially interested in whatever 'bastard' she had been referring.

"Oh, didn't you know Morgana?" Arthur queried with a superior smirk.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she grumbled to Gaius. "And when did _you _find out?" She asked Arthur.

Ah...well. That ruined it.

"Okay, I only found out tonight," he muttered, disgruntled. "Merlin spotted you and mentioned the fact," he told his Godfather.

Gaius was staring at Merlin with a softness that was rare and betrayed his caring for the man.

"I knew his mother well, watched him grow up as a young child but missed a huge chunk of his life. We only became reacquainted a few years back," he murmured quietly.

Arthur had noticed the tinge of regret in his Godfather's voice and wondered at the links, which bound the people in his life.

"We first met Merlin around that time," Morgana responded, just as softly.

She and Gaius both seemed to be thinking of something too sad to bear. Then their eyes connected and widened as if both had had an epiphany of sorts.

"That was _him_ tonight?" Gaius growled and his hands clenched at Morgana's nod.

"I heard him give the police his name, it was _definitely_ him," she said grimly. "And were you one of the doctors who...?" she asked and smiled grimly at his nod.

"I thought it was just some idiot who'd had too much," he said shakily. "After tonight, _especially,_ I want to be there for him," he whispered. "I've only seen him a little over the past few years, that's why I was so surprised to see him here. I had no idea you all knew each other."

Arthur watched in amazement as his usually stoic Godfather ran a trembling hand through grey, overlong hair. Morgana made soft, comforting sounds, which had Gaius reach out and pat her on the hand. They smiled and sent messages Arthur didn't understand. However, he would..._he would_, especiallyif they concerned Merlin. Actually not _if,_ for the situation was blatantly all about the man.

"I have to go back and make sure everything has calmed down," Morgana stated. She stared at them all fiercely, muttered she'd be at Arthur's as "soon as possible", and then slammed the car door.

*

There was silence at first as the car pulled away from the kerb and began to negotiate the late evening traffic.

"So why didn't you ever tell us about Merlin?" Arthur asked impatiently. "And what the hell happened tonight?"

Gaius had been watching Merlin but now he turned his attention to Arthur.

He shook his head in apparent self-disgust.

"If only I'd been there more then maybe it would never have happened." he appeared lost in thought or, perhaps, memories of the past.

"Hunith, his late mother," the older man explained, "She was like a sister to me as I grew up. I was there when Merlin was born, at the birth, as he went to school for the first time. Just as I watched you Arthur," he stared blindly. "But then I left for a new position in London, I lost touch, life took over as suddenly work was everything."

Arthur recalled how his Godfather had lived somewhere else when he'd been a child. A small town, the name escaped him, but he'd so looked forward to Gaius's visits that he'd never asked about where he was from. Then of course, Gaius had been in London all the time after his move there, so the place, or Merlin, had never come up. His Godfather was also one of the most private people he knew and it made sense that he would compartmentalize his life and relationships.

"I first saw Merlin again just over three years ago," Gaius explained. "I was called in urgently to assist in his treatment."

Thoughts racing, Arthur recalled Morgana's words. Merlin had been in a coma around that time. It had to be that! She'd asked if Gaius had been one of the doctors! It had to be the car crash…the ex he'd been fleeing.

"He lay in a coma for several months, _thank God he came back to us,_ and I could once more get to know my other Godson," Gaius said, with relief in every line of his face. Then he frowned. "But I've only seen him a few times since then, not nearly as much as I planned."

"You have that chance now," Arthur said and reached round Merlin to take the other man's hand. He squeezed tight. "We can all spend time together."

"I should have seen more of him after that but we were both so busy..." Gaius broke off, still lost in his thoughts, obviously not hearing him.

"Focus on the future," Arthur advised strongly. "Merlin is safe, he has friends who care for him and it seems who care for each other, little did we know it."

The other man's eyes cleared and he looked from Arthur to Merlin and smiled. "Yes."

"Tonight?" Arthur prodded. It seemed like Gaius knew far more than had been shared with _him _so far.

"Wait until we get back to the flat," the other man advised. "Don't worry, it looks as if you are one of the few people Merlin trusts. I'm sure he'll be prepared to confide in you," he reassured.

The man at his side shifted slightly. "Arthur," Merlin sighed, before settling once more.

Arthur glanced over at his Godfather who merely gestured with his hand as if to say _see, what did I tell you_.

Gods, he prayed that was the case. He desperately needed Merlin's trust.

"Initially though I fear that we'll have something unpleasant to tell him and I'd rather wait until Morgana is present and I'm sure Merlin is able to take the news," Gaius said in a tired voice.

Okay, he could wait. He'd have to. If it was advisable for Merlin's well being then he had no choice.

"Try not to worry Arthur," Gaius murmured. "Tonight something did happen but you were there for Merlin and he knew nothing of what occurred. You kept him safe from hi- that."

Arthur caught the slip, came up with a hundred scenarios as to what it meant, but finally let his head fall back to rest on soft, buttery leather. He would find out before the night was through.


	16. What happened!

Hi, here's the next chapter and huge thanks to socalrose (cheers Dx) for the beta skills. You rock! :D This one's for you.

*

The car came to a halt and Arthur reached over to unfasten Merlin's seatbelt. The door to his right opened to reveal Giles, who watched him enquiringly.

"Please take my key and open the main door," Arthur ordered and handed Giles the key. He remembered the small dragon charm dangling from the key was from Gwen. Hmm, he really had to remember to remove that. Arthur supposed it was a good sign he'd barely noticed its existence over the past few weeks.

While Morgana's driver went and unlocked the door, Arthur got out of the car then reached inside for Merlin. It was an awkward transition but finally he stood at the main entrance to the building with the other man in his arms.

Gaius took the key from Giles then told him to go back for Morgana.

"What floor again?" the older man asked, with two crutches under one arm. He punched in the appropriate button once they were all safely ensconced inside the lift.

"The penthouse, I should have remembered," the Gaius chuckled.

The silence was a little uncomfortable. Arthur decided it was mainly due to his own discomfort from Merlin's close proximity combined with his godfather's presence. Not a scene he'd ever expected to be party to.

Gaius exited first as the lift came to a standstill. There was only one door in the airy, bright hall. The elderly physician turned the key and held the door open as Arthur entered, making straight for his bedroom with his burden.

"Right, you idiot," Arthur muttered. "Have a lie down and sober up." He placed Merlin gently onto the bed, pulled off his shoes and jacket and loosened his shirt at the neck. He hissed and his body tensed as the marks on Merlin's ivory skin were revealed. The man looked so vulnerable lying there, eyes shut and body limp. Arthur carefully maneuvered him away from the edge of the bed and covered him with the thick duvet. He placed a soft kiss on the pale forehead, brushing against smooth, dark locks and tucked Merlin in. Stepping back, Arthur flicked on a nightlight before switching off the main one as he left the room. He remembered to leave the door ajar. The last thing he wanted was for Merlin to attempt to move and hurt himself; they should hear from his living room. Sighing he headed there in search of Gaius.

His godfather had helped himself to a coffee and a second mug sat on a coaster beside his usual chair. Arthur fell onto the seat and his eyes flickered shut.

"I'll just go check that his breathing is sound," Gaius said, putting his mug onto the coffee table and picking up the crutches. "I'll leave these by the bed."

Arthur appreciated his godfather's gesture; the man was a doctor after all and it might reassure him so he could relax a bit more thinking of Merlin in the other room in the state he was.

"Yeah, thanks," Arthur murmured, his lips twisted in a semblance of a smile. He sipped his drink, sighing as the flavour of whisky, mixed with coffee, seeped into his mouth and sent his taste buds tingling.

Gaius returned shortly and smiled as Arthur held his drink upward in a silent toast.

"Thought you would like that," the other man said in a bland tone but with a slight twinkle in his eye.

"Need it dear man, _need _it," Arthur moaned in bliss as he drank some more.

Pushing his dark, square frames up over his nose the older man smiled wryly. "Try not to worry, he will be fine, probably a bit sore but nothing that painkillers won't help."

Arthur nodded. "What about me?" he asked. "I could do with something."

Gaius rolled his eyes. "Stop being such a drama queen," he grumbled. "Honestly you're worse than Morgana!"

Oh, joy! Soon he'd have this type of tough love from her too; couldn't wait.

"What conversation are you having with yourself now?" his godfather asked.

_Oh no, none of that; none of the eye rolling_, Arthur thought. Aloud he said, "You know me too well."

After all, Merlin should be the focus here and with that in mind . . .

"I don't know what to do Gaius," he admitted. "Merlin's become a good friend but we haven't exchanged many confidences and it seems so much has happened that I don't know about . . ." Arthur ran out of steam and set his mug down with a bang before raking an unsteady hand through his hair. "I just want to help but how can I if I don't know!" he cried forcefully.

Arthur dragged his eyes upward, expecting Gaius to be shocked at his outburst. They'd both been taught emotions were to be controlled. To his surprise, the sharp eyes only held understanding and concern. He felt terrible, he should know by now that Gaius wasn't Uther. It didn't necessarily follow that emotions were nonexistent just because they remained mostly hidden. He could see it was true in Gaius's case unlike his father.

"I think it's clear Merlin is extremely important to you," Gaius began carefully. "He has been through a lot and if we all . . . you, Morgana and I . . . pull together then we can help him through anything."

Extremely important? Try a mass understatement.

"I can tell you more about Merlin's childhood and escapades until your stepsister gets here," Gaius suggested with a sympathetic smile.

He knew what he was trying to do and Arthur supposed it might be an entertaining way to distract him until Morgana arrived.

"Fine," he agreed. "But make it good or I'll be driving myself over to force her bodily back here to explain everything."

Gaius arched a brow, no doubt amused by his words but obviously taking Arthur seriously if his next words were any judge.

"Merlin was born in Ealdor, a small village near . . ."

As he droned on about Ealdor, Arthur smirked but wondered when this was going to become entertaining.

*

He now knew Merlin's weight at birth and had seen a picture of him as a baby with hair as black as pitch. Gaius was certainly thorough. Arthur had enjoyed listening to the tales of a young Merlin, who seemed to have been just as clumsy then as he was now. Equally, he'd appreciated the enjoyment his godfather had obviously found in reminiscing.

"I find he's changed very little since the age of six," Gaius was saying, "Apart from the alcohol intake, obviously."

Arthur laughed along with the other man and then they were quiet and got to their feet at the sound of someone entering the flat.

Morgana.

Unless Gwen had returned for whatever reason, Arthur decided, slightly hysterically. He could have cheered when his stepsister came through the arch wearing an exhausted smile.

"Thank God that's over!" she expressed thankfully and sat down beside Gaius.

"I'll get you a drink," he murmured and left the two stepsiblings alone.

"He's fine," Arthur grunted, pre-empting any such questions. He wanted to get to the story of tonight.

"Thanks." Morgana grasped hold of the proffered mug and leaned back into the cushioned seat, to sip hesitantly at the scalding brew.

"Mmm, just what I needed," she groaned, "Practically stewed tea."

Arthur wondered if she'd stop salivating long enough to share her version of the night's events.

"Oh stop your pouting, I'll get to it in a second," she moaned seemingly reading his mind.

Hmm, not so subtle then? His hands were tapping slightly on the arms of his chair. He admitted he felt anxious about hearing what had happened tonight.

"I think if we start with tonight," Gaius advised.

Morgana was nodding and Arthur had to bite his tongue to prevent lashing out because of his impatience. He wasn't used to being out of the loop or having to wait for anything.

"While you boys were sitting by the rink," she began, "Someone decided to crash my party."

Not a welcome crasher he was assuming going by the flashing eyes.

"The bastard?" Arthur queried.

The pair on the sofa exchanged worried glances.

"I didn't realise what was going on," Gaius explained. "All I could assume was the man, who was behaving extremely aggressively, was under the influence of excessive quantities of alcohol or recreational drugs."

Morgana studied her fingers avidly then looked at Arthur apprehensively. "I realised who it was as soon as I heard him tell the police his name. He was too out of it to be smart enough to lie."

"Who?" Arthur urged, ready to explode if this tiptoeing around the truth continued.

"Edwin," Morgana exclaimed. "It was a man called Edwin who crashed my party and was the . . ." She paused, nervously biting her lip but appearing enraged simultaneously.

"Tell me," Arthur growled.

Gaius patted her back. "I didn't know at the time but when we came out to find you both I realised from what Morgana said who the man was," he said quietly. "He was in a rage, asking for Merlin, said he knew he was present and that Merlin was his!"

They both appeared tense, and obviously not enjoying the rehashing of the night's events.

Morgana faced the situation. "Edwin is the man who gave Merlin those scars Arthur," she whispered. "He is the ex who he ran from only to become involved in a crash."

"I was one of the doctors who treated Merlin," Gaius added. "It was touch and go for a long time but he pulled through. The lad's a fighter."

Arthur's thoughts, words, feelings ran amok. That _person_ had been close . . . so close to Merlin. Moreover, to claim him _still_ after what he'd _done! _

Arthur got to his feet and paced the length of room only to retrace his steps repeatedly.

"Arthur, sit down, you're making me nervous," Morgana urged.

_Hah, as if he cared at a moment like this!_ The only thought in his head was . . . _that bastard was there – there_! Moreover, he hadn't known. In a way, the sane part of him, which wavered close to the edge, declared that a good thing. Arthur supposed it was better for Merlin that he was here for him rather than locked up but it would have been so satisfying . . .

"Agh!" he yelled, hitting his fist against the wall.

"Ssh, you'll wake him," Morgana hissed.

Gaius had got to his feet and stood facing him, forcing eye contact. It worked as it always did, and Arthur found himself sitting, with a glass of brandy cradled in his hands.

He hated brandy. Looking at Gaius, he decided he hated that look more. Taking a gulp, wincing at the burn, he let his head fall back and his eyes closed.

"Better," the other man stated matter of fact.

Arthur peeked open a burning blue eye and exhaled slowly as his Godfather's cool look slowly doused the flames. Perhaps not entirely, that was impossible, but he wanted to hear it all and that wouldn't happen if he didn't regain some self-control.

"So what happened?" he prodded. "I take it the police took him away?"

_Gods, they'd bloody better have_. _If that person wanted to live through the night, then they'd_ _fucking_ _better have_.

They nodded and he saw the grim satisfaction in their eyes. He felt no such satisfaction, only rage that all the punishment the bastard would get was a tiny cell with poor amenities. An image of Merlin's scars came into his head and he produced a low snarl, which brought Morgana's head up in shock from where she'd returned briefly to inspect her nails.

"He's not getting out tonight, but we have to think of protecting Merlin," Morgana murmured. He's been in hiding for so long and it seems that it was the article on you and Merlin which alerted Edwin to his whereabouts."

_It was partially his fault! _

"No, it's not your fault, you idiot," she scolded once again reading him correctly. "It was bound to happen eventually that the arse would discover him, but this time he has us to help."

Arthur heard the silent_ . . . not like last time. __Gods! Merlin had suffered alone_. Well not anymore, he'd make sure this Edwin had the book thrown at him, no matter the cost.

"I'm not telling you more about his past," Morgana warned. "That's for him to reveal, if he chooses, but it's only fair that we tell you about tonight. You care for him too, I can see that clearly, and you can help make sure he remains safe."

"Yes," he agreed. "We will make sure that this doesn't touch Merlin in,"

A voice spoke over Arthur, "Too late, I've heard it all."

They all turned to see Merlin leaning against the doorframe, crutches in hand, and staring at Arthur with an indecipherable look on his face.


	17. Protector

Thanks Dori *hugs*

*

It was as if he'd frozen in place. Arthur watched as Merlin shot him one pain-filled look then hobbled from the room. The idiot wasn't even using his crutches properly, wobbling precariously as he disappeared from view. This reminder of just how much support the man needed, and why, brought Arthur to his feet. He shot warning looks at Morgana and Gaius before following Merlin.

"Call if you nee..." Morgana's voice called after him but he scarcely heard and didn't acknowledge.

The balcony; Merlin had gone where_ he _went to de-stress. The fresh air always soothed and as he approached he observed the hunched shoulders and tense frame and hoped it would have the same effect on Merlin.

The other man stiffened further as he drew level and leaned against the railing.

"Hi," Arthur murmured. He stared straight ahead but knew instantly when Merlin's eyes were on him.

"He's back," Merlin said quietly and Arthur swiveled to face him. Pale as a ghost, he appeared exhausted, which was no surprise considering. There was pain in those deep blue eyes, which caught at Arthur's heart and made him want to erase it all.

Merlin laughed softly, "And now you know." His laughter transformed into wracking sobs.

"I'm glad I know, I want to help," he replied emphatically.

"You can't," Merlin choked out. "And why should you want to?" He held his head in one hand, while the other gripped the railing, and sighed, "Just go away Arthur, leave me alone."

It took Arthur a few seconds to fight the urge to slap the prat over the head and shout at him. He restrained the impulse and merely moved nearer and briefly touched Merlin's arm.

"Listen and listen well Merlin," he said directly into one endearingly sticking out ear. "I may have at one time been a bit of an idiot and not realised your worth but that time is gone, you understand?" He watched the slim throat move as Merlin swallowed. He focused on Merlin's throat because the thought of eye contact made his mouth grow dry. He saw enough to see that Merlin was nodding his assent.

"I care about you; I'll make sure that this Ed. . ." he paused as the throat bobbed once more. "No one will hurt you, not if I have anything to do with it, and you know how terrifying Morgana is when she gets going," he pointed out. "That doesn't include Gaius and anyone else you have hiding away who also loves you that I haven't met yet."

"Love?" Merlin whispered.

Arthur's head jerked up as if pulled by a string, Merlin had sounded almost . . . hopeful. However, that was ridiculous; Merlin didn't view him that way and now was hardly the time to make a move.

Arthur firmed his jaw and brazened it out, "You're practically family after all." He reached over and ruffled the messy, black head of hair. Merlin squeaked loudly and a hand was suddenly on his, warm and fingers curling around his own.

"Thanks," Merlin murmured his expression strangely wistful.

Butterflies fluttered in his stomach and to hide his confusion he tugged at one of _those _ears.

"Stop that," Merlin cried. He was laughing though and Arthur felt an answering grin light up his face. It felt natural as he stroked one of Merlin's cheekbones. The laughter stopped as they stared into each other's eyes.

"Is it safe?" Morgana queried from the doorway, breaking the moment, and walked toward them with Gaius not far behind.

"I'm going to be fine," Merlin reassured her. "This big goon charged in to save the day."

Morgana rolled her eyes. "Surprise me why don't you," she said sarcastically.

"Hey!" Arthur cried and glowered at her as everyone else chuckled.

Merlin smiled shyly at Gaius, looking a little apprehensive and no doubt fearing his Godfather's reaction to his behaviour.

"Hi Gaius," he mumbled.

"What am I going to do with you, my boy," Gaius grumbled, then ruined the effect by going in for a swift hug. "Right, come on son, let's get you a seat," he ordered in his best physician's voice.

Arthur watched them head back toward the living room, via the kitchen, smiling as he watched Gaius force Merlin to listen as he demonstrated how to use the crutches.

"But they make me more clumsy than usual," he heard faintly from the other room. _Hah! That would be difficult_, Arthur thought. "Better than being laid up longer than you need to be by injuring that foot worse than it is!" Gaius scolded.

He could see Merlin was in safe hands. Now Arthur should find out why Morgana had stayed and was staring at him.

"Come on then," he grumbled. "What have I done now?"

She continued to stare expressionless until, slowly, a delighted smile transformed her face.

"What?" he demanded impatiently, as she approached.

"Thanks honey," she spoke quietly. "You stepped up and made this a hell of a lot better for Merlin than the potential mess it could have been."

"Oh." Arthur shrugged. "It," he began.

"Don't say it's nothing." She was reading his mind again. "You make him feel safe Arthur; you always have, even when in the past you couldn't look at him without being a prat."

_Nothing like being honest_, he thought. Arthur was confused and it must have shown.

"Think about it you clot, what he's been through, his inability to trust his ex, Will," she murmured. "Then look at how he's never been afraid of you."

_That was wrong, hadn't Merlin been jumpy and on edge in the early days_?

When he mentioned the fact, Morgana smiled wryly. "Perhaps there was another reason behind his tension?"

Arthur wanted to ask more questions and understand what she was hinting at but Morgana had already turned and stepped indoors.

Gaius was sitting beside Merlin, who had his legs elevated on the recliner. They were talking amongst themselves quietly but stopped and looked up as he and Morgana entered the room.

"How's the head?" Arthur asked. "And I'm guessing the leg is still painful."

"Gaius gave me some strong painkillers for the leg and I think the sleep did wonders for my head," Merlin said, blushing as Arthur raised a brow. "I wasn't that drunk was I?"

"If by not much you mean not swinging from the chandeliers," Arthur stated. "Then no you weren't bad."

A cushion sailed by his head and Arthur ducked with a cry of "Hey!"

"Serves you right," Morgana announced, and sat on one of the armchairs, pulling at the lever for the recliner.

"Stop looking so worried," Merlin grumbled. "Sure I was mad at first when I heard you all gossiping like old women." He smiled as they began to protest, then he seemed to visibly wilt. "Yes, I felt scared when I heard about Edwin, but I can't let him rule my life any longer," he stated in a stronger tone. "I've done enough hiding I think and, anyway, I have my own personal protector now," he grinned, looking over at Arthur.

He could feel his cheeks get hot at the look, which revealed Merlin's vulnerability and his trust in Arthur. He felt humbled and prayed that he would live up to that blind faith.

"I asked that I be informed as soon as he's released," Morgana murmured.

Arthur and Gaius exchanged looks as Merlin stammered, "What, you think he'll get let out?"

_Not as calm as he had seemed then._ Arthur couldn't say he was surprised but he was determined to banish all shadows from Merlin's life – Edwin being the first to go.

"Sorry love, but they are going to keep him in a cell until he sobers up, probably for the night, and then release him pending payment of a fine," she explained.

Arthur got to his feet. "Which station?" he asked to the room in general.

"Charing Cross," Gaius answered, looking briefly over at Merlin with concern.

"Excuse me a moment," Arthur muttered, and left the room, walking the length of the corridor to his bedroom and shutting the door. He pulled out his mobile and after contacting directory enquiries, called the number provided and asked about Edwin. His expression darkened as he listened and immediately after hanging up, dialed another number. He repeated his question and listened to the explanation. "Yes," he answered, in reply to what the person asked. "Do that and keep me informed."

Hanging up abruptly, he raked a hand through his hair and went back to join the others. As he approached, he overheard Morgana mention his name. Arthur couldn't fault her suggestion.

"I can't just invite myself Morgana!" Merlin exclaimed in response. "It would make more sense for me to stay with,"

"Excuse me, but shut up," Arthur ordered. "I think it's a great idea," he declared, talking over the other man as he finally entered the room. He almost laughed at the way Merlin's mouth fell open. Arthur felt an urge to cover that extremely kissable mouth with his own and quickly redirected his attention to his godfather.

"I agree with them Merlin," Gaius advised. "Edwin doesn't know where Arthur lives." Merlin began to grumble that Edwin didn't know where _he_ lived either. "I know but I'd prefer you weren't alone and I'm sure deep down if you'd stop being so stubborn you feel the same way," Gaius pointed out. He looked stern and his tough love seemed to affect Merlin as it did Arthur.

"Fine," Merlin pouted but actually didn't appear that put out.

"You'll be fine here with Arthur," Morgana agreed. "It's late, or should I say early; we'd better leave you both to get some sleep."

"I don't think we should disturb Giles at this hour," Gaius advised.

Arthur nodded. "I'll give you the keys for the Jag," he stated. Snatching them from the bowl by the door, he threw them to Gaius who caught them neatly.

"We'll say bye here, save you getting up Merlin," Morgana murmured, watching him fondly. She leaned in for a brief hug and kiss.

Poor guy couldn't breathe. Arthur coughed pointedly but refused to accept it had been due to envy that she got to hold the slender man so close.

Gaius said his goodbyes and Arthur saw them out to the car.

"Be careful with my baby," he warned, eyes narrowed as Morgana stroked a finger down the bonnet with a smirk. The witch knew how much he loved the car.

"Don't get your knickers in a twist, it'll be fine and I'm a wonderful driver," she said.

"You're not driving!" he practically shrieked.

"Now children," Gaius scolded at the same time.

Arthur huffed and grumbled, "Fine, but I'll be checking and if there's one minute scratch. . . ." He stopped to let her imagination supply the revenge he would take.

She chuckled as she slammed the door shut, but when it came to reversing from the parking space, did so extremely carefully.

After waving them off with one final glare, Arthur retraced his steps back to the flat, anxious not to leave Merlin alone for any significant length of time.


	18. How I feel

Thanks lots and lots Socalrose :D

*

He entered the living room calling Merlin's name, then stilled at the sight before him. Lying on the sofa, eyes closed and chest rising and falling evenly, Merlin looked as innocent as a babe. His knuckles whitened as he thought of Edwin and pictured the damage, on that smooth, pale skin. If Arthur had been around back then, the man would have paid for his abuse. As it stood, he may not have long to wait to make that a reality.

His mobile distracted him, alerting him to the fact that he'd received a text. It also disturbed the man on his sofa. Long, slim arms stretched upward and out, lifting the shirt and revealing an expanse of pale, flesh. Arthur's eyes followed the narrow trail of hair, which furrowed down to disappear under Merlin's waistband. He felt a sudden compulsion to lick his tongue along it and follow where it led. Then he realised that Merlin had twisted his head round as far as his neck would allow and was staring up at him in the doorway.

Arthur quickly schooled his expression. When a dark brow lifted in innocent query, he decided in relief that he had got away with it.

"Why were you staring?" Merlin asked.

_Perhaps not_.

Merlin blushed a vibrant shade of red and muttered, "No, forget I asked, I just thought. . ." he nibbled at his lower lip. Funny how things changed – now Arthur could only view the action as adorable.

"You thought what?" Arthur asked, deciding he'd skirted around his feelings enough. He'd never felt this way about anyone and it felt so right. His relationship with Gwen had been lacking something; although there had been excitement in the beginning it had steadily become less of a relationship and more a friendship. He had no guarantees Merlin liked him in that way, bloody hell he would probably stare at him in shock, but he had to try and already he was breathless just looking at the man.

Arthur walked over and sat on the arm of the recliner, careful not to jar Merlin's leg.

"Erm . . . do . . . do you want a drink?" he asked desperately unsure where to start. Merlin stared wide-eyed and could only shake his head. Arthur raked a hand through his hair muttering, "Well I do!" He almost ran to the kitchen, poured a large whisky without ice and slowly sat back down.

"Are you alright?" Merlin wondered. He kept worrying his lower lip and peeking up at him, in an uncomfortably arousing way. Arthur crossed his legs and clasped his hands in his lap.

_If he didn't stop that nibbling, there would be no stopping his own assault of that mouth.___

Arthur remembered he'd received a text message and pulled out his mobile quickly scanning the text on his phone. _Bloody right, they'd get Edwin!_ he thought and threw the mobile onto one of the armchairs.

"Who was that?" Merlin asked anxiously, uncomfortable with the fierce look in Arthur's eyes. Arthur glanced up, finally, to see the nervous expression on Merlin's face.

He was a prat! Of course, Merlin would be anxious, fearful. He had been through so much and now his violent ex was on the prowl and had been so close to confronting him. "Just a colleague," he said. Not entirely a lie, but he wasn't going to tell Merlin the truth, not until he had dealt with the situation and Edwin.

"Are you sure it's alright for me to stay?" the other man asked. "You just seem a bit tense and if it's me . . . ."

"No, you prat!" Arthur interrupted, appreciating the brief flash of temper in those blue eyes. He knew there was a fiery side to Merlin's personality; it just lay mostly dormant at present, underneath his current cloak of fear. "I have something to tell you and you might be horrified," he mumbled. He imagined Morgana beside herself with glee at his awkwardness and decided enough was enough. "I love you," he blurted out, and then downed his whisky in one fell swoop.

_Oh, fucking hell. What had he done?_ he thought. There was no escape – he was at home for Pete's sake.

Time stood still; his breathing filling the silence. Then something registered, something previously unnoticed – Merlin was crying.

"Oh God, I'm sorry, I didn't . . . didn't mean," he stuttered, panicked he'd made a dreadful mistake.

Arthur wondered when he'd become such a coward as he forced himself to meet Merlin's gaze. He didn't want to but he couldn't stand hearing Merlin cry, especially knowing it was his fault. What he saw surprised him.

Merlin was smiling; his eyes were anyway, even if his cheeks were wet from tears. Did that mean? Arthur was afraid to say anymore so he waited.

"Say that again," the other man murmured and Arthur thought for a horrific moment he was being made fun of before sense returned and he remembered the type of person Merlin was. Ah well, even if Merlin didn't feel the same at least he would no longer feel the pressure of hiding his feelings.

Gathering his courage, he said clearly, "I love you." He prepared for the worst.

Merlin carefully sat up, maintained eye contact, and then seized Arthur's hands. They felt sweaty and they were shaking. Although he would never admit it aloud.

"You utter clot pole!" Merlin exclaimed and then jerked him forward; ignoring Arthur's warning cries about his leg, and planted a firm kiss on Arthur's mouth.

"Mmmph!" Arthur managed, against soft, full lips. To be honest he didn't struggle to manage more. There was more enjoyment to be had than from speaking at present.

He almost moaned as the other man drew back.

"Clot pole?" he asked archly but couldn't really pull it off as he felt his mouth curve into a ridiculous grin.

Merlin beamed. "Yup," he stated and leant forward to press his nose into Arthur's throat.

It was cold, slightly ticklish, but Arthur wouldn't have moved for the world. When did he become so sappy?

Merlin sheltered his face beneath his chin. Considering not much had been said or done, Arthur felt sublimely happy.

Arthur felt a long drawn out yawn blow against his neck and he pressed Merlin back gently to view his sleepy eyes and tired smile.

"Time for bed I think," he murmured and smiled at the pleased grin on the other man's face.

"Oh no, none of that," he decreed. "You can have my bed but I'll take the room next door, we don't want your ankle kicked in the night by mistake."

Merlin pouted. "But I want to," he grumbled. When Arthur shook his head again, he hung his head but then ran a hand slowly up his shoulder only to wildly ruffle Arthur's hair.

"Hey!" Arthur cried, but couldn't help but roll his eyes in amusement at the victorious gleam in the man's eyes.

"Revenge is sweet," Merlin murmured, eyes dancing and head cocked sideways.

"We'll talk in the morning," Arthur said after poking the gloating git in the stomach, then revised that to, "later this morning," as he glanced at the clock.

Merlin was too tired to protest and allowed Arthur to carry him to the master bedroom.

Arthur helped him struggle into a pair of pyjamas, averting his eyes as he saw the scars. As far as Merlin knew, he was unaware of them. He heard a low intake of breath and knew that that had now changed. He grasped the pale, pointed chin carefully and tilted it so that there was no avoiding what he had to say. Merlin concentrated on a spot near his collarbone.

"I'm sorrier than I can say," Arthur muttered. "But don't you _dare _think that they are all I see. They are a sign you survived. You survived then and we'll survive now," he declared, and continued to observe Merlin sternly until he met his eyes then nodded once, eyes wide and hopeful.

"When did you see?" the other man asked, swallowing slowly and looking ashamed despite Arthur's words. Arthur would spend his life changing that!

"The hospital, when we visited and you were asleep," Arthur replied. "Forget it for now," he advised, stroking Merlin's jaw. "I want us to have a fresh start and an opportunity to talk this out, but after things have settled."

Purposefully he bent over and pressed tender kisses to the marred skin, which he still found beautiful. He heard Merlin suck in his breath, and then fingers were tangling in his hair, tugging him upward for an urgent kiss. They broke apart breathless but Merlin's eyes were shining.

_Mission accomplished_.

Arthur tucked Merlin in, taking extra care when pulling over the duvet. "Ssh," he whispered, putting a finger over Merlin's lips as he seemed about to speak. "Get some rest, I'm just next door."

Arthur walked to the door and turned to see Merlin staring, avidly.

_Gods, Merlin looked as hungry as he felt!__  
_  
He smiled blindly, muttered a quick "night" and closed the door before temptation overcame his decision to wait.

He retrieved his mobile and headed to the balcony once more, where he could feel the cool night air; Arthur reopened his inbox and read the text once more.

**I'm outside, will let U knw if E leaves. Will send update in morning otherwise. Shouldn't b out b 4 10am. ******

Arthur breathed deeply and re-read it several times. Leon was his right hand man and wouldn't let him down.

Satisfied that he could get some sleep, and that Merlin was safe, he headed to bed and the dubious delights of a Peter Pan duvet.  
**  
***

The screeching of his alarm was penetrating his sense of wellbeing. His body felt enveloped in warmth as cosy as freshly tumbled towels and Arthur sighed as it wriggled nearer...wait. He opened his eyes and stared into sleepy, mischievous blue – _Merlin_. He had snuggled in, much as he had the night before on the sofa.

"You muppet!" Arthur cried. "What about your leg?"

Merlin mumbled something sheepishly.

"Speak up," Arthur ordered, frowning as he lifted the duvet to study Merlin's ankle. That had been a miscalculation of gigantic proportions as his eyes swept over the other man, only taking in the ankle for a second or two at most as he found himself thoroughly distracted. Somehow he'd failed to notice how arousing it was when another man...no, _Merlin_, wore his pyjamas.

"I didn't want to be alone," the other man mumbled, slightly louder than before, but still with the hangdog expression.

"Oh, stop looking so woebegone," Arthur complained, but his manner changed as he fully registered the words. He became gentle as he carefully replaced the covering and brushed the messy fringe from Merlin's forehead.

"You said you love me?" Merlin husked. "I didn't dream it?"

His hand froze as Arthur stared into hesitantly smiling eyes.

"No, you didn't dream it," he whispered and closed his eyes.

A hand brushed over his lids, as soft as a breeze, but Arthur felt it as strongly as the force of a hurricane.

His eyes opened, only for him to blink in shock, as _that_ face was now mere inches from his own.

"You love me," Merlin smirked. He flashed a dimple and tugged at his lower lip.

_When had this shy man become a bloody tease?___

He distracted himself by grabbing his mobile, switching off the bloody annoying beeping, and then scanning the text, which had arrived from Leon mere minutes before.

**Rise & shine! Stil in cells, get ere soon as, E should b out within the hr. ****  
**  
"I have to get up," Arthur grunted. _Before I disgrace myself by acting like a horny adolescent, __he thought.__  
_  
When a hand grabbed his arm, Arthur hunted for a way to slow down the frightening speed of whatever this was. He didn't want to rush Merlin, when he might not want this or be ready for it. What if it was merely gratitude he felt?

"Edwin," he began matter of fact, and then winced as a shutter came down over Merlin's face and he sunk back to his side of the bed.

Arthur berated himself for being a fool. "I want to help you forget him, be here for you."

Then he realised that in the clear light of day he was admitting once more to feelings, strong feelings, for this man. Strangely, it felt as natural as breathing or, in his world, snarking with Morgana.

A smile lit up Merlin's face. "You mean that?"

"I do," Arthur whispered, and ignoring the other man's pout, slid from the bed to shrug on his dressing gown.

"Wait here and get some rest," he commanded. "I've got to go out for a bit, but I'll call Morgana and see if she can come round."

Merlin looked disappointed but nodded and sighed deeply as Arthur stole a quick kiss before leaving the room.

He dialled Morgana's number. Thank the Lord she, like most people, had time off for Christmas.

Finally, after much well meant advice on exactly how to threaten and maim, _No matter how many times he'd protested his intentions toward Edwin, _Morgana had hung up. He'd explained that he had the man under surveillance and was now going to ensure he never bothered Merlin again. She'd wholeheartedly approved.

Arthur strolled back to check on Merlin and found him half asleep, snuggled under the quilt, with his head resting on Tinker bell's face.

"Morgana is coming round shortly," he said, repeating in his head why he had to leave and meet Leon. Studying the man in the bed it was proving difficult to find a reason important enough to leave.

"Be careful," Merlin murmured, looking anxious, obviously having an idea of where Arthur was going and his intent.

Ah yes, Edwin, a very good reason to leave. If only so that once the louse had been dealt with, he could return to Merlin, and inform him that he need no longer be afraid.

"Morgana is on her way, don't worry she has a key, you get some sleep," he advised and leant in for one more kiss before closing the door.


	19. Edwin

Apologies for delay (grovels)Real life and my uni course being a ***** !

*****

Arthur strode up to the black painted door, with the large brass knocker, and took several deep breaths before using the brass knocker. His features hardened as he heard approaching footsteps and imagined the forthcoming confrontation. They softened slightly as the door swung open to reveal Leon, poker-faced and smartly dressed in a tailored suit with matching tie. Arthur attempted to keep a straight face and managed to keep his reaction to the lifting of an eyebrow. It wasn't often you were given the opportunity to see the man dressed up like a 'dog's dinner' – Leon's words.

"Don't say a word," the other man muttered, tapping hands by his side in obvious discomfort.

For as long as Arthur had known him, going on twenty 23 years now, Leon had been the jock to end all jocks. Well, discounting himself of course and perhaps Lance – he was hard pushed to recall a time when he'd seen Leon without the trademark trainers and sweatpants. He was ideal as Arthur's second in command when it came to his chain of fitness centres. He just never came to work suited up.

Arthur shrugged, shooting an innocent smile. "You look nice," he commented, then smirked at Leon's filthy glare.

"Are you going to stand on my front step all day or do you want to deal with this git?" he grumbled and stepped back with a grunt of amusement as Arthur shouldered past.

He came to a halt almost immediately and turned to face his friend and colleague. "Where is he?" he asked grimly, all humour fleeing as he referred to Edwin.

"In the basement, restrained as requested," Leon replied promptly but with a glint in his eye as if he was taking the piss.

"The basement!" Arthur exclaimed. "Could you be anymore cliché?" For Gods sake, next he'd be hearing that a few fingers had been lopped off or a couple of toes. Not that the twat didn't deserve it and more.

"Relax," Leon replied with a grin. "That's where I keep my old drum kit," he explained, "It's soundproofed, which will be useful for us, eh?"

"What?" Arthur cried. _Bloody hell_.

Arthur glared when his friend snorted at his reaction, holding his sides. "Kidding," Leon protested, holding up his hands. "This is a quiet neighbourhood, but I thought it might help put the fear of God into the git, even if we don't intend to actually, _you know_."

_Arthur was afraid he did know._"You've been watching far too many gangster films," he complained. "The Godfather is not real life, we are not hoodlums, and stop taking the piss," he finished crossly. "This is serious."

Leon had the grace to appear abashed. "Sorry, I know he was an evil git to Merlin," he mumbled. "Got a little carried away."

Arthur sighed. He had had to share a small part of Merlin's story with the other man, well what Leon needed to know in reference to Edwin. It wasn't fair to ask such an enormous favour of a friend without the slightest explanation. Leon hadn't and probably wouldn't have pried, as they had a longstanding friendship based on trust, but Arthur had believed he deserved to know why he had been ordered to capture a complete stranger.

The main objective _was_ to put the fear of God into the bastard, so that he wouldn't even think for a second about approaching Merlin again. What scared Arthur was he knew if Edwin ever did, despite their warnings, he wouldn't hesitate to do the man serious bodily harm. It wasn't what Arthur felt comfortable with in general but his upbringing meant he was well trained in how to be ruthless. Uther had taught him well until he'd flown the nest in disgust. His strong instinct to protect Merlin from that bastard overrode a lot of his revulsion for violence but he would try to restrict himself to the plan of action he'd devised. He raked a hand through his hair, watched as the door closed and then Leon had passed him to lead him down the hall.

When he had left his flat, and Merlin, this morning, he had originally planned to meet Leon at the police station. However, his friend had texted saying Edwin had been released and that he was keeping track of him. Arthur had texted back ordering the man be seized and taken somewhere quiet and appropriate for his purposes. He had received the following text.

**At the 'pile' & have E, come ASAP. All fine**.

He had trusted Leon to come up with a suitable place and this fitted the bill. The 'Pile' as it was commonly referred to by Leon was an old family home which Arthur had visited only once when he had been young and never since. His friend preferred to live in an ultra modern apartment near Canary Wharf and so mostly it lay empty. Leon's text to meet him there had been approved for its location, which was discreet.

Arthur watched as the other man opened what appeared to be a cupboard then gestured for him to go in. Appearances were deceptive, he realised, as he observed the spiral staircase, which led down into darkness. A light glow far below, was the only sign that there was an end to the gloom.

"After you," Leon said with a mocking bow.

_Prat._ Nevertheless, Arthur clapped him on the back as he passed in appreciation for his help. Leon inclined his head, smiling faintly. Then he also wiped the smile from his face as they began to descend the stairs.

Arthur felt the tension leave him and, strangely, he grew calmer the lower they descended. He blocked all images and thoughts of Merlin and took deep breaths. He was no use to him if he lost his temper and did something he regretted. _Or not_, he snarled under his breath as he reached the flat of the basement and studied the tightly bound figure sitting strapped to a metal chair. No, he couldn't lose it now. A calming hand grasped his shoulder and dug in deep, warningly. Arthur nodded briefly before walking into the dim light of the room.

It was difficult to tell how far back the area stretched but he didn't care, only having eyes for the man before him, blindfolded and gagged.

Arthur turned to the man standing by his side. "Soundproof, eh?" he asked.

"It is!" Leon insisted. "The git has a foul mouth."

Arthur studied it and glowered. Not the only part to be so, he knew. Those hands, which were out of sight, had hurt, and terrorised_ his _Merlin. He felt his own begin to shake.

"Steady," Leon murmured, maintaining his hold.

"Take off his blindfold," he ordered, eyes never leaving their target and burning bright with emotion. Arthur swiftly assumed a blank mask to cover his feelings as he watched the other man move over toward Edwin.

He may have lost sight and speech but not his hearing. Since their arrival, their prisoner had squirmed on his seat to no avail, and grunted quietly or as loud as his gag would allow.

Arthur remained standing until the tie was removed and finally he could meet _his _eyes...Edwin's eyes.

_Bastard. Utter bastard._

He felt unimaginable fury but it did not show on Arthur's face, he knew that it didn't. Uther had taught him well, instructing that he practise in front of mirrors to his satisfaction. Confident in his self-control and reveling in the transparent desperation in the other man's, Arthur pulled up a chair and smiled.

He could have sworn he heard Leon snort, but he ignored the man standing guard behind their captive to focus on the growing panic in fearful eyes. A loud babble of sound made its way through the material covering his mouth.

"Let him speak too," Arthur commanded, fingers steepled as he narrowed his eyes at the now furiously wriggling man. His expression still revealed his anxiety but the expression on Edwin's face also held a world of malice.

_Come on then, _Arthur thought, wearing a shark's smile. He didn't have long to wait as Leon yanked the gag from the man's face.

"Pendragon!" it was spat at him and if looks could have killed . . . as the old saying went.

He fixed his stare on the man, boring a hole with blazing blue eyes. Arthur felt a savage satisfaction as he caught the flinch, which Edwin hastened to hide. _Oh, none of that_, he crowed in his head, _don't hide it for God's sake. I want to see you suffer, tremble with fear, just as Merlin did_.

He lifted a hand negligently to partially conceal his mouth and then yawned discreetly, the way Morgana always grumbled he should in civilised society. Here...now, he was aiming for a rather different effect. Certainly, the company was far from civilised. He savoured the last of his yawn then stretched arms high above his head, hooding his eyes slightly as he watched with pleasure the stiff way Edwin sat, hands clenched on a hard-edged metal seat.

"The simple pleasures in life are free, don't you think?" he asked with a quirk of the lips. He almost laughed aloud at the look on the other man's face and he was positive this time he heard Leon snort. It quickly became a cough.

"What do you want Pendragon?" Edwin sputtered, face blotchy with anger and twisted to shape an ugly glare.

"I think we need to have a little talk about touching what is mine," Arthur said blandly but he kept his gaze fixed on the other man intently.

Merlin would have a fit if he heard Arthur talk about him like this but it couldn't be helped and he did not intend to share this conversation with him.

"What?" It was growled at him before a glimmer of understanding lit up small, mean orbs. "Ah…the slut," he decreed.

It was with amazement that Arthur found he hadn't moved to strangle or perhaps snap the man's neck.

"Oh I don't think you are in any position to talk in that way about someone I value so highly," he whispered softly. He almost hissed it to reveal his sincerity and underlying impatience. If Edwin translated that to tottering on the edge of torturing his evil arse then that worked for Arthur. As long as he stayed away!

He felt in his pocket and removed a shining silver object, which had been a gift from his father. One of the few he had kept, for its usefulness and mainly because it had been his maternal grandfathers.

He ran a thumb across the sharp edge and heard a harsh intake of breath, looking up to observe the colour on Edwin's face flee.

_Yes, you fucker. Let your imagination run riot._

"This isn't you," the other man protested, obviously uncertain. "You give to charity, not like Uther," he sneered as he spoke the name.

Edwin was watching as Arthur got to his feet with increasing panic. He swung his head wildly to pinpoint Leon. "Tell him, you son of a bitch," he cried. "That skinny freak isn't worth this."

He seemed to realise his error as swiftly as he'd spoken. Edwin's eyes met his in terror and Arthur pressed the point under his jaw. This is for you Merlin, he thought with satisfaction.

Leon coughed behind him. Arthur's eyes flew up and he saw concern in the other man's face. He reached up a hand and held it flat, palm upward. Edwin didn't pay attention, eyes focused on the knife, but Leon's shoulders sagged in relief. It was useful that they had an unspoken language due to the length of their friendship. Open palm meant no action.

Obviously, he was more frightening than he'd believed. Arthur knew he would kill for Merlin but like Leon he preferred other methods of persuasion and retribution. You could make a man suffer in other ways.

"Skinny freak?" he pondered soft . . . too softly. Leon was trying to cover a smirk again.

"Are you talking about Merlin, the man you cut and scarred probably with a blade much like this?" he asked and didn't move a muscle as Leon hissed his shock. He would ensure his silence after but Arthur knew he could trust his friend and right now, he would do and say what was necessary to banish this man.

Edwin was paler than ever, no doubt shocked that Arthur should know of his actions.

"Oh yes I know. Like I said, Merlin is _mine_ now and I will _not_ perm . . ." Arthur dragged the blade across the fragile stretch of neck, ". . . will _not _permit anyone harming a hair on his head."

He grinned, lips curved but eyes cold as ice. "In fact in your case I would go further," he whispered. "If you remain in the same country or attempt to go near Merlin, or get anyone else to do so. . . " he trailed off to smile menacingly. He watched in grim amusement as Edwin swallowed noisily. "I will have to kill you," he finished brightly.

Now Edwin would think him mad or madly possessive. Either way it worked for Arthur.

"I would listen to him if I were you," Leon cackled. "The rest of his family are even worse and just as protective of Merlin."

Edwin was beginning to hyperventilate and perhaps he should take the sharp end of the blade away now Arthur supposed. It was dangerously near a major artery.

"Whatever you say," he sobbed now, all aggression gone. To be honest after his initial snarl of Arthur's name he had faded to the weak little bully he was.

Arthur hoped he would never have turned out like that but he was still grateful once more for the intervention of Gaius when he'd been the type to pick on the vulnerable.

"Leon will take you to the airport," he stated flatly. "I will never let you out of my sight in future; my family's reach is everywhere."

For once, he was grateful to his father for the reputation he had established. Looking at Edwin he knew he tarred him with the same brush as his father but for the first time he couldn't bring himself to care.


	20. Unwelcome guest

Thanks Dori (hugs)

*

Arthur drove along the busy streets, relaxed for the first time in ages. Leon should be waving off Edwin and he...well, _he _was on his way to see Merlin.

That pathetic excuse for a human being had crumbled at his feet, begging for forgiveness and mercy. What mercy had he shown Merlin? Edwin may not have taken Merlin's life literally but he may as well have for the damage he'd done, Arthur wasn't letting him off with that, not with any of it. Leon was supervising his transfer overseas to the not far away enough land of Australia. He would work for a colleague of Arthur who knew his father and was equally as ruthless. When he had hung up Arthur was almost ready to pity the bastard, Aredian was no pushover and Edwin's life would no doubt be hellish from now on. Karma was a bitch.

Pulling into the underground car park Arthur frowned as he recognised the car parked in one of his reserved spots, alongside Morgana's ride.

_His father.  
_

Arthur pushed open his front door, walked down the hall calling Merlin's name, and stopped outside the bedroom door where he'd left Merlin hours before. Any hope that he was still here faded as he studied the empty, neatly made bed and the lack of scattered personal items.

That meant if he was still in the flat, then he was with his... "Father," he muttered with a grimace as he entered the living room. There was no sign of Merlin as he scanned the room, only Morgana and _him._

_Damn it. What was he doing here?  
_  
Arthur growled low in his throat. Bloody hell, the least he'd expected was to find Merlin here unharmed after the day he'd had with that bastard. Glancing at Uther, he felt his hackles rise at the most obvious reason for his disappearing act.

"Are you looking for that rather puckish looking lad who was here earlier?" Uther asked, sipping from a glass tumbler of no doubt Arthur's best malt. _Bastard_. "I assume that the lad is this Mervin that you're looking for?" He looked so smug sitting there in that fucking ridiculous red floral armchair that had been Gwen's. _Why did he still have that?  
_  
Arthur froze, turned and marched over to the man who had sired him. "What did you do!" he demanded. Then he turned to Morgana. "What has he done?" he begged. "Is he okay?" he asked, meaning Merlin but a glint of sympathy in Morgana's eyes made him fear the worst.

"Don't shout at your stepsister, it's not fitting of..." Uther admonished, obviously getting into his stride, working up to a lecture.

"Shut up," Morgana interrupted, eyes flashing and lips pursed. Arthur smirked, hearing his father grumble under his breath.

"Arthur, he's fine, don't worry. I called Gwen to take him to hers," she murmured gently. "I didn't want him to hear anymore of the rubbish you were spouting," she added, eyeing Uther scornfully. Morgana sighed and shrugged. "Sorry Arthur, he wouldn't go until he'd spoken to you and I thought it best Merlin was out of hearing."

Uther, Arthur was surprised to note, looked rather abashed by this reprimand. If anyone spoke his or her mind to his father, it was Morgana. She didn't hesitate with anyone else why stop with a ruthless despot of a stepfather?

Then her words registered fully. "What the hell did you say to him?" he growled, quite uncaring for once to show respect to the man who'd drilled it into him all his life. The only thing preventing him from completely losing it was the knowledge Merlin was safe, and despite his issues with his ex, he knew Gwen cared deeply for their mutual friend. Gwen would take good care of him. He couldn't even bring himself to care that Lance would probably be there. It was funny how priorities changed.

"Why all this fuss about a money-grabbing whore?" Uther protested looking extremely put out. "And what type of welcome is this for your father boy; I've not seen you in at least nine months!"

_I'm going to blow an absolute gasket._ "What did you just call him?" Arthur snapped as he strode across the room until only Morgana's restraining hand stopped him.

"Whose fault is that, Uther?" she intervened. "You've been gallivanting around Europe and haven't kept us in the loop about your whereabouts. We didn't even have a bloody number to contact you at!" she pointed out as Uther continued to glower.

Arthur exhaled and took several deep, calming breaths and sat back down. He was no use to Merlin if he lost his temper, but he had to find out what had happened here so he'd know how to approach Merlin.

"Will you be okay while I get you a drink?" Morgana asked Arthur. Her eyes flitted to Uther.

He nodded abruptly, still glaring at his father absolutely incensed as he recalled what Uther'd said about the man he loved.

"I strongly suggest you never speak about Merlin like that again; unless you prefer kissing this floor," he bit out sharply. He watched Uther's eyes widen and then narrow ominously.

"I saw it, he was all over you!" he grunted, looking put out.

"God!" Arthur huffed. "Is it so hard to believe someone likes me for me? Anyway what are you talking about, what did you see?"

Morgana thrust a generous measure of whisky into his hands. "He saw the article that was in the paper Arthur. The one that said..."

_Ah. _

_**A boy in Pendragon's lair**_

That would explain his father's presence. It made sense that he'd fly back to the U.K. immediately if there was the slightest hint of scandal touching his family name.

"Yes, well, you know I don't want to hear the sordid details," Uther grumbled looking a little pink around the cheeks. "It is enough that I know that you are...well, _you know_, but for you to broadcast it to the world like that," he exclaimed angrily. "It's not on my boy, if I'd known about it sooner I'd have demanded a retraction but as it stood I only found out yesterday. You didn't even deny it and I know you're not stupid enough to actually fall for something so obvious." he finished with a pointed scowl.

"I hope you don't mean what I think father because that would be dangerous," Arthur warned softly.

"He doesn't," Morgana interrupted, looking warningly at Uther. "Well he probably does, but he doesn't know Merlin like we do," she reasoned.

Arthur supposed in an arrogantly presumptuous way his father _was _trying to protect him from what he saw as a genuine threat. He seriously doubted the motive behind the gesture though.

"Wait," Uther muttered. "You know this boy well?" he asked Morgana with a frown.

_Oh for bloody hell's sake.  
_  
"Yes father, I know him and Morgana knows him. In fact she has been best friends with him a lot longer than I have," he snapped impatiently watching, as his father appeared taken aback by this news. "Oh were you not very thorough in your background check then?" he asked sarcastically.

He was going to do him in, father or not.

Uther had turned to Morgana now. "Is this true?" he wondered.

She rolled her eyes. "God save me from idiotic Pendragon males. Yes it's true," she hissed. "Merlin's a sweetie, I told you that when you were hurling abuse at him but you weren't listening or wouldn't."

_Hurling abuse!  
_  
"What exactly did you say?" Arthur asked his voice trembling with anger.

Uther looked a bit sheepish now he realised that he might, God forbid, be in the wrong and he was outnumbered.

"Just that you needed to marry well and perhaps he wasn't the most suitable person for you son," he stated, tilting his chin upward confidently at the end with an obvious attempt at bravado.

"That's it?" Arthur asked doubtfully, although it was bad enough, considering Merlin's deep-set insecurities.

Morgana was glaring at Uther. Arthur watched as his father pointedly refused to meet her eyes.

"Let's have it!" he prompted. Part of him didn't want to know, because when he did then he wouldn't be able to cease imagining how deeply it would have hurt his Merlin.

"If you're both positive that this Merv..." Uther grunted as Morgana jabbed an elbow in his ribs. "...sorry, if you're sure this _Merlin_ is suitable then I have to trust your judgement."

Arthur hated that he automatically doubted his word. Uther knew he had no chance when up against the joint force of Arthur and Morgana and so was conceding temporary defeat. He knew never to let his guard down around his father or assume he would keep his word. It made his blood boil when he considered the suffering Merlin had already experienced and he began doubting the wisdom in allowing the other man to be in this family and in Uther's sights.

However, even if it was selfish of him, Arthur wanted and _needed_ Merlin in his life. Always. Regardless of Uther, Edwin or anyone else who threatened Merlin or their right to be together.

"I need to go to him," Arthur muttered, getting to his feet. If he waited too long then Merlin might doubt his feelings. Bloody hell if he believed Uther then Merlin had probably already written him off. He vaguely heard his father mutter about wanting to stay or some such rot. Morgana was whispering urgently in the negative. Thank God, someone was supporting him here.

"Please, just go," he mumbled. "I don't want to see you right now."

He met Uther's gaze and refused to blink under its intense glare. Getting to his feet, he placed his glass on the coffee table and addressed Morgana. "Please," he asked. Like always she understood and for once, there was no snarky backchat.

"Sure love."

"You can stay at mine," she told Uther with a sigh. "Let's get your things."

His father got rather slowly to his feet, his eyes had never left his son and his expression of confused anger almost made Arthur laugh. Uther wouldn't understand falling for someone for themselves, as he had for Merlin and not for superficial, material reasons such as money, beauty or power.

Arthur pitied him that lack of belief in honest, loving relationships. _I hope that for me it can still be a reality.  
_  
"I'll speak to you later," Uther dictated as he reluctantly took his bags from Morgana.

"Perhaps, but I'll be the one to get in touch," Arthur responded with a sad smile. The man had no clue about how to talk in a real way with anyone, not even family.

He froze as a large, strong hand gripped his shoulder as his father passed. His eyes closed as he remembered a childhood when he'd worshipped this man and believed all the values he'd preached. Now Gaius, his Godfather, was more of a father to him but unfortunately this man was still his father and some small part of him responded to that knowledge.

"I'm sorry about what I said about Merlin," Uther said quietly. "I can't say that I approve but if you are truly serious then I'll support you." The hand squeezed tight.

Arthur opened his eyes to observe the regret in the man. He shuddered at the thought he could have become like his father – thank God he hadn't! "Don't tell me," he advised sadly. "If he will come to me, then you can tell Merlin."

_If I trust you to get that close_, he thought as he studied this man he knew felt torn between his business and family. Unfortunately it seemed that for the majority of his life he'd favoured work, if not illegal practices then at least morally dubious ones.

"Goodbye Father," he murmured and held out his hand.

Uther sighed. "Au revoir, I hope."

Morgana looped an arm through the older man's and led him from the room, glancing back to smile encouragingly at Arthur. He watched as she mouthed, _don't worry I'll keep him busy. _Five minutes later she was back, having _strapped his Lordship in._

"I told Merlin to take Uther's bull with a pinch of salt but you know how he is," she murmured sadly. "I got him out of here sharpish, so he really didn't have to put up with much but I think it was enough to shake him up so tread carefully," Morgana advised, before moving in close to pull him into an impromptu hug.

"Be honest and tell him how you feel," she said, squeezing him tight.

"Already have done," Arthur said and felt his cheeks bloom into colour.

She clapped her hands in delight after releasing him from her grasp. "Brilliant, well do that again but even more passionately."

Arthur rolled his eyes. "God you're such a girl," he grumbled.

She gestured to her rather impressive assets, not that he ever really noticed them. "Well duh," she drawled and grinned as he ushered her back toward the front door with a promise to get in touch once he had news. "Good news, mind," she warned. Arthur just laughed, although inside his stomach was beginning to churn as nerves took over.

"Before I leave," she asked carefully. "I assumed everything went to plan with you know who?"

He nodded. "Let's just say he knows not to mess with me, or more to the point Merlin, and will be extremely far away under the watchful eye of a rather intimidating man."

"Merlin's safe then?" she sighed and patted him on the back. "As long as you are sure."

"Oh, I'm positive," Arthur muttered. He heard her sharp intake of breath and broke free from his thoughts of what he would like to do to Edwin if he had several hours available to run with his imagination. Morgana looked slightly concerned but he assured her that he hadn't done more than threaten the man. She had still nodded in agreement however, when he acknowledged that he'd wanted to gut the bastard.

He didn't see her out, moving quickly to phone Gwen to say he was on his way and determine that Merlin was in fact still at her flat.


	21. Reassurance

A couple of new chapters. Thanks muchly to Dori/socalrose you're the fabbest of the fab ;)

*

Staring up at the property Arthur had to admit Gwen's new home was beautiful and exactly fitted her criteria when _they'd_ first searched for a home. The building was detached, an attractive red brick and situated in a large lush garden away from the busy streets of London in a popular suburb. Exactly what she'd wanted and what he hadn't been ready to provide – a family home. He knocked sharply, impatiently waiting for a response.

A few minutes passed, but it felt like hours as Arthur's fingers curled and opened repeatedly. His golden head swung up when he heard footsteps approaching and the front door being unbolted. It opened and revealed Gwen. He stared, caught up in memories, until a soft voice registered through the haze of his thoughts.

"Arthur?"

"Sorry," he said stopping his perusal of her hair, which was loose, and a change from her previously preferred tight bun. A soft blush rose risen in her cheeks. "Gwen," he acknowledged surprised at the change in her. _She's glowing;_ he thought and put it down to her being finally content. This brought him back to his own situation which lacked similar personal satisfaction.

"Merlin?" he asked in concern hoping the other man was still here and would speak to him. Bloody hell he'd force the issue it . . . _Merlin _was that important.

"I'm fine thanks and how are you?" she asked formally with a hint of laughter in her voice.

Arthur was ready to snap back that there wasn't time to waste when he noticed that she wasn't actually mocking him but rather looked like she was directing the emotion at herself. Gwen smiled, albeit with a hint of sadness.

"You really care for him," she stated matter of fact but couldn't cover the wistful quality in her tone.

"Yes, I really do," Arthur agreed.

"I'm glad, you both deserve to be happy," she whispered. "I never could break through that wall of containment but I think he does," she guessed with shining eyes.

"Gwen . . . I," he began, not sure what to say, after all she'd made her bed and he felt no pangs for his past.

She shook her head slowly, lips curving. "Don't worry; I'm just being a silly sentimental fool. We love each other, Lance and I and I'm just pleased you've found yours too."

He must have looked puzzled.

"Your soul mate Arthur," Gwen uttered and patted him on the shoulder. "It's not very nice of me but I can admit to feeling a selfish relief that you've found yours too."

_Takes away your sense of guilt? _He assumed as he studied the woman he'd shared a home but perhaps not, in hindsight, his life. That was what he wanted, needed with Merlin – to be partners.

"Would you please take me to him?" he asked, desperate to make things better, to reassure and mainly to see first hand that Merlin was in one piece.

"Of course, follow me, he's in the conservatory," she replied and turned to lead the way.

Arthur vaguely noted the excessive number of doors they passed on the way to the back of the house and some part of him was aware again that Gwen had achieved her dream. They left an open plan living/kitchen space and were immediately standing in a cosy room, overlooking a vast garden. It was well lit by early evening moonlight and the blinds remained open, not yet closed for the night. Several wicker chairs sat, forming a circle along the interior wall of the conservatory and all pointed toward a modern flat screen T.V. One seat, in the far corner, was occupied by a familiar figure that lay napping, head cushioned on floral padding.

Taking deep breaths Arthur practically swayed, torn between waking the man up from his peaceful slumber and leaving him to rest. Then again who was to say it was peaceful after Merlin's meeting with Uther. Uncertain of his welcome he crept nearer and sank into an adjoining chair to drink in the sight of Merlin.  
A soft cough caught Arthur's attention.

"I'll leave you to it," Gwen murmured quietly. "You won't be disturbed, Lance is away on a business trip and I'll be in the living room down the hall if you need anything."

It felt surreal but Arthur didn't have the inclination to consider the strangeness of the situation. He nodded his thanks; turning away to focus on Merlin and hearing her footsteps trail away to silence. Merlin looked so calm, as if no harm had ever befallen him. Arthur wondered what the other man was thinking, if he doubted their relationship – not that it had really started. It would be just his luck for the love of his life, which was what his instinct was saying Merlin was, to walk away or leave him. It had been what his mother had done, and Gwen. Although he supposed that if he was honest, he'd never fully revealed his inner self to Gwen, probably due to those walls he'd built when his mother had died. Then he'd never felt that she needed him either. With Merlin they fit somehow, like they were two parts of something greater and both had suffered only to find each other. That was why he was determined that Merlin wouldn't be going anywhere, no matter what Uther thought.

Arthur was surprised to find he was softly stroking that messy dark fringe and as it didn't seem to disturb the man continued to do so tenderly. He sighed, raking strong, tapered fingers through the silky strands and fidgeted on his seat, careful not to bump Merlin as he felt a slow build of arousal. Arthur looked at Merlin's foot, which was still elevated to protect his ankle from knocks and provide comfort. There wouldn't be much chance of anything happening anytime soon, not unless Merlin jumped him. The stray thought caught him by surprise and he released a low, deep-felt groan. The head beneath his hand twitched.

_Damn, look what his fucking libido had done. Morgana was right...damn her.__  
_  
Merlin stirred, raising slender arms encased in cotton pyjama sleeves high before sighing in satisfaction as a low crack revealed the release of tension. His eyes remained closed.

_Oh no, no going back to sleep now. _

"Hi," Arthur murmured, abruptly nervous.

Both eyes flew open to reveal shocked blue.

"You're here?" Merlin asked in wonderment.

They both stared, wrapped in a blanket of silence.

_Time to bite the bullet._

"Are you okay?" Arthur found himself asking.

_Not exactly biting, more like nibbling the bullet but he'd suddenly dreaded putting the image of his father in Merlin's head_.

He gazed down at his hands in shame for his family's, _no_, Uther's treatment of the man he loved.

A gentle touch, pressing on the underside of his jaw, made him jerk in surprise and look up.

"Stop it," Merlin ordered, quietly.

Arthur felt his forehead crease as he puzzled over the words.

The hand moved to smooth along his hairline. "Stop it Arthur," Merlin murmured once more, even more emphatically.

When he finally stopped staring past the other man, he could read by his expression what emotion he was trying to convey – he was concerned. Merlin was watching him worriedly, albeit it through sleep-heavy eyes.

"It isn't your fault Arthur," he reassured him, continuing to rub along sensitive skin and then moving down the side of Arthur's face to cradle his head and soothe along his nape.

_Hang on.__  
_  
Arthur captured both of those pale, teasing hands. "I'm not letting this go, this is about you as much as me Merlin," he stated determinedly. "I appreciate you thinking of me but you were the one to . . . to." he stopped as he realised what he'd been about to say.

_You were the one to be abused by my father. _Perhaps not physical abused like Edwin but still he'd been mistreated misjudged and he didn't deserve that. Arthur was fuming, shoulders moving up and down in sync with his rapid breaths.

Merlin was looking away now and this reinforced to Arthur that the other man had been trying to move the attention away from himself. Oh, he didn't doubt Merlin's concern for him was genuine but he could recognise someone wanting to hide from a hurtful experience.

"I'm sorry love but I think we need to discuss this," Arthur said carefully. "First though you need to know that you will always come first and I trust you as well as love you."

He watched as the other man's hands shook slightly and placed his own over them for added support.

"Tell me what you can and I guarantee I'm not going anywhere," he promised. "I want to be with you and that means sharing. I don't expect you to tell me everything right now about your life but I think what happened tonight is important."

Arthur watched Merlin bite his lip, eyes shining with restrained tears and then smiled reassuringly with pride as the other man nodded and smaller hands clenched his tight.

"I was so happy Arthur," he mumbled. "He took that away, made me feel like I was a . . . a leech or something." He was deathly pale now and those expressive, sensitive features were strained.

"I know and I'm sorry you had to see him like that," Arthur soothed, keeping a calm exterior even as he felt sharp nails cut into his hands.

_Bastard. His own father.__  
_  
Merlin seemed to notice what he was doing because he tried to pull away, murmuring his distress. Arthur shushed him, giving freely a fleeting kiss, a mere press of the lips.

Merlin sighed. "Morgana was brilliant," he explained. "I just stood there like the idiot you call me and took it."

_Oh God.__  
_  
"I don't think you're an idiot Merlin," he protested and frowned as he heard Merlin huff in disbelief.

"You say it all the time, or did," the other man mumbled but not entirely convincingly.

"You really think I believe that?" Arthur asked feeling a little hurt and experiencing pangs of guilt over his previous treatment of the man. "I admit I was a git to you in the early days but I'd hoped that since we became friends and after the other night and this morning. . . ." he trailed away thinking of how they'd admitted they loved each for Pete's sake.

Suddenly Merlin was practically in his lap, despite the inconvenience of a painful broken ankle.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry," he muttered repeatedly with his face buried in Arthur's neck. "I'm fucked up Arthur, I don't think you think that of me . . . It's just my. . . ." Merlin groaned as he looked up into Arthur's face.

"I know you Muppet," Arthur murmured. "You don't need to worry though, I'm not going anywhere and you need to believe in me . . . in us if we are to prove bastards like Uther wrong," he stated confidently. He was going to instil the same positive belief in Merlin.

"Oh and just to be clear, when I call you things like Muppet it's . . . ."

Arthur grinned in relief when Merlin interrupted with, "I know, _I know, _you're failing badly with chosen terms of endearment."

"Hey!" Arthur grumbled in mock protest. "A muppet was my favourite thing as a child. Gonzo was the best."

"Oh, really?" Merlin asked with a raised brow. He was smiling now which made Arthur's heart soar, cheesy as that sounded.

"Really," Arthur pretended affront. "You're a Muppet and Morgana is the witch. Clearly a Muppet rules over a witch in the scale of loving terms and is top of the official list regardless."

Merlin snorted which rapidly turned into giggles as Arthur continued to affect the appearance he was not amused.

"I've just realised something," Merlin managed through fits of laughter.

Arthur looked at him in query, whilst the other gently manoeuvred Merlin back into the chair he had partially vacated.

_"You're _the idiot," Merlin announced loudly which started another round of giggles. Arthur stuck his nose in the air but leant over to ruffle the black mop and joined in.

When things had settled and the hysteria had died down, Arthur slung an arm around Merlin and tucked him in close.

"You can talk to me any time about anything okay," he commanded.

A soft pair of lips pecked his strong throat.

"Thanks Arthur," Merlin murmured.

"There's something I have to tell you and I don't want to upset you anymore but I think you deserve to hear it from me," Arthur began and felt the man in his arms tense up.

"Go ahead," he whispered. "Is it about Edwin?" Merlin added hesitatingly.

Arthur nodded and heard him suck in a deep breath.

"I've arranged for him to move to Australia under the eyes of a colleague of mine. I promise he can't hurt you, I would find out if he ever left the country," he reassured Merlin, aware of what he had suffered and how much he must have gone through at the bastard's hands.

A cold nose was rubbing against his jaw. "Thank you Arthur," Merlin murmured sweetly.

He felt his chest puff up with pride that he could protect his own but he thought he should let Merlin know what he was getting into.

"Merlin you've met my father and know part of my family isn't pretty, but are you ready to cope with the attention we'll get if we go public and the possible negativity which may surround us?" Arthur wondered. He knew he was shooting himself in the foot but he would never forgive himself if Merlin got involved without knowing the full extent of what he was getting into.

"Ssh," Merlin urged. "I'm not in the public eye like you, what with working under a penname, but I _am_ friends with people who are and know what this would mean for us. I want you Arthur and it is as simple as that," he finished with a shrug.

Then he was looking away, rather flushed in the face.

"What?" Arthur asked.

"It's just that I guess I always wanted you, even when I was with Will," he admitted and the faint tinge blazed into a rosy glow.

His words thrilled Arthur and his possessive nature revelled in them.

"I think that I maybe felt twinges too, whenever I saw you with him," Arthur conceded. "I just didn't recognise my reactions for what they were and took that frustration out on you."

Merlin smirked at him. _"Oh really?" _he prompted.

"_Really, really_," Arthur grunted a little embarrassed now as he realised he was being more honest regarding his feelings than ever before. It was fine when it was for the purpose of reassuring Merlin or reinstating his claim but otherwise he wasn't used to overly open displays of affection.

As Merlin grabbed a fistful of hair and pulled him in for a snog he decided that perhaps he could get used to it.


	22. Sweetness

Love to Dori!

*

"Let's go home," Arthur murmured.

Merlin quirked a brow; "Which one?" he asked with a shy smile.

Arthur considered the question and came to an immediate conclusion. "I really don't mind, mine or yours, as long as we have a comfortable King-size bed," he replied grinning wickedly as Merlin blushed.  
"Umm, great," Merlin croaked. "But I only have a double."

"Mine it is," Arthur smirked and stroked a finger over the heated skin of Merlin's throat. "Do you go red everywhere I wonder?" he questioned, then laughed aloud at Merlin's look of mortification as they heard knocking and looked to see Gwen watching through the glass door.

Arthur pecked him on the cheek then went to see what she wanted.

Gwen approached slowly, looking a little uncomfortable but attempting a hesitant smile. "Sorry to intrude but I've got to go drop something off at a friend's," she apologised. "You're both welcome to stay if you wish." She was glancing over his shoulder as she said this with a relieved smile. "Hi love, you better now?" she called to Merlin. He must have nodded, for her lips curved before she turned to Arthur for a response.

"I think we'll just be going now," he said and heard Merlin murmur his agreement.

Gwen smiled at them. "If you're sure," she said and pulled Merlin's crutches from the side of a chair. "You'll need these," she added and handed them to Arthur.

Once Merlin was on his feet, and then secured in the car, Arthur turned to his former girlfriend. "Thank you for looking out for him, I didn't want to say it in front of him, but I appreciate it," he patted her shoulder and Gwen nodded with a faint sheen of emotion betraying her reaction to his words.

"He's my friend," she said calmly. "And I'm just glad you've found someone," she replied and blinked to clear the threat of tears. "Sorry, just ignore me and let me know if you . . . _either of you _need anything."

He held her gaze for a moment. "Take care Gwen," he urged.

There was a slightly uncomfortable atmosphere present, which he supposed may never change, or at least not for a while. For Merlin's sake and the friendship he'd once valued with Gwen he would try.

Arthur walked around the car to the driver's side and shouted his goodbyes alongside Merlin who had become much quieter since Gwen's arrival.

"You okay?" he asked as they drove off.

Merlin shrugged. "I guess I just feel a little strange around you and Gwen when we . . . you know," he mumbled. There was a moment's silence. "She's one of my best friends and you were a couple . . . I just find it weird."

He knew what Merlin meant but hastened to reassure. "I know, but in time that will change and she is happy with her choice," Arthur said reaching out to clasp Merlin's hand where it had been tapping anxiously.

"Are you?" Merlin asked in a low voice, almost to himself.

Arthur had to strain to hear Merlin and knew in that moment he would one day drive off Merlin's blasted insecurity. "Right!" he exclaimed and pulled into a nearby lay-by, ignoring honks from the cars behind him.

Pulling up the handbrake, he turned to face the man in the passenger seat who was examining his hands with a determined fascination.

"Look at me," Arthur ordered; his expression hardened into a grim resolve. "Gwen and I were together, I can't change that, it happened. What I can do now is plan a future with you because you are what I want," Arthur uttered gesturing expansively with his hands. He looked into blue eyes, which had grown hopeful.

_All this time, since they had revealed how they felt, had Merlin been waiting for him to change his mind or to admit it wasn't true?_

Merlin remained silent but kept staring wide-eyed over at him and nibbling on his lower lip.

"I think when we get back to my place, if you can love, we should get everything out in the open," he suggested. "If that means I spill my guts too then that's what I'll do, because I love you, trust you and want to share."

He swallowed and his shoulders drooped. "No, that's not what I want, I mean it is, but I won't force you into sharing anything too painful. What I do need is for you to trust me if you can?" this he almost begged.

Arthur didn't recognise himself but then Merlin was so fragile, had been through so much and the last thing he wanted was to frighten him but at the same time they couldn't grow closer and strengthen if there was no trust or confidence that you were loved in return.

"I _do_ trust you," was whispered as Merlin placed his other hand over their entwined pair. "And I don't deserve you."

It made him look up quickly with blazing eyes. "Never put yourself down like that," Arthur demanded. "However things have gone in the past, you didn't ask for them and deserve so much more." Lifting his free hand to Merlin's face, he placed it over the other man's lips. "Ssh," he murmured. "That's all I want, for you to want this to work as much as I do."

Merlin leant into his hand, closed his eyes and sighed. "Yes," he whispered.

They sat like that for a while, enjoying the fierce feeling of connection. Arthur waited for Merlin to make the first move to part and then re-started the car.

"Do you need anything from your flat?" he asked patiently.

"That would be great, I need to maybe collect my notes for my novel and a few bits of clothing," Merlin replied.

They drove on in a comfortable silence.

*

Arthur placed two coasters on the coffee table when a low snickering made him frown and look up. Merlin stood in the doorway watching with a glint of laughter in his eyes.

"What," he huffed.

Merlin attempted to hide his amusement as he explained, "Just thinking how domesticated you look and that Morgana would be so proud."

"It was her who bought the bloody things," Arthur grumbled. He'd never really cared about marking his table until the witch had grumped and then he'd found himself doing it without thought.

Merlin chuckled in response. "What we drinking?" he asked in a singsong voice and manoeuvred awkwardly over on his crutches to wrap an arm around Arthur. He fitted perfectly and rested his head on a strong shoulder.

"Wait and see you impatient nuisance," Arthur scolded and laughed as the other man pulled away with a pout. He helped Merlin to sit and adjusted the recliner for his legs.

He retrieved a bottle of champagne from his supplies; _they would definitely need to purchase a house with a wine cellar_, and a couple of tulip shaped glasses. Decorking the bottle in the kitchen, he filled each glass midway and then carried them through to the living room.

"Here you go," he said with an anticipatory smile.

Merlin watched him suspiciously. "What, are you planning on drugging me or getting me drunk?" he wondered.

"No, but maybe next time," Arthur smirked as the other man glanced curiously at his glass. "It's only a drink Merlin," he grunted impatiently.

"Hmm, but you're acting like a four year old at Christmas," Merlin pointed out. "It's not normal even for you."

"Drink it," he ordered. "Bloody hell, you're meant to enjoy it, not glare it to death."

Merlin looked gleeful. "You are so easy to wind up," he grinned and gingerly took a sip and closed his eyes to savour the taste. "Wow!" he exclaimed as his eyes popped open.

Arthur smirked. "Well?" he asked nonchalantly.

"That is good, not Cava then?" he asked with another smirk.

_Cheeky sod. __  
_  
"It's a bottle of Krug," he explained with a grin at Merlin's obvious disappointment that he'd not fallen for his Cava reference.

"Good then?" Merlin asked.

"You could say that," Arthur muttered. "You need to be educated Merlin in many, many things."

Merlin blushed furiously.

_Interesting._

"What are you thinking?" he teased, enjoying the way Merlin's face glowed in reaction to his words. He looked temptingly edible.

"I actually thought if I introduced you to this, then maybe you'd stay away from my whisky stores," he mocked playfully.

"That was only the once and..." Merlin started to protest loudly.

"Relax, I'm winding you up," he snorted as a cushion came winging his way at top speed, "Ouch!" he groaned as it hit him square on the face. Thankfully, his glass had been on the table and remained relatively safe. He would have thought completely safe but for the fact that Merlin had picked up another cushion with a wicked look of intent.

_Merlin wanted to play did he. He could do that too._

Arthur got to his feet and strode over beige carpet to the minx who sat, clenching a cushion and watching him warily_. _As he was almost upon him, Merlin began to screech and threw the pillow, completely missing his target. He had seemed to realise that he was now defenceless due to his inability to move quickly with his ankle and a sudden scarcity of cushions.

Arthur watched his dilemma in amusement. "Not so clever an idea was it?" he suggested as he looked pointedly at Merlin's elevated ankle.

He swooped down and lifted the slender man into his arms, chuckling at the way Merlin tried to huff and puff while obviously struggling to hide a pleased smile.

Arthur stilled as realisation hit.

"What is it?" Merlin asked, sensing the change in mood.

"Can't really do much with your ankle and I don't want to hurt you," he pointed out.

_Bloody ice rink and bloody Morgana for suggesting it._

Merlin nibbled on one of his ears.

"What are you doing?" he asked. "You hungry or something?"He felt rather than heard Merlin snigger into his neck. "No, you twat. I just felt like it, it's meant to be an errog...errogeins." He pouted. "It's meant to feel good."

Arthur snorted. "Aren't you meant to know big words, being an author and all," he asked. "Ow!" he yelled as sharp teeth bit down on a tender lobe.

"Serves you right," he heard mumbled in the tortured ear. Then a warm, wet tongue was licking it better.

"Now you have an ear fetish?" he asked. Then wondered if he really was a twat as he braced himself for another bite.

Soft laughter made his heart swell. This was fun, silly _yes_, but fun.

"Just trying things that don't involve me and you wriggling about and jarring my ankle," Merlin mumbled into his abused and now wet ear.

Arthur wondered how flushed Merlin was now and decided to find out. "Let's go somewhere more comfortable," he declared. "It's pretty late now and I think it's time for a lie down."

"King size?" Merlin whispered.

"Oh yes," he smirked. "The bed's big too," he added and smirked at Merlin's shout of laughter.

For now they could relax, enjoy being together, even if right now that meant no energetic 'fun'. That would come in time and Arthur knew his imagination could create a considerable selection of gentler alternatives, which were no less pleasurable.

In the morning they could talk, and discuss where they were headed.

Arthur kicked open the door to the master bedroom and carefully placed his burden onto the thickly quilted bed. Merlin's eyes still sparkled with laughter and he smiled sweetly upward making Arthur feel like the luckiest man in the world.

"So, you think I'm like a four year old huh?" he prodded, enjoying the way Merlin squirmed and reddened further under his gaze.

He began to unbutton Merlin's pyjama top, slowly, to enjoy the experience. Merlin abruptly gripped his hand to halt proceeding and Arthur looked at him in concern.

"Are you okay?" he asked. "If you want to stop…" _Really_ didn't want that, but he would never force Merlin.

Merlin stared at the ceiling, shamefaced and refusing to look at him when he gently called his name. Then he wondered if he'd found the cause as he traced the silky soft skin at the base of Merlin's neck.

"We talked about this, remember," he whispered. "I love all of you," he added and pressed kisses from the slender but firm jaw, beginning a trail, which led downward. Instantly he was aware of Merlin's stare and rapt attention. He looked up, maintaining eye contact as he lavished attention on the scar tissue, licking gently along the faded marks. "When I kissed these before I told you that you'd better not _dare _think that they were all I see, and there not," he claimed. "What you should also know is that there isn't one single part of you that doesn't arouse me." He stopped as if to think about that. "Well apart from your tendency to pinch my whisky," he said in mock seriousness.

Merlin's teary-eyed smile transformed into an expression of exasperated amusement. "Prat!" he exclaimed.

Arthur captured his lips for a heated kiss before reluctantly pulling away. "Uh huh," he murmured huskily. "But to be more exact your prat."

Merlin looked ravished which gave Arthur great satisfaction but also a thirst to see how much he could add to that appearance.

_No time like the present_.

He moved to the end of the bed and parted Merlin's legs, smirking as he heard him squeak in reaction.

Carefully he removed the pyjama bottoms. "Hmm, I think I'm going to have to give you a thorough physical Mr. Emrys," he stated as he tapped his chin. "If at any time it becomes uncomfortable let me know."

Merlin was peering at him through hooded lids and his lips were compressing to fight a grin. "Erm sounds good."

Arthur nodded seriously. "It will be."

*

He couldn't remember feeling this comfortable…_ever_. Arthur rolled over and slowly opened his eyes only to find a pair of vibrant blue staring directly into his own.

"Morning," Merlin said shyly and snuggled closer, burying his face in Arthur's throat.

Memories of the night before came rushing back. Arthur knew he was probably beaming like a loon but right now, with Merlin in his arms, he couldn't give a damn.

His mobile picked that moment to ring shrilly, breaking the peace and quiet and Arthur was tempted to ignore the bloody thing.

"It might be important," Merlin whispered.

Just like that, he was moving to obey. Leon would say he was whipped.

"Hello," he barked, moving an arm to pull Merlin in closer.

"Hello to you too darling," Morgana purred. "Wake up on the wrong side?" she asked.

Glancing around him and noting Merlin's position on the bed he smirked. "You could say that."

For once, she didn't notice the slip. "How's Merlin?" she asked in concern. "I hope you managed to reassure him that Uther is an interfering pain the ass."

Arthur was sure he heard a furious "hey" in the background and smirked at the thought she'd say something like that in front of his father.

"He's at mine and we're both okay," he answered. Arthur didn't feel comfortable discussing Merlin when the man was _right there_ so he quickly moved to end the call after she'd got him to invite her round on Friday for Christmas Eve.

"She okay?" Merlin wondered, sighing in satisfaction as he touched his tongue to Arthur's throat and licked gently.

"She was asking the same thing about you," Arthur responded. "She's coming round tomorrow and she's bringing presents. I think she's trying to go easy on pushy, which must be hard, and give us Christmas Day alone."

He laughed at Merlin's delighted reaction. "You do know you're going nowhere right," he advised.

Merlin looked adorably flushed. "If you're sure that's…" he began. "None of that," Arthur interrupted. "If you want to, you're here to stay."

He felt it would be better if they had a home that was theirs and not the flat he had shared with Gwen. That would be a big decision though; he hadn't even discussed living together permanently with Merlin past the holidays. There was Merlin's flat too to consider. Now though was time to become more knowledgeable about each other and enjoy the seasonal period.


	23. Open like a book

Cheers Dori x

Thank you to everyone who reviewed x Appreciate it loads. Kiss.

*

It was Thursday, late evening and Arthur sat on the sofa in his flat grinning as he felt the man under his arm snuggle in for a closer fit. The entire day hadn't really progressed much further than how it had begun – with him and Merlin in bed. Although they hadn't moved far they'd more than made up for that with strenuous action. Merlin's ankle had slightly restricted their activities but that couldn't be helped and if anything it had made them that much more inventive.

"What time's Morgana coming round tomorrow?" Merlin asked and snuck a hand between them to grab a handful of popcorn.

That was a good question. The likelihood was probably, _whenever she thinks we'd least expect it,_ but he answered, "I'll send her a text and find out for certain," Arthur replied.

As he punched in the message on his phone, he watched in amusement as Merlin held an open-fingered hand over his eyes as a small, alien burst from the man's stomach onscreen.

There was a reason why the man watched Teletubbies he'd discovered. Merlin was a total wuss when it came to anything approaching a 15 rating. Mind you, he had a point. _Yuck, that was plain gross__, Arthur thought._

"Arthur," Merlin murmured. "Could we talk?" he asked.

He sounded nervous which in turn made Arthur nervous. "Okay," Arthur replied slowly. "What did you want to talk about?" he asked anxiously.

Then Merlin was shifting, reaching for the remote and they both stared as the screen turned blank. Arthur had the feeling this was important, he knew he could be obtuse and wanted to be supportive. Morgana was always saying, "God you're obtuse!" at random moments when he had no idea why.

His fingers curled in protest as the other man moved from his lap to sit in one corner of the sofa, staring avidly at his feet.

_Oh, this was definitely important. __  
_  
"I feel," Merlin muttered, then stopped, swallowing noisily. He visibly collected himself then carried on, "I feel that I haven't really opened up, told you stuff that - that happened before I came to London. I want to tell you Arthur and you deserve to know," he finished in a whisper.

"Come here," Arthur urged, holding out his arms wide and sighed as Merlin scrambled back into them. "Whenever you're ready, but only what you're comfortable with," he reassured.

The feel of Merlin in his arms comforted him and he only hoped it did the same for the other man as he began to speak.

"I suppose I should start at the beginning," Merlin mumbled, as he wriggled into a position that seemed to help him relax for he laid his cheek against Arthur's chest and breathed more easily.

"As good a place as any," Arthur encouraged softly. He soothed the man in his arms with a gentle stroke along his side, holding him tight.

"You know I was brought up by a single parent in Ealdor?" he asked. Arthur recalled what Gaius had mentioned on Merlin's youth and nodded. "My mother, her name was Hunith, was one of the most generous people I ever met," he explained. "I don't remember my father, but she would tell me stories about how they met and how deeply they loved one another."

He sounded so sad and Arthur's hold increased as he considered the possibility of ever losing this incredible man. "What happened?" he questioned, knowing it couldn't be good and kissing Merlin lovingly on the temple as he did so.

"He was a conservationist who believed passionately in maintaining the natural world," Merlin explained proudly but then he faltered, "He was killed," he husked. "He spoke against a powerful company which wanted to destroy entire acres of forest and wildlife to build a factory which would pollute the area."

"He was killed?" Arthur asked hesitatingly, wondering how one person could have withstood so much.

Merlin looked up through teary eyes. "A man was prosecuted for ordering his death, the company involved denied all knowledge and in the end the man admitted he'd been under pressure and that my father's interference was adding to it." Merlin's laugh was tragic. "Can you believe that, killed for being a nuisance?"

"Ssh, I'm sorry Merlin," he murmured.

"It's okay; I get upset more for my mother's sake and for what might have been. I was only about three years old and didn't get to know him for me to miss him," Merlin mumbled. "His name was unusual, Balinor, but mum called him Bill," he added as an afterthought. "But she usually just said _your father _when talking to me about him."

"You can be proud of what he stood for," Arthur pointed out and smiled tenderly as the other man's head twisted sideways and grateful blue eyes looked deeply into his.

"I know," Merlin husked. "Thanks."

He snatched a quick kiss. "It's true." He wondered then about how Merlin's mother had died. Gaius had only regaled tales of mischief and the bare minimum of facts regarding Merlin's childhood.

"My mother passed away about five years ago," Merlin began. Arthur tucked the other man's head under his chin and ran strong hands along his shoulders then down his arms.

"She used to tell me so many stories about my father and how much in love they were. Sometimes I wondered if I would ever find that," Merlin whispered. "Maybe that's why I ended up with the wrong partner so many times."

Arthur frowned. "How do you mean?" he wondered.

"I wanted so desperately to find the one, especially after mum died, that I didn't stop to really make sure they were right for me as long as they told me they loved me." He went quiet and began to tremble. "No matter how they treated me I thought that it was what I deserved."

Arthur whispered reassurances all the while wishing he had a chance to revisit Edwin and show the bastard what_ he _deserved.

"I thought he loved me Arthur, but he couldn't have and what made it worse was that I stopped caring for him very early on but my guilt over that made me stay. Then I couldn't leave," he acknowledged, "because I was scared."

"I used to be so different, not scared of anyone," he mumbled. "I want that back Arthur."

He felt like crying himself as he soothed, "You will Merlin. God you're a cheeky sod at the best of times so I don't think it'll take too long."

Blue eyes sparkled, wet with tears and shining with love. "Prat!"

Seriously I'm here for you," Arthur expressed adamantly. "We'll get through this together,"

They lay against the back of the sofa as one, enjoying the feeling of connection.

"My mother always told me that we all have another half out there that's waiting for us to find them," Merlin whispered. At one time in his life, Arthur would have snorted in disbelief but now he listened intently. "It was after reading a note she'd written that I came across accidentally after she'd died, that I found the courage to leave Edwin. It must have been one she'd written to my father, one of those silly love notes you leave lying around for your partner to find," Merlin explained. "It was simple, the love in it was obvious and it got through to me like nothing had before."

Arthur gripped their hands together as he asked, "So you left Edwin?"

"Yes," he murmured. "I'd lost my focus, forgotten the joy my mother had described and settled for a man who was incapable of such feeling." Merlin swept his fringe from his face. "Then I turned to a man who did love me but that turned out to be a wrong move too,"

"Will?" Arthur asked. He recalled the pair of them on this very sofa and couldn't prevent his body from tightening at the memory.

Merlin must have, oh definitely felt him tense, what with their bodies melded together. "Didn't you hear me love, he was the wrong choice."

It was hard to wipe out the image but he couldn't let it ruin this now with Merlin.

"I'm sorry," he muttered.

Merlin was smiling gently. "How do you think I felt watching you and Gwen?" he prodded. "And she was-is one of my best friends."

Arthur rolled his eyes at his own behaviour. "I'm an idiot, sorry." he kissed Merlin gently on the lips.

"Stop apologising," he scolded. "And stop interrupting my vent."

"Think you're recapturing your spark minute by minute," Arthur chuckled and grunted as a sharp elbow poked him in the ribs. "I know – I'm a _prat!" _he sighed.

"Well you know mostly what happened after that I suppose," Merlin said. "Will grew frustrated when I couldn't relax around him and I know I should have learnt not to settle for less but," he came to a halt.

Arthur took over. "You needed to feel safe and despite him not being right at first Will wasn't a threat."

Merlin was leaning back to look up at him, craning his neck and staring. "Yes," he said wonderingly. "Then I didn't feel safe anymore." He winced at Arthur's glare. "Oh Will didn't hurt me as such but he forced the issue of sex and I wasn't ready for that. To be honest I should have never gone out with him but I'd known him from when I was a bit younger and he wasn't a stranger."

"And you wanted to feel loved," Arthur murmured. He smiled at Merlin's surprise. "What? Isn't that what everyone wants?"

"Isn't that what we _have_?" Merlin whispered.

In response, Arthur lifted the other man slightly and turned him round so that he could wrap his legs around Arthur's waist. "Oh yeah," he smirked.

After several delicious moments, Merlin tugged his head away to Arthur's great disgust. "Did you read my book?" he asked quietly.

_Okay, abrupt change of subject_.

"I did," he replied. "Why did you choose the title _In Somnis Veritas__?" _he asked out of interest. Arthur wasn't much of a reader but he'd appreciated the tale of the man who'd dreamt of a fulfilling past life only to awaken to one which failed to live up to it. He wasn't ashamed to admit that there had been a tear or two caught in his eye when he'd come to the end of the novel. Merlin was writing the follow up, _Vita Nova__, _and Arthur hoped that its title hinted that it might be a more uplifting experience.

Merlin looked deep in thought and vaguely uncertain. He looked up at Arthur and opened his mouth then closed it again before staring down at his hands.

"What?" Arthur prodded. "Tell me, I don't bite." He laughed as blue eyes flew up and an eyebrow arched knowingly. "Okay I do a little, but please what were you going to say?"

Merlin sighed. "You'll think I'm mad," he mumbled. He muttered under his breath something that sounded like _what the hell._ "The novel _In Somnis Veritas _is loosely based on my experiences," he admitted quietly.

Arthur hunted for what to say. "Okay?" he said. "Go on."

"Oh, I doubt I was dreaming of a past life, or maybe I was, who knows. The only thing I could think of when I came round from my coma was you or really the image of a stranger for I hadn't met you yet," Merlin whispered and refused to meet his stare. "My family is known for having the sight, although I never believed in it. It didn't manifest until I was…" Merlin gulped. "…until my coma and that's when I pictured a tall, blonde man loving me and just being with me." He suddenly looked up. "Then I met you at that party and you were with one of my best friends and I was still nervous around men anyway. I gave up and then met Will again and settled."

Arthur head was buzzing. This was huge and as he looked into fearful orbs and at the perfectly sane man whom he'd come to love he realised one thing – it didn't matter what had brought them together as long as they just _were._

He leaned forward, ignoring the anxious looks, and whispered in his ear. "I'll probably never fully understand, you know me a spade is a spade, but I love you." Arthur burst out laughing as pale, slim arms flew around him in obvious relief.

"I thought you'd think me mad!" Merlin muttered as he clung on like a limpet.

"I already think that, but who am I to doubt your word. Anyway it's too late because I'm already in love with you." He smirked.

"Love you too," Merlin mumbled into his throat.


	24. Christmas eve & guests

Cheers Dori x

*

The day had begun a mad scramble of movement to prepare in time for their impending guests. _Perhaps, it would have been better if they'd not lain in until midday_, Arthur pondered with a reminiscent tilt of the lips.

The sound of running water signaled Merlin's attempt to fight and conquer the mountain of dishes in the basin. _He'd_ better do something about getting dressed; otherwise Morgana would lecture him about proper hosting. Arthur always protested that with family it shouldn't be necessary which didn't cut it with her majesty.

He snuck down and leaned around the doorway to catch one last look at the man who'd made himself so much part of his life, then grinned at the sight of Merlin, sitting on a tall stool from the balcony set, overwhelmed by rapidly advancing bubbles.

"Need a hand?" he murmured and laughed aloud this time as Merlin glanced around with a look of despair.

"I think I poured too much in and this bloody sponge is being a pain in the arse," he mumbled with a fierce glare at the offending sponge.

Arthur strolled over. "Give it here," he advised and tossed it aside before opening a drawer to retrieve a plain dishcloth. "This won't add to the . . . erm bubbleness."

Merlin stared at the cloth, and then Arthur before abruptly burst into laughter. "I need to chill, huh?" he stated.

_Ah, this was about them coming_, Arthur realized.

"Ssh, you'll be fine," he said and pulled Merlin in for a hug. "Morgana will watch him like a hawk and so will Gaius."

_I won't tell you what I'll do to the bastard if he behaves out of turn._

To be perfectly honest he didn't want Uther anywhere near Merlin but Morgana had advised it was the best way to go, as it would be a declaration that Merlin was a permanent fixture in his life. That made sense, because parading Merlin in front his father would be the strongest way to prove he was serious. He wasn't going to try to explain that to Merlin and he doubted he'd appreciate the term paraded but it was how he and his father communicated. Ever since he'd reached his mid-teens Arthur had been locked in a power struggle or as Morgana called it the "locking of horns" of two alpha males.

He felt Merlin stiffen and then tug against his hold. Reluctantly Arthur released him and stared in surprise at the uncharacteristically fierce emotion Merlin was expressing. He looked a bit pissed off.

"I'm _not _scared of him Arthur, I'm _not_ going to let him break us up," he emphasised strongly.

Arthur frowned, he was obviously happy if Merlin was feeling more confident but he wasn't sure how much he should believe his words.

"I mean it!" Merlin stated firmly. "I was taken aback before when he went on the attack but _now_ I know we are stronger than anyone's protests or interference." He looked shyly now at Arthur as if it was sinking in that what he said was true.

"Believe it," Arthur muttered and hauled Merlin in close and proceeded to kiss him senseless. Well the intent was there but when he drew back Merlin was annoyingly alert and talking about getting the place tidy and demanding "what are you doing just standing there in your pyjamas?" Arthur sighed. "Yes wife," he mumbled under his breath and quickly moved out of reach as a hand moved to swat his head. It was like living with Morgana. He moved back to give Merlin a quick kiss of apology but as he turned a hand reached this time to pinch his arse and he swiveled to meet Merlin's grin. Ah, but here there were a few benefits. "I'm going," he laughed and headed for the bedroom, unfortunately without Merlin.

Pulling on a fresh vibrant red shirt, to complete his ensemble, Arthur reached for some hair gel and headed toward the full-length mirror in the corner of his bedroom. He styled his hair, experiencing Déjà vu as he recalled preparing to go to Morgana's Christmas party. Arthur smirked as a low wolf whistle came from the doorway. He could see Merlin reflected in the glass leaning against the wall and fingers still in his mouth. Arthur's blood rushed south as he studied the picture the other man made, licked his lips and focused on those full red lips. The fingers remained frozen in place, still between Merlin's lips and Arthur glanced up to see an arrested look on the other man's face.

"What's wrong?" Arthur asked as Merlin remained and just looked at him with wide eyes.

"Come here," he ordered in a strained voice.

Quirking a brow Arthur moved toward the other man. "Wha...?" he began before a mouth sealed over his and a warm, wet tongue was invading to meet his.

_Oh. Okay. This worked._

*

It was a quarter to two and their visitors were due shortly. Arthur selected a fine bottle of red and another of white wine, as he knew the tastes well of those coming. Merlin was putting out a couple of bowls of nibbles made up of a variety of nuts and crisps. He studied the other man as he carefully put them on the table, tongue sticking out in adorable concentration.

"Ready, and looks good" he announced and smiled as Merlin flushed at the praise.

He was wearing a pair of smart black trousers, shirt of a similar hue and an elegant navy neckerchief. Arthur had understood his need with Uther attending, and Merlin had muttered he'd not have minded going without if it had just been them.

_He would work on increasing Merlin's confidence and if that meant repeatedly showing his appreciation of his appearance then so be it. Not that it would be a hardship._

The doorbell rang and they both jerked forward only for Merlin to stop and indicated Arthur should go and answer the door.

"No, come with me," Arthur urged and squeezed the other man's hand comfortingly.

When they reached the front door, they looked at each other and Arthur smiled at the glint of battle in Merlin's eyes. _He would do fine. _He yanked open the door.

"Darlings," Morgana expressed in delight and grinned as they rolled their eyes as one. "Merry Christmas," she said, hugged them both and let her eyes flit back and forth between them in obvious delight.

"Bit early with the greetings love," he pointed out.

"Well if I thought I'd reach either of you on the phone tomorrow then I'd say it then," she uttered. "Somehow I think anyone else will be surplus to requirements for you two."

A loud groan emitted from behind her and then a familiar voice was heard to mutter, "They're in love Uther, remember what that was like." Then Gaius gently eased Morgana forward so that they could all enter the flat. "Thank you for having us boys," he greeted them with a smile, which changed swiftly to his usual expressionless visage.

Then Uther was standing there, looking rather dour and restless and shifting from foot to foot.

"This is for you," he muttered and thrust an expensive bottle of champagne into Arthur's hands. Uther turned to Merlin and held out a hand. "I, ah...apologise for the last occasion we met. Perhaps, I wasn't entirely polite."

_He could do better than that._

Arthur was about to intervene when he noticed that Merlin hadn't yet accepted his father's hand.

"I would say that is a massive understatement," Merlin stated calmly, but with eyes of blue fire.

Uther gaped, and then his hand fell by his side.

_Bloody hell._

Arthur tugged the other man in close and smiled proudly before meeting his father's eyes with angry demand.

For a brief moment, Uther looked torn and then he was reaching out once more. "I truly apologise," he murmured. "I see I underestimated you and your relationship with my son."

Merlin took the proffered hand. "I think that we both want the same thing," he suggested.

Uther appeared instantly suspicious and Arthur suspected he knew his thoughts.

_Damn man thought everyone was out for themselves or in Merlin's case wanted something from him._

"Arthur's happiness," Merlin stated looking rather confused by Uther's continued incomprehension.

A wave of realisation seemed to sweep over his father and Arthur watched in part amusement and part sadness as it registered finally with Uther that Merlin was genuinely unaware of his murkier thoughts.

"You see father," he whispered and smiled as Uther shook the other man's hand slowly looking rather confused himself now.

Arthur wasn't naive enough to believe that Uther had changed his ways entirely, he would still doubt Merlin and others for their intent but for now, a cease-fire would do. His father would soon find out that Merlin came first if he tried anything.

"Are you all coming in or will Gaius and I drink all of this delicious looking wine by ourselves?" Morgana called impatiently.

All three men shared a look of mutual exasperation.

"Better go," Uther suggested.

"You'd think she was the host," Arthur muttered.

Merlin grinned. "Do you think she'd notice if we all left for the pub?"

Arthur watched his father smirk and then snort with laughter. "I think you'll fit right in," he muttered. "But I'm afraid Gaius would never let me forget it if we did."

As if to back his claim up, they heard Gaius calling them with the slightest hint of a break in his usually patient tones.

Reluctantly they moved to join the others.

*

"That went well," Arthur murmured and collapsed on a chair. He watched as Merlin did the same before throwing his crutches on the ground.

"I'm knackered," he moaned.

"Morgana?" Arthur asked with a raised brow.

Merlin was leaning back with his eyes closed but he managed a nod. "I love her to bits but she never shuts up."

Starting to chuckle he found Merlin joining in and they both just laughed themselves silly over the day they'd spent.

"Did you see Gaius's face when your father told that story about his stag night," Merlin gasped. "I thought he'd expire on his chair or at least hit him."

Arthur snorted as he recalled hearing of how his Godfather had been accosted by a male stripper in a private club.

"I never thought I'd see the day Gaius blushed," Arthur managed through his laughter. "I'll no longer see him in the same light again."

"Morgana was speechless for once," Merlin said.

"See, that story was a win-win situation," he stated seriously before beginning to choke on his drink. Merlin was laughing at him now as he flushed red and then quickly went for a glass of water.

"It was more fun for me seeing you all drink and talk nonsense," Merlin said with a sly smile.

_Oh that's right the muppet had been on cola all day._

"Erm," he mumbled.

Shit what had been said about him again?

"Oh don't worry, it was all good. Morgana was very informative when we had a chat out on the balcony," Merlin explained.

_What!_

"Got you," he cackled_._Arthur frowned but couldn't keep it up for long and stuck out his tongue. "What do you think they got us?" he asked, changing the subject.

They both looked at the pile of expensively wrapped parcels under the small plastic Christmas tree. Merlin had already muttered that next year they'd be getting a real one. This comment had filled Arthur with a warm glow, which had quite alarmed him with its sappiness.

"I've already guessed at Morgana's," Merlin claimed. "Think it's a selection of neckerchiefs and a hotel voucher for the Dorchester."

"How can you tell that?" Arthur asked in disbelief. "It's not exactly voucher or neckerchief shaped is it?"

Merlin shrugged. "She told me," he murmured.

Arthur felt outraged. "I asked her about my gift and she made me promise not to open it until tomorrow morning," he grumbled.

Merlin grinned knowingly and then shook his head at the gleam in Arthur's eye. "Oh no, no telling," he refused.

_Damn it._

"We'll both have to wait till morning," Merlin ordered.

"Not the same if you know what you got," Arthur pouted.

Rolling his eyes, Merlin struggled to his feet, using his crutches. Arthur quickly approached to assist.

"You tired?" he asked all concerned now.

Merlin smirked. "Nope."

With a low growl, Arthur carried him to their bedroom.


	25. Vita Nova

Hi guys!

This is the end-warnings now for sappiness below and big thankful hugs for everyone who read, reviewed and enjoyed this story. I appreciate every one of you. SMOOCHES YOU. Lastly a big thank you to socalrose/D for being such a great beta-hugs you tight.

*

Arthur wakened to a god-awful racket.

_Who had invited the band Queen to their home?_

He could hear 'Don't stop me now' blaring through the flat and grinned as he recalled Merlin informing him it was his favourite song.

Then he remembered. _For fucks sake it was Christmas Day!_

Throwing back the covers, Arthur leapt from the bed and headed toward the source of sound. He entered the living room not prepared for what he encountered.

_Oh my fucking God!_

Merlin was there, stark naked wrapped in navy ribbon and lounging in a chair with a smirk to end all smirks.

"Are you pissed?" he asked staring at the expanse of milky flesh and wondering if it would be untoward to just pick him up and shag him without comment.

The smirk grew smirkier, if that was a word, and the teasing man shook in the negative.

"Ankle - remember," Merlin pointed out and looked up at Arthur seductively.

"Not that I don't appreciate it but what is this in aid of?" he asked.

Merlin shrugged, looking embarrassed for the first time as his cheeks bloomed crimson. "I'm your present," he mumbled. "I couldn't get to the shops to buy you a proper present. I'd bought you something before but that was when we weren't..._you know_."

Arthur felt touched as it was transparent how much the other man cared and to be honest that was far more important than any material object he could have received.

"What did you get me?" he asked curiously.

"Like I'm going to tell you," Merlin protested. He pointed at a red wrapped parcel under the tree to his left and nibbled at his lip as Arthur glanced at it then back at him.

"Open it," he commanded.

Arthur walked over to the tree, ignoring the other presents, even Morgana's which had seemed to be winking at him the previous evening. He picked up the smallish present and gave it a soft shake.

"Not breakable then," he murmured, as there was no sound from the soft movement.

He began to tear off the wrapping and stared in disbelief at the box, which declared it a muffin mix. "You got me ingredients for muffins?" he asked in delight. Merlin was watching anxiously. "That's brilliant," he said with a slight smirk.

"I thought it was a bit off the wall but I got you something else too," Merlin said.

_Oh yes, there was an envelope there too._

Arthur opened it and burst out laughing as he read the note, which stated there was a selection of the best single malt whisky awaiting collection at the nearby distillery.

"Is this to make up for a certain thieving, gorgeous man I know drinking my supplies?" he wondered aloud and grinned as Merlin's "hey" of annoyance turned into a smile at the gorgeous reference.

"Maybe," Merlin husked. "But there's another way I could make up for that."

"You randy bastard," Arthur declared. "What about the rest of the presents?" he pressed.

Merlin stuck out his lower lip and rolled his eyes. "Okay," he grumbled. "I guess you can open Morgana's," he sighed.

Arthur could see that he really didn't mind and even appeared to be anticipating his opening the gift.

_What had she got him?_

He picked it up and opened it quickly in his eagerness and then stared in amazement.

He held a book, but not just any book, a record of his mother's final year at high school-her yearbook. Having nothing of his mothers Arthur felt his eyes well up at the chance to study pictures of his mother and read about her younger self. Looking up he met Merlin's gaze and saw a similar openness as they shared this overwhelming moment.

"She hunted high and low," Merlin whispered. "She really cares about you."

Looking at the beautifully restored book Arthur smiled and swore to thank his stepsister at the first opportunity,

"I know," he murmured in response.

Then he carefully placed the present on the coffee table and locked eyes with Merlin.

"As lovely a surprise as that was, I believe I've saved the best for last," he murmured.

Merlin instantly flushed but then abruptly frowned. "What about what you got me?" he wondered.

Impatient to devour but acknowledging the fairness of Merlin's words, Arthur collected his gift and handed it to the other man.

"I hope you like it," he said, his throat going suddenly dry.

He smirked as Merlin lifted the smaller part of his gift. "No way!" he exclaimed. Merlin lifted the box and stared as he read what it contained. "Muffin mix!" he muttered in disbelief.

"Great minds think alike," Arthur shrugged. "We can have muffin meets at the flat," he suggested and chuckled as Merlin murmured, "That was my thinking too."

He grinned as Merlin opened the envelope contained in his present.

"A plasma T.V?" Merlin said.

"Well at that point I was fed up coming round and having to put up with that piece of shIt you call a T.V." Arthur grumbled.

"Hmm," Merlin muttered. "Our gifts aren't exactly romantic are they?"

"I've one more thing for you," Arthur said nervously. "Feel free to turn it down, it isn't compulsory but I thought you would..." he paused as Merlin interrupted.

"Ssh, it's okay, just tell me," he advised with a soft smile.

Reaching under the tree, Arthur lifted a tiny parcel and handed it over to Merlin who accepted it without a word.

He watched on his knees, before his love, as the other man opened it with trembling fingers as if knowing that this was a significant moment.

"A key!" he exclaimed in wonder. Merlin lifted the brass key and transferred his gaze to Arthur. He looked uncertain but hopeful and it gave Arthur the courage to say what was needed.

"I found a home," he mumbled. "I think it's perfect, and I hope you think so too. If you don't like it..."

Merlin pressed a finger to his lips, reaching down and stroking over Arthur's full lower lip. "Tell me. Its okay."

"A home," he murmured. "I found a home for us, it's in London and I've requested they keep it free until you see it."

Suddenly fingers were threading through his hair and he was being tugged forward so that warm lips could taste his own.

"I'll come see it," Merlin whispered. "Regardless I want to live with you and make a new home together."

"Yes," Arthur hissed. That was what he wanted, it didn't matter where, although the home he'd found did seem perfect.

"I think you are being very slack," Merlin commented in a steady tone.

"Oh?" Arthur wondered, distracted as he nibbled on _that_ sinful mouth.

"Here I am, tied up and awaiting your pleasure and we're still in the living room and you are wearing all your clothes," Merlin said huskily.

_Oh, he was begging for that body to be taken._

Arthur swooped and grabbed his prey, laughing as he struggled without much taste for it and eventually wilted and smiled up at him with a look of content and extreme satisfaction.

"Rest of presents later?" he pressed. A few kisses were placed strategically over known sensitive areas.

"Oh yes," Merlin murmured in a sleepily sexy voice.

_Score._

Arthur took him through to the bedroom and placed him on the large bed, enjoying the image Merlin made, naked as the day he was born and staring up at him with a hungry look.

"It's just you and me now," Arthur promised.

_He could eat him up. Fucking hell, he would kill for this man.  
_  
At that moment, his phone signalled he had received a text. As he read it quickly, he almost laughed at the timing, in regard to his thoughts.

**Hey A, Just 2 let u knw E is dead in Oz. Stupid git dbl crossed some drug dealers – they killed him. Don't stress; nothing to do with us. L.  
P.S. Happy Christmas**

Arthur felt a weight lift off his shoulders; it was over. One thing was certain he wasn't mourning the son of a bitch. He looked down at Merlin who lay beneath, staring up at him with eyes full of trust and love. He'd never believed he'd find someone who'd feel that much for him and make him feel the same for them. In this man, he'd found the lot, all he'd dreamt of and more. Now was not the time to share his text from Leon, he wouldn't ruin Christmas for Merlin by talking about that piece of scum. He would tell him after Christmas because they shared things and above all, Arthur valued trust and honesty.

"You okay?" Merlin asked as he watched Arthur place his mobile back on the bedside cabinet.

Arthur stared down at him, eyes revealing his soul, as he studied his salvation. "Yeah you muppet, I'm more than okay."

Merlin beamed.


End file.
